Dating

Everyone knows that mutual respect is desired, appreciated, even required when it comes to choosing a partner. However, while we can likely identify respect (or a lack thereof) as it applies to us, we might not always remember the many little ways we can display respect for our partner. Here are just a few:

The easiest way to demonstrate respect for others is simply to listen to what they have to say - and remember it. No, you don’t have to become a walking encyclopedia of every bit of trivia your date imparts, but you should aim for at least a passing grade if you were to be given a pop quiz on the evening’s conversation. This goes double if the trivia in question is an answer to a question you asked; asking a question and not listening to the answer proves you’re not really interested in what your date has to say.

Again, you don’t have to remember every tiny scrap of information; however, remembering a small detail and bringing it up later is a considerate move that goes a long way. Maybe on the second date, you bring a movie you both had said you were interested in seeing. Maybe you heard their cat was sick, so you text them the next day to ask how the cat is doing. There’s no need to go overboard with “inside jokes” or the recollection of facts and figures, but a small gesture is a good way to indicate that your date left a big impression.

Basic common courtesy never goes out of style - and it’s gender-neutral. Opening doors, offering to grab drinks for the two of you, asking about their day before starting in on yours - these are simple manners, but when you’re stressed on on a first or second date, they might be actions that slip your mind. Keeping your mind where it should be - focused on your date - can actually help calm your nerves, as well.

Not only should you listen to your date’s responses - you should respect them, as well. For example, if they say they don’t like a certain food, don’t order it anyway and tell them they’ll “love it this way.” If they tell you what their favorite movie is, don’t mock their choice. No, you don’t have to agree all the time, but over-the-top criticism - or, worse, outright ignoring their opinions - should be a red flag to you as well as to them.

Showing basic respect is likely something that’s already ingrained in your behavior. However, when the pressure mounts on a first date, it can be helpful to remember that making a good impression can be as simple as displaying good manners and common courtesy. Focusing on such basic qualities as respect, instead of stressing about, say, your hair, directs your energy in a far more useful direction.

When it comes to dating with an age difference, there's usually only one story told: men love younger women, and women love older men.

Yeah, it's true - some men do want to date younger women and some women do only go for older men - but it's not the full story, and it's time we recognized that there's more to May-December dating than one unscientific-but-still-predominant view.

AYI.com (Are You Interested?), a dating service that uses Facebook to pair people based on interests, has pulled data from its 68 million downloads and 20 million Facebook profiles to analyze what it takes to make a successful match. Their experiment focused in on the 1 million recommended pairings in a specific population of 35,942 users ages 30 to 49.

AYI's most surprising finding was this: their female subscribers were five times more likely to show interest in men who were five years their junior than men who were five years older. The old narrative is outdated and inaccurate.

Well, sort of. Men do still like dating younger women, as the AYI study proved. Among the 26,434 men between the ages of 30 and 49 who were studied, 42% said they wouldn't even consider dating a woman if she was older than them. If, however, an older woman contacted them first, they admitted they wouldn't necessarily turn her down. AYI's data shows that a man is only 22% less likely to respond to an older woman than to a younger woman if she is the one who initiates contact.

What gives, guys? If you think older women are an easy target with no other options - and it doesn't require any preliminary effort on your part - you'll go for it, but otherwise you won't go anywhere near them? That doesn't sound like the progressive society I like to think I live in.

There are a few theories that explain why AYI's study turned up its findings. Once upon a time, AYI analysts think, young women marrying older men had an appeal based on wealth. While there are still plenty of women who like the idea of marrying for money, younger women are now inundated with requests from older men on dating sites and the myth of the Sugar Daddy is never as glamourous as it seems.

A 2008 study published in the journal Psychology of Women Quarterly found that women who are 10 or more years older than their partner are more satisfied and more committed to their relationships than women who are the same age or younger than their partners. So guys...don't limit yourself to younger women, and girls...don't be afraid of dating younger men.

Even though we join online dating sites to meet other people, a lot of the ‘prep work’ involved has to do with self-reflection. You have to figure out who you are in order to write about yourself well. You have to figure out what you really want in order to maximize the efficacy of your searches. And if something isn’t working for you, you can often help yourself by asking yourself tough questions.

However, such introspection can become problematic when actual outside people enter the picture, such as on the first date. Chances are, you’re still worried about yourself: the impression you’re making, how much to talk about your past, whether you have anything interesting to talk about if there’s a lull in the conversation. Plus, there are the additional nerves associated with any first date. So guess what’s probably not at the forefront of your mind?

Your date. Or more specifically, what your date is saying.

It can be easy to forget to switch the focus from ourselves to our potential match, but it’s vital to the health and potential success of the date itself. Consider: if you’re focused on your match, you’re probably less nervous, because you’re paying attention to what they have to say instead of whatever you’re obsessing about. As you relax, you’re probably more natural and attractive.

When you’re actually paying attention to the conversation, it’s much easier to have a back-and-forth. You aren’t casting about in your mind for conversation topics as much, because you’re simply following the natural flow of the conversation. There are fewer awkward silences. And since you’re focused on your date, it’s much easier to get a sense of whether you’re actually compatible. When you’re wrapped up in your head, your judgment is much more suspect.

Finally, there’s the most basic of reasons to focus on your date: it’s polite and respectful. Your date is probably just as nervous as you are; they’ve probably gone over conversation topics in their own head too. Giving each other the respect you both deserve is the perfect way to get a relationship going on the right foot.

So next time you go on a first date, don’t fret too much about your hair or the million tiny what-ifs that could go wrong. Instead, focus on listening and responding to your date - it’s the simplest, and best, way to get the ball rolling.

