Advice

A majority of singles today have tried online dating, but many have never attended a speed dating party. Among twenty-somethings in New York however, speed dating is becoming a new trend.

The concept of speed dating is simple: a group of men and women gather together to go on a series of 5-minute pre-dates with one another. It’s a way to meet as many singles as possible in a short time span so you can see who you might be interested in dating. But instead of wading through profiles and sending emails back and forth, speed dating can be much more efficient because you’re meeting your potential dates in person.

Twenty-somethings in New York are now finding “hipster speed dating” events around the city, with themes like “The Internet Killed Your Social Skills”. The idea is a bit retro: instead of relying on Facebook and other social networking sites to find dates, these parties encourage people to meet face-to-face and improve their pick-up skills. It’s an alternative to the virtual dating trend.

While speed dating has yet to grow as popular as online dating, many people looking for partners of the same religious affiliation or with similar interests find it to be a good way to meet people.

For the social networkers among us however, online dating sites and Facebook are still the preferred methods. After all, it’s easier to make introductions virtually, and it’s also easier to filter out people you’d rather not meet in the first place.

For singles interested in trying this type of dating, check out our list of websites in our Speed Dating category. For those of you from New York city, Hurry Date is a popular Speed Dating choice.

One of the most common questions asked about online dating is: "How do I write a profile?"

Staring at a blank page and knowing that you can use only 350 words to describe everything about yourself in a way that is attractive and intriguing can be more than a little intimidating, even for the most experienced writers. Trust me, I know - I've been there, done that, and had to do it all without any guidance!

Through a little trial and error, and a lot of patience, I learned how to create a profile that expresses who I am and attracts the kind of people I want to get to know. The experimental method got me where I needed to be, but I'd like to accelerate the process for you.

So without further ado...Profile Writing: The Do's.

• Do be positive. Avoid talking about things you don't like, people who have hurt you, and bad experiences you've had. People won't be interested in bringing you into their lives if they think you're going to bring a lot of negativity with you.
• Do write a targeted profile. If you're especially interested in meeting a certain kind of person, craft a profile that will attract that kind of person's attention. If you're only interested in dating animal lovers, for example, talk about the farm you grew up on and the five dogs you own now.
• Do be clear about your intentions. Know what kind of relationship you want, and make sure that anyone viewing your profile knows too. If you're only interested in something serious and long-term, say so. If you don't want to date anyone long-distance, mention it. If smoking is a deal breaker, include it in your profile. You'll weed out a lot of inadequate matches instantly.
• Do consult with a friend. If you find it difficult to write about yourself, enlist the help of an acquaintance. Our friends often know us better than we know ourselves, so if you find yourself struggling with writer's block, ask an acquaintance what makes you such a great catch.
• Do proofread. Check your spelling. Check your grammar. Purge your profile of childish netspeak. Read everything out loud to check for clarity and flow. Obvious errors in a profile are a huge turnoff - after all, if someone can't be bothered to put a little time and effort into writing a profile, what are the odds that they'll put time and effort into building a relationship?
• Do offer unique details. People browsing your profile want to know what makes you special, so include a few details that express your individuality. If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life, what song would it be? What is your favorite piece of art? If you could meet a fictional character in real life, who would you choose?

Following these six suggestions will put you on the right track to finding love online, but the "do's" are only half the battle. Continue learning how construct the perfect profile with "Profile Writing: The Don'ts."

If you've decided you're ready to explore the world of online dating, the prospect of having to decide what sites you're interested in joining might seem just as daunting as finding potential mates you're interested in dating.

Don't freak out. Choosing a dating site is actually a lot easier than you might think, as long as you ask yourself a few key questions while evaluating prospective sites:

Does this site fit into my budget?
Some sites are free, while others require a yearly or monthly subscription. Many of the most well known dating sites, like Match.com and eHarmony.com, charge a fee for membership, but don't assume that cost is the sole indicator of a site's quality. Free sites like PlentyOfFish.com or OkCupid.com are also very popular.

Does this site offer all of the features I want?
Are you interested in having the option to video chat? Do you want the ability to browse other people's profiles, or do you want the site to automatically match you with members it thinks you'll connect with? Do you want unlimited messaging? It's important to make sure that the sites or membership levels you choose include the features that will make online dating an enjoyable experience for you.

