Advice

Here's a finding from the 2010 LoveGeist Report that's bound to surprise no one: the battle of the sexes is far from over.

It has, however, evolved a great deal over time, as a result of the changing economic climate, the rise of female empowerment, and shifting social values.

Modern men and women agree on some things. Security, for instance, is extremely important to both sexes in light of the recession. 93% of male survey respondents and 97% of female survey respondents reported that they are looking for a partner with whom they feel secure. The concept of security, it appears, has taken on a new meaning in the 21st century. Gone are the visions of knights in shining armor who protect damsels in distress - security now means a man or a woman looking for a partner who "loves, respects and looks out for them."

Women and men are certainly not in agreement about everything, however. Data shows that women are more emotionally connected than their male counterparts. "When asked about the most important factors in a successful relationship," says the LoveGeist report, "all the emotional responses - from shared values, to feeling comfortable together, to being able to communicate properly - are more likely to be important to women than men."

It appears, though, that men are becoming more emotionally intelligent. 35% say that they find it easy to say "I love you" for the first time, compared to only 23% of women. Men are also more flexible when it comes to making changes to nurture their love lives:

• Half are prepared to change where they live in order to pursue a good relationship (compared to 43% of women).
• 47% would compromise their independence (compared to 39% of women).
• 34% would reprioritize their career (compared to 27% of women).
• 30% would change who they socialize with (almost double the 16% of women who would do the same).

The LoveGeist Report also found that:

• Single men are more interested in marriage than women (51% of men say they would like to get married, compared to 48% of women).
• The modern man still believes in chivalry. Nearly 2/3 of male respondents said that it is important for men to be chivalrous to their dates.
• Single men rank their love lives higher in a list of life priorities than single women. 29% of men listed love as their first priority, while only 12% of women did.

So, bearing all these differences in mind, what is the key to a successful relationship between a man and a woman?

Love is all about building a foundation of comfort, shared values, and familiarity; it's not about "perfection or the ideal income or any other unrealistic expectations." It means making your relationship priority, and not expecting love to simply fall into your lap. Long-term partners must have compatible goals and an ability to laugh together. There must be "honesty, trust, communication and compromise." A successful relationship is a living thing in a constant state of growth and change, a "lifelong developmental process" that evolves along with you and your partner.

For more information on this popular UK dating site, please check out our Match.com UK review.

When we're not dating someone, we have extra time to sit and figure out what it is we do want in a person. Sometimes I think too much time is actually spent thinking about that dream person; suddenly a specific height or profession or interest gets more weight than it deserves, and really becomes a prerequisite. Many points have been made about how we shouldn't have such rigid requirements for a date, but hardly anyone addresses the opposite end of the spectrum: what do you do when you actually find someone who meets all your requirements – and you're not sure it's what you really wanted, after all?

It can be an uncomfortable situation, because it means that somehow, you are wrong, and no one likes to admit that. If you really feel you're not compatible with your magic unicorn, then you were wrong when you decided this was the sort of person you wanted (nay, needed). If you were right in your initial assessment of your needs, then you might be wrong in thinking that maybe your unicorn is not a good match after all; you could be throwing away your perfect match.

Note, of course, that this decision would not be nearly as problematic if you hadn't built up the idea of a “perfect match” in the first place; many people decide, with ease, whether they had chemistry with a date or not. It's when the person seems so perfect, and we have a very specific idea of what perfection is, that we have such difficulty. But we're human beings, and we've all built up something in our minds before, so once you're in this situation, what do you do?

Well, before you decide that all your time spent thinking about your needs was for naught, consider the here and now. Are you just having commitment issues? Are you intimidated by the idea that you might have actually found a person worth pursuing? Are you simply afraid of rejection?

If you honestly feel that it's not a personal issue, feel free to move on – and don't guilt yourself about it. Remember, a person is not just a list of their likes and dislikes; there's such a thing as chemistry. Just because this one person fit your requirements does not mean that they're the only one who ever will, or that you won't find love with someone a little outside your box. Knowing what you want is a good basic place to start, but it's always best to allow yourself a little wiggle room.

It can be hard to let go of something we think we need, but consider: would you rather spend time trying to make something work because you think you should, or find the person with whom it's not work at all?

As Christmas approaches, many singles have reservations about…well, being single. Family members and friends mean well, but many times their suggestions, advice and questions about your love life seem hurtful or intrusive.

It’s important to remember that your relationship status does not define who you are. Many people in relationships aren’t more satisfied with their lives than singles…it’s all about perspective and making choices that resonate with you. Your happiness isn’t dependent on having a significant other in your life, despite the romantic comedies that make us believe this is what's missing. Happiness is about knowing what fulfills you. Only you can decide this for yourself and make it happen.

In the spirit of Christmas and giving to others, remember to include yourself on your list. That’s right: this is the time of year to remember everything you’ve accomplished so far, and what you want to accomplish in the future. It’s time to celebrate who you are, regardless of your relationship status. It’s also time to be thankful for all of the people in your life, including those bad dates or nosy Aunt Patty, who are teaching you all the time about what you do and don’t want in your life.

The holidays are about celebrating the people who are in our lives, not the people who we hope to meet in the future. They are about celebrating the end of 2010 and all that we’ve accomplished, and looking forward to new experiences 2011 will bring. They are about celebrating who we really are: people who are making choices every day to live happier, more fulfilling lives. And that’s worth celebrating.

Happy holidays!

There’s no doubt about it: the holidays can make you do things that you might not entertain at other times of the year. Office parties are no exception. They offer a great release from the stress of work, a chance to just hang and have fun. But alcohol and co-workers sometimes don’t mix.