When it comes to the first date, one phrase that might leap to mind is “dress to impress.” However, while we all want to make a great first impression, perhaps literally “impressing” isn’t the goal we want to strive for. It may seem a small, even insignificant difference to quibble over, but let’s consider what images the two words conjure up, and the differences between them.

What do we think about when we think about impressing someone? We’d definitely want to be dressed nicely, perhaps even a little glamorous or formal. As for the venue, it might be something very fancy - a nice restaurant, the opera - or maybe something very dramatic, like fantastic seats to a rock concert or baseball game. Maybe it’s not something necessarily expensive, but creative, like an elaborate picnic in the most picturesque locale. Time, money - either way, something has been spent to create a dazzling effect.

Now, obviously, not many people are going to be going quite that extreme on their first date. However, the mindset can still reflect the ideal. Maybe they’re pushing their budget a little, or acting slightly different in an effort to appear worldly. The problem with this approach is two-fold: first, they’re not truly being themselves, and thus making it more difficult to determine their compatibility with their date. Secondly, when someone is focused on impressing their date, they’re probably not spending as much effort actually listening to their date. A real connection becomes even harder to achieve.

But what about a good first impression? What might we think of then? Well, we tend to think of a more realistic image, but one that is probably more cleaned-up and polite. You want to look good, but not necessarily glamorous or over-the-top. You’re putting your “best face forward,” but it’s still yours, not that of someone you’re striving to be. The venue is less important, because we tend to think of a person as making a first impression, not staging an impressive event. And because you might subconsciously be more aware of your manners, you might even be a better listener and more conscientious date than usual.

It’s quite possible that your personal impressions of the two phrases are quite different; however, it doesn’t hurt to ask yourself what imagery you do have in your head when you prepare for a first date. Are you subconsciously trying to impress, or make a good first impression? Perhaps thinking it over might make the difference between a night of unnecessary stress and pressure, and one in which you can relax and focus on making a connection.

Have you seen this video on what it will be like to date with Google Glass yet?

Yes, it's funny. Yes, it's over the top. But you've gotta admit that it makes you wonder...

Will the introduction of Google Glass actually have an impact on your love life? Would you be willing to date someone who wore Google Glass on a date? In a recent NBC News article, Rosa Golijan decided to give it a try.

First, the basics: Google Glass is a head-mounted computer with a camera, microphone, bone-conducting speaker, and a whole bunch of sensors. It connects to the Internet using a Wi-Fi network or by tethering to a smartphone. It's capable of pretty much everything your smartphone is: it can take pictures, record video, initiate video chats, send messages, search Google, and more.

Golijan jumped wholeheartedly into her experiment, wearing Google Glass for most of her waking hours. Her first impressions were positive. "It's difficult to imagine that bringing technology closer - to one's face - could actually help get it out of the way," she writes, "but that's what happens with Glass. It's tempered my smartphone addiction and reduced the amount of time I spend staring at a screen. I've even rediscovered the fine art of making eye contact with people."

So far, so good.

When she started wearing Google Glass in public, Golijan found that the attention it drew meant wider social possibilities. "Glass doesn't break the ice, it completely melts it," Juan Pablo Risso, a 32-year-old Glass owner, told NBC. At the moment, Google Glass is the ultimate conversation starter.

And that's where things got a little trickier for Golijan. One recent date took it well, but the interruptions from curious strangers could easily have sent the date south with a less understanding partner. Another date didn't enjoy the experience, demanding that she not start talking to anyone else until they'd gotten a drink.

Whitney Casey, a relationship expert for Match.com, says the one rule you need to follow when it comes to Glass and dates is simple: "Don't wear it." Sherrie Schneider, dating coach and co-author of "The Rules," agrees, at least on the first date. "You need to treat Google Glass like any special issue on a first date," she says. "You don't eat meat. You're a Republican. You had breast cancer. Google Glass."

Golijan isn't ready to give up on dating with Google Glass yet, though she does think it's important to follow a few guidelines:

• Don't be rude to strangers inquiring about Glass. It's just as bad as being rude to a server at a restaurant.
• Monitor your date's comfort level with Glass and adjust accordingly.
• Consider taking it off at some point - there's no reason to view your whole dating life through Google-colored glasses.

There are a lot of conflicting rules floating around about texting and dating - no wonder people find it so confusing. Do you text right away to show you're interested, or do you wait to show you're not so available? The answer is not always clear, so what should you do?

According to a recent study by Flirt.com, we shouldn't sweat it so much - and we shouldn't stick to the rules! Men and women view texting practices differently. And apparently, the men are much more open to the women they date reaching out to them.

Forty-nine percent of men and 39% of women will text a date the next day to let him/her know they had a nice time. However, 20% of women are still sticking to the old adage of waiting for him to text first (compared to only 5% of the guys).

Even though we don't have to worry about the three-day waiting period to call someone back, the study found it is good to be concerned about how frequently you're texting your date. Texting habits mean different things to each gender. For the women, if a guy sends more than ten texts a day she considers it to be creepy. Men on the other hand are more than happy to have her text - with almost half saying she should text as much as she wants.

Are you worried about looking too available? There's no need, ladies. A whopping 82% of men surveyed said they would be happy if after they suggested a date a woman let him know she was available to go out any night that week. Not so for the ladies. Thirty-eight percent of women said they'd be freaked out if a man made himself too available.

And how do you sign off? Is it too risky to add an "xo" to the end of a text, maybe as a flirtation? According to the study, 48% of men and 41% of women aren't afraid of signing off with a little kiss. But steer clear of being too "cutesy." Almost 25% of men think that smiley faces are childish.

And what about the biggest complication when it comes to texting - whether or not you should break up with someone over text? Apparently women are a little more cold-hearted. Seventeen percent of them would break up with someone over text, compared to just 13% of men.

Flirt.com surveyed over 2,000 of its members for the study.