What kind of relationship am I looking for?
Maybe you're easing yourself back into the dating pool after a long hiatus and want to date many people casually. Maybe no-strings-attached adult dating is more your style. Maybe you're only interested in finding a serious, long-term relationship. Whatever your needs are, there's a site out there that caters to them.

Is a niche dating site right for me?
A niche site can be a great option if you're looking for a partner with very specific attributes or interests. Want to date a millionaire? Try MillionaireMatch.com. Interested in people of a specific ethnic background? InterracialMatch.com might be ideal for you. If you're vegan or vegetarian, try your luck at VeggieDate.org. There's a dating site for pretty much everything and everyone, from faith-based sites (CatholicCupid.com and JDate), to sites for specific occupations (TeachersPassions.com), to sites for animal lovers (EquestrianSingles.com). Niche dating sites narrow down your potential choices and, as an added bonus, provide an easy way to start a conversation.

Are the members of this site people I'd actually be interested in meeting?
Many dating sites charge you to contact other members, but allow you to sign up for free. Take advantage of that opportunity and browse through the profiles of other members before making a decision. Do most of the profiles appear to be real? Do you find the members attractive? Are you interested in knowing more about some of them? If you're unable to find anyone that intrigues you, move on to the next site.

Is the site reviewed positively?
There's no better way to get to know a site than reading other members' opinions of it. And as you might have guessed, the perfect place to start your search is right here, at DatingSitesReviews.com!

It's time for a quiz!

Are you:

• Burned out on the over-priced drinks and drunken hook-up culture of the nightlife scene?
• So busy that your schedule hardly allows you time for eating, sleeping, and life's other necessities - and definitely doesn't allow you time for anything else?
• Concerned about the toll traditional dinner-and-a-movie dates are taking on your wallet?
• Sick and tired of never meeting people with similar interests, hobbies, and goals?

If you answered "yes" to one or more of those questions, it may be time to try online dating. In the first part of this series, "5 Reasons Online Dating Might Be Right For You," I told you about a few of the ways online dating can be superior to conventional dating. I'm sure some of you joined a dating site right away, but others are probably still skeptical, unsure if embracing the Internet can really change your love life's luck.

To the cynics, I present 5 more reasons online dating might be right for you:

1) The playing field is completely level. If you're the kind of person who uses excuses like "He's too good-looking for me" or "She's surrounded by too many people already" to keep yourself from approaching strangers, it's time to consider online dating. Almost everyone on a dating site is there because they want to meet new people, so you don't have to stress yourself out wondering if you should say "Hi" to someone who has caught your eye - the answer is always a resounding "YES!"

2) You can showcase your personality. Offline, most people are attracted to a person's looks before anything else. While there's nothing wrong with finding someone's physical appearance appealing, dating online offers the opportunity display all of your other great features to potential suitors first, allowing you to weed out bad matches immediately and find stronger, deeper connections more quickly.

3) You can set the pace. When meeting in person, there can be a lot of pressure to move things forward more quickly than you're comfortable with. On a dating site, however, you can send and respond to messages as swiftly or as slowly as you want, and can take as much time as you need to plot your next move or think up the perfect opening line that will make your future mate fall in love with you instantly.

4) There's no confrontation. Most of us are terrified of rejection. And who wouldn't be? It's depressing and discouraging to have someone you're attracted to look you in the eyes and tell you they're not interested in you, and it can be equally uncomfortable to tell someone else that you're not interested in them. Dating online can't eliminate rejection completely, but the lack of face-to-face contact can make a painful process a lot more bearable.

5) Selection. Online dating sites allow you to browse through profiles of potential matches located anywhere in the world, unlike traditional dating which only allows you to meet people who live nearby. If that doesn't drastically increase your odds of finding The One, I don't know what does!

So what are you waiting for, cynics? Love is waiting just around the technological corner.

Over 50 million people are logging on to look for love - are you?