So what happens if you hook up with a co-worker in the heat of the moment, after a few *censored*tails at the office holiday party? Should you just avoid eye contact for a couple of weeks, waiting for the whole thing to fade away into a distant memory? Or should you come clean on a secret crush you’ve been harboring?

When it comes to co-workers, it’s best to keep work and play separate. Even if you are a colleague with your object of affection rather than a subordinate or supervisor, things can get messy when you see the person on a regular basis. But if you’ve already crossed that line and are wondering what to do, there are a few things I suggest to make things bearable.

First, don’t beat yourself up. Maybe you didn’t want to lead your co-worker on, but now he has a mad crush on you since your hook-up. Instead of avoiding the breakroom, have a conversation with him. Tell him up front that you’re not interested in a relationship. Sure, it might be uncomfortable for a few days, but better this than making excuses and avoiding him for an indefinite period of time.

If you’re harboring a secret crush and despite hooking up, you aren’t sure if he feels the same way, it’s time to have an honest conversation. If you want a relationship, let him know, but be prepared that he might not feel the same way. Don’t play coy…if you try to act like it’s no big deal, you’ll hurt yourself in the long-run. Own up to your feelings, it’s ok to have them.

Most notably, if your job is important to you and your company has guidelines about who you can and can’t date, it’s best to follow them. You don’t want to risk your chances of being promoted, or worse, being let go. Leave your hook-up as a one-time occurrence and move on, keeping your love life out of the office.

Online dating - everyone's doing it, just ask any young single person. Here's 10 reasons to give online dating ago!

1. 70% of singles looking online admit to seeking a life long and genuine mate - better stats than trying your luck at a seedy wine bar.
2. You can meet new men and women at anytime of the day or night because online dating sites are open 24/7. Furthermore, you can go online dating in your pajamas.
3. Contacting other daters are quick and to the point thanks to web cam and IM chat functionality.
4. The convenience of choosing your date from dating profiles allows you to easily make a short list of potential mates without having to waste time and effort going on blind dates.
5. Even if you don't find instant chemistry online at first, there is the potential to meet new friends who share common interests which can also open doors to become part of a new network of people.
6. Most people have been associated with someone who met their mate on the Internet, so there's every possibility you might be next.
7. Fear of rejection is not as evident compared to offline scenarios. Singles chatting online are usually aware of the rules that apply with online personals meaning nobody is obligated to date someone simply because communication has occurred.
8. Online dating sites are not always about finding your soul mate. Other reasons to try online dating is so people can form interest groups and share activities allowing you to network with people which can sometimes lead to meeting someone special.
9. Online dating is a very inexpensive alternative to traditional dating options. You need not have to find new clothes to wear or spruce up to meet new people. No one will know what you're wearing - unless you want them to.
10. Online dating is a brilliant way to overcome shyness and insecurities, take things at your own speed.

Whether you are searching for something serious, a fling or for a new network of friends, Internet dating provides a gateway to meet new people outside of your hometown venues. Try and imagine the opportunities that await, there's nothing to lose so give online dating ago, it works!

Matt Fuller provides article services for the online dating industry. Matt's dating and relationship articles are available for free for your information and research.

In a recession, it's important to live within your means. The subway replaces expensive cab rides. Trips to Payless replace trips to Macy's and Bloomingdale's. Ordering in replaces dinners out.

But did you know that the recession is also causing many people to love within their means? Daters are becoming less picky about their relationships, and things that once seemed like deal breakers and nonnegotiable needs are being reconsidered. In the wake of the recession, LoveGeist researchers found that UK daters are moving away from a romantic, fairytale vision of love towards a more realistic frame of mind. As security becomes a priority, idealism is falling by the wayside, and daters no longer believe that Mr. or Mrs. Right will be a "perfect" match.

When asked if they have become increasingly fussy in the search for a long-term partner, 47% of respondents said "Yes," but an examination of the data shows that the opposite is more likely true. "Security," according to the Report, "shared values, and sexual/personal compatibility outrank physical attractiveness in terms of what daters consider to be the most important traits when looking for love," and more than 70% agree that their views on what makes a perfect partner have changed as they have aged ad matured.

Other data confirms this hypothesis:

• 1 in 10 people surveyed reported splitting up with a former partner because their expectations of them were too high (which indicates that many daters are beginning to adopt a more realistic approach to relationships).
• More than 80% of daters said that they would prefer a considerate expression of love to an extravagant one (though romance is still important, especially to older generations).
• Daters are no longer waiting for the perfect match to stumble into their lives - they are willing to actively make changes in their lives to facilitate finding love. Less than 15% said they would not make any changes at all, while 30% said they would change how much of a priority their career is, 40% would alter the amount of time they spend at work, and almost half were willing to relocate.

LoveGeist's findings also suggest that singles in the UK are learning vital lessons from previous relationships that are influencing their current less idealistic approach to dating. "Rather than compromising and experiencing the same problems time and time again," says the Report, "there is a renewed sense of practicality. Some say they have learned to expect less from a partner, to tolerate the odd imperfection, some to share more and to be more adaptable with regard to their values. And a third want to be more open-minded in the future."

Relationship expert Kate Taylor sums up the new realistic approach to romance best:

"I think the age of austerity has encouraged us to look for love, and to keep love going. When life is easy, we can be tempted to dream of the IDEAL partner, the perfect person who'll never get on our nerves and who will always say the right thing. But when times are tough, we appreciate just having someone there to share the load. The bad economy is awful, but wonderful for love.... A combined struggle is marvellous for making you overlook faults and focus on what's important."

For more information on this popular dating site for singles in the United Kingdom you can read our Match.com UK review.