Tips

I'm the optimistic sort, but in the face of online dating, even my normally unshakable optimism can start to quiver.

It's not that online dating is bad – far from it – but it isn't always easy. If you've been slogging through dead-end date after dead-end date, online dating might feel like a quick fix for a dull love life. You basically just put up a profile and go shopping for a significant other, right? How hard can it be to swipe until someone tickles your fancy?

Optimist Me says you might get lucky. You could come across someone who's perfect partner material right away and be an instant online dating success story. On the other hand, Realist Me knows those stories are rare, and you'll probably have your fair share of dating fails before you meet your dream date.

The hard part is not getting discouraged when you're in the failure stage. If there's anything that guarantees you won't be an online dating success story, it's giving up on online dating. It will have its hard moments, but it will also have its rewarding ones. Set your expectations accordingly by accepting these 4 online dating truths:

1. Eventually you will run into someone you know. Even in a big city, this feels like an inevitability. It could be a Facebook friend. It could be a co-worker. It could even be a sibling. Try not to feel too awkward and move on. It's pretty much a fact of modern life that this will happen and everyone just has to get used to it.
2. You will be ghosted. You've met someone you're into. You share a few messages back and forth, things seem like they're going well, and then... the person disappears, never to be heard from again. Is it polite? No. But is it the price of doing online dating business? Yes. It will happen, and when it does, you have to let it go and move on.
3. Photos will lie. Everyone knows this is a risk with online dating, yet we still act surprised when it happens. Most people online are genuine, but there are plenty who use filters, strategic angles, careful lighting, and years-old photos to appear younger or more attractive. You'll get burned at some point, and the only response is to pick yourself up and carry on.
4. A 99% match could be meaningless. Fancy algorithms sound like the key to Dating 2.0, but at the end of the day it's just guesswork. No algorithm (yet) gets it right all the time. Chemistry just isn't quantifiable. Dating sites do the best they can, but don't let it get you down if a person you thought was perfect on paper doesn't hold up in person.

At this point online dating is pretty much inescapable. It seems like everyone has tried it, or knows someone who tried it, or has at least thought about it. For some of those people it's intuitive. For others it's... not.

Let's get this out of the way first: it's totally ok if you don't “get it” immediately. There's a learning curve, and learning means taking a few tumbles before you can run a marathon. An online dating marathon. Or something (just go with it).

Some of those tumbles you'll have to take on your own, but here's a quick guide to getting it right with as few scrapes and bruises as possible. Avoid these all-too-common online dating mistakes:

1. “Hi” is not a conversation starter. “How are you?” isn't either. And something obscene most definitely isn't. A conversation starter is supposed to – breaking news – start a conversation, which one boring word or easily answered phrase most definitely won't do. Pick something you found interesting in the profile and ask specifically about that.
2. 2^nd grade spelling tests do matter. Yes, they were a pain when you were a kid, but you took them for a reason. Not knowing the difference between “your” and “you're” as an adult is not a good look. Brush up on grammar rules and spell check before you send anything.
3. Try, try again does not apply here. If at first you don't succeed, it's probably a sign. You might be able to get away with one follow-up – it is possible your message got lost, or that its intended recipient was too busy to get back – but don't relentlessly message someone who doesn't respond. As Elsa would say, let it go.
4. While you're at it, don't get nosy or rude about a lack of reply. No one owes you an answer. In a perfect world we would all be brilliant communicators, but sometimes silence is all we've got. Don't ask why they didn't write back, and don't harass them about it. Accept it and move on.
5. It's not all about you. It's not not about you, but it's not all about you. What it is about is balance. On one hand, there's something in particular you're looking for – you have wants and needs that should be met. On the other hand, so do the people you're trying to date. It's ok (and encouraged) to share things about yourself, but you also have to ask about the other person. Selfishness is not sexy, period.

That should get you started. Now tumble away.

After a long stint off the dating scene, you're bound to feel a bit rusty. You're torn.

On one hand, you're itching to get your man about town status back. On the other, you're secretly scared you don't remember how any of it works.

Whether you're divorced, widowed, dumped, or embracing singlehood by choice, these tips will get you back in the online dating game.

1. It may take longer than anticipated. You're raring to go because online dating feels fresh and fun. Your date may not feel the same way. Online dating may take a back seat to her busy life, so relax and don't let your head get carried away with negative thoughts if she doesn't respond right away.
2. You may not actually speak before meeting. Back when you were courting, before your last relationship, it may have been customary to get to know each other over the phone. Those days are over. Phones are for everything but phone calls now. Between an online dating site's messaging function and texting, it's highly likely (and perfectly acceptable) that you won't speak until your face-to-face meeting.
3. She probably won't want you to pick her up. It's almost hard to believe that was once a thing. Now, no woman you meet online (unless she has complete disregard for her safety) will want you to meet her at home. Most online daters are trustworthy, but enough aren't that women have to take security seriously. You will most likely meet in a mutually agreed upon public place.
4. Don't bring a present. In a romantic age gone by, it was customary for a gentlemen to bring something for his lady friend – a bouquet of flowers, perhaps, or some other small token of affection. These days it will probably get you dumped before the date even starts. It's too much too soon (and may come off as creepy or sleazy).
5. Don't be surprised if she offers to go Dutch. Plenty of women offer to split the check with you after a date. What you do with that offer is up to you. Just don't make the mistake of thinking it's emasculating or means she thinks you aren't capable of paying. It's a positive – she's independent, capable of taking care of herself, and doesn't consider you a walking wallet.

Some things, on the other hand, never change. It's still polite to follow-up after a date (try a text instead of a call). If all went well, you'll have an open invite to plan the next one. If not... well... no means exactly the same thing now as it did years ago.