That number alone should provide enough incentive to venture into the world of online dating, but if you're still not convinced, here are 5 reasons online dating might be right for you:

1) There is no longer a stigma attached to finding love online. There was a time when people assumed that anyone using the Internet to find dates was unattractive, extremely desperate, and potentially psychotic. Newsflash: this is the 21^st century, and online dating is now considered just as legitimate as meeting The One offline.

2) It's relatively inexpensive. The cost of dinners, movies, flowers, drinks, and chocolates adds up over time - and in the midst of a recession, conventional dating might not fit into your budget anymore! Fortunately, with the proliferation of free and low-fee sites, online dating can be an affordable alternative.

3) It's convenient. Are you a busy professional with a hectic schedule? Meet potential matches during your lunch break, or during any other spare moment you might find. Sick? Having a bad hair day? Still wearing your pajamas at 3 o'clock in the afternoon? No problem! Online dating allows you to interact with prospective partners from anywhere, at any time, and in any condition.

4) You're shy. If you're introverted, socially awkward, or break out in a cold sweat just from thinking about approaching someone you're attracted to, online dating is just what the doctor ordered. Profiles allow you to start the getting-to-know-you process from the comfort of your home or office, significantly reducing the anxiety that many feel in social situations. Making the first move by sending an e-mail or clicking a button that says "Flirt" probably feels less stressful than having to say "Hi!" to a complete stranger, but it accomplishes the same goal.

5) Targeted searches. Finding a match using traditional dating methods is based entirely on good luck. Maybe you're only interested in women over 5'8", with a certain color eyes, and who enjoy a specific hobby, or maybe you only want a man who is from Northern California, has brown hair, likes to cook, and speaks Japanese. What are the odds that you'll stumble upon the ideal mate in a grocery store, on the dancefloor, or in your favorite park? Unless you have some seriously good karma, it's probably pretty unlikely. Enter online dating, stage left. Internet dating sites allow you to make your searches as broad or as specific as you'd like, increasing your chances that you'll find someone you're truly interested in.

Online dating has become a way of life for millions of people across the globe and I'm confident that love can be found online, but if you still have your doubts, check out part two of this series - "5 More Reasons Online Dating Might Be Right For You" - for more information on why the Internet might be the perfect place to find your perfect match.

I recently helped a friend choose the default picture for his online dating profile. It wasn't all that hard, really; while some pictures instantly gave me warm fuzzies, others gave me the chills. After awhile, I began to analyze my gut instinct. What, exactly, separated a good picture from a dud?

Well, for possibly the first time, smiling was not an issue. This guy just doesn't smile much, if ever (I'm working on him, though, and he will smile in a picture someday, I assure you). However, that doesn't mean he had the same expression in every picture. Even if his mouth was in the exact same position, there were pictures where he was smiling more with his eyes and the rest of his face – and really, the difference between a picture where he's smiling with his eyes, and one where he's not, is startling.

So what can we take from this? Simply, looking pleasant makes a big difference. Even if you're self-conscious about your actual smile, try to use pictures that were taken when you were in a good mood. The difference is noticeable, I promise.

But smiling with the eyes wasn't the only factor in play here. At first, I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but then it hit me like a ton of bricks: the major factor in whether a picture was creepy or reassuring was his pose. You see, he had a tendency to look at the camera right on. I'm talking completely squared to the lens, almost confrontational. It was intense, to say the least, and those pictures bore more than a little resemblance to a mug shot.

So what does this mean as we choose our own pictures? Well, while they should be clear shots of your face, you don't want to look like you're going to come crawling out of the monitor. Maybe it's a subconscious primal instinct, like when they tell you not to look dogs directly in the face. Regardless, make sure your intensity is not turned up to eleven.

It also looks slightly less posed when you're angled a bit away. Think of yourself in a social setting, having a conversation with friends. Are you always positioned squarely in front of the person you're chatting with? A picture that's angled just slightly feels candid, more comfortable. And with an angled picture, you can experiment to see if you actually have a “good side.” Sometimes the results can be shocking.

Ultimately, the key to a good picture is that it's inviting, and the best way to create that is to have a good time when the picture is taken. A straight-on photo with a great, genuine smile is better than a posed, self-conscious, angled picture – it's all in the sincerity of the subject.