Your home isn't the only thing that could use a spring cleaning. While your home was collecting clutter and dust over the cold winter months, your online dating profile was doing exactly the same thing.

Metaphorically speaking, that is, unless for some reason you've left your laptop open and untouched since December.

Either way, your online dating profile is in need of an update and spring is the perfect time. Try the following tweaks:

1. Add new interests. Odds are, you've changed since you first wrote your profile. You may have picked up a new hobby or dropped an old one during that time, meaning your profile is no longer an accurate representation of who you are. Comb through it to take out anything you aren't into and add anything new you've picked up. It's especially important to note activities you would enjoy doing with someone else, hint hint.
2. Refresh your photos. Those pictures you put up 5 years ago when you first joined the site? Delete them. The first reason is obvious: you may not look like that any more. You would be disappointed to meet someone in person who looked nothing like their photos, so don't do the same to others. The second reason might be less obvious: new photos make you look like a new addition to the site. Potential dates who have seen your photos before will pass straight over you, but post new pictures and you may suddenly generate a wave of new interest.
3. Expand your parameters. Give yourself the best opportunity to meet someone interesting by expanding your search. You think you have a “type” and perhaps you have a long list of deal breakers to go along with it, but being too specific is limiting. Look back on your online dating history. Have you been chasing after the same person with different names (and disappointing results)? If you've been fishing in that pond for a long time, it's time to find a new pond. Date possibilities will skyrocket once you venture out of your original comfort zone.

If none of that is drastic enough to suit your tastes, there's another option for your adventurous soul: rewrite your profile entirely. Scrap it all and start again. It's guaranteed to be a more up-to-date picture of who you are, and a revamped profile may even attract people who previously passed you over.

Your spring can't get any cleaner than that.

Online dating is hard. Dating is hard, period. What could be weirder than two total strangers trying to become not-total strangers? Let's just say the potential for comedic (and not so) mishaps is high.

With all that weirdness waiting to be unleashed at any second, it's no surprise we're desperate for any tip, trick, or nugget of wisdom that might stave it off. We've studied some seriously strange things in the name of cracking the online dating code, and although some are as weird as the weirdness they're trying to prevent, they're always interesting.

Check out a few unusual online dating facts below. You're bound to be surprised by at least one.

1. Men aren't into receiving short messages. Forget all the stereotypes about men hating it when women talk too much. A message from a woman to a man is 40% more likely to get a response if it's longer than a tweet (140 characters).
2. Men are, however, into women who make the first move. Women are 73% more likely to get a response if they mention “dinner,” “drinks,” or “lunch.” Speaking of stereotypes, maybe the one about “the quickest way to a man's heart” is true.
3. Online dating has a seasonal peak. The busiest time for online dating is between Christmas and Valentine's Day. According to Zoosk, the single most popular day is January 5, when 54% more people sign up.
4. There's an art to using smileys. Put aside emojis for a second and go back to the good old days of the classic smiley. If you send one with a nose :-), you're 13% more likely to get a response. If your smiley is lacking that key facial feature :), it's 66% less likely to get a message back.
5. Being active is attractive. Ok, maybe this one isn't so surprising, but it's still interesting. Wired made an infographic showing 380 of the 1,000 most commonly used words in profiles. Active, outdoorsy words like “surfing,” “skiing,” and “yoga” topped the list.
6. People actually prefer selfies. Joke about selfies all you want, but they're shockingly effective if you're looking for a date. A Zoosk study found that 84% of people favor selfies over formal profile pictures.
7. Too much online chit-chat can ruin a good thing. Because safety is a consideration when meeting a stranger over the Internet, you may think it's best to prolong the convo for as long as possible before meeting up in person. However, a 2013 study in the Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication suggests that too much communication could be problematic. The more you talk before a first date, the more time you have to idealize the person and the greater the risk of a letdown when you finally meet face-to-face.

To help promote the global launch of Tinder Plus, co-founder and soon-to-be former CEO Sean Rad has been in the news a lot lately. Recently, he hopped on Reddit to answer questions from the general public about Tinder, the launch of its new premium service, and what’s next for the company.

Because of the recent backlash about Tinder Plus, people were interested in the reasons behind the pricing of the new service - $9.99 for those under 30, and for those 30 and older, $19.99. According to Rad, “months of testing and thought went into the feature and price mix for Tinder Plus. We tested a broad range of prices and found that users that saw value in Tinder Plus were more than willing to pay at the existing price points.” He goes on to talk about Passport and Rewind, the two most-requested features offered in the new service, which allow you to check out people in other cities and also to reconsider someone you rejected before.

Rad also fielded questions on whether the app creates feelings of rejection – after all, you can be rejected with one swipe in less than a second on Tinder. Rad countered this question by explaining how Tinder works. People won’t know that you liked them unless they swipe right on your profile. “We call this the ‘double opt-in.’ Even if you don’t match with another user, there’s no certainty that they saw your profile.”

Tinder’s history holds a series of lucky accidents – for one, it was almost named Matchbox. The first version of the app didn’t even have swiping, Tinder’s signature feature. Co-Founder Jonathan Badeen explains: “I snuck it in a few weeks later and told everybody after it was released that they could swipe. The swipe was born out of a desire to mimic real life interactions with a card stack. When organizing cards you put them into piles. Swiping right fittingly throws the card in the direction of the matches…The swipe just made sense in this case and seems stupid simple in retrospect.”

One of the participants asked how the founders came up with the idea of Tinder, to which Rad replied: “…we had this obsession with breaking down the barriers in meeting people around you. We noticed that people grew closer to their small groups of friends but grew farther apart from the rest of the world in the process. We knew that if we could simply take the fear out of meeting someone, that we could bring the people closer together. And we've done just that.”

Please read our Tinder review for more information on this popular dating app.