Impressions and Impressing
- Sunday, July 28 2013 @ 10:34 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 900
When it comes to the first date, one phrase that might leap to mind is “dress to impress.” However, while we all want to make a great first impression, perhaps literally “impressing” isn’t the goal we want to strive for. It may seem a small, even insignificant difference to quibble over, but let’s consider what images the two words conjure up, and the differences between them.
What do we think about when we think about impressing someone? We’d definitely want to be dressed nicely, perhaps even a little glamorous or formal. As for the venue, it might be something very fancy - a nice restaurant, the opera - or maybe something very dramatic, like fantastic seats to a rock concert or baseball game. Maybe it’s not something necessarily expensive, but creative, like an elaborate picnic in the most picturesque locale. Time, money - either way, something has been spent to create a dazzling effect.
Now, obviously, not many people are going to be going quite that extreme on their first date. However, the mindset can still reflect the ideal. Maybe they’re pushing their budget a little, or acting slightly different in an effort to appear worldly. The problem with this approach is two-fold: first, they’re not truly being themselves, and thus making it more difficult to determine their compatibility with their date. Secondly, when someone is focused on impressing their date, they’re probably not spending as much effort actually listening to their date. A real connection becomes even harder to achieve.
But what about a good first impression? What might we think of then? Well, we tend to think of a more realistic image, but one that is probably more cleaned-up and polite. You want to look good, but not necessarily glamorous or over-the-top. You’re putting your “best face forward,” but it’s still yours, not that of someone you’re striving to be. The venue is less important, because we tend to think of a person as making a first impression, not staging an impressive event. And because you might subconsciously be more aware of your manners, you might even be a better listener and more conscientious date than usual.
It’s quite possible that your personal impressions of the two phrases are quite different; however, it doesn’t hurt to ask yourself what imagery you do have in your head when you prepare for a first date. Are you subconsciously trying to impress, or make a good first impression? Perhaps thinking it over might make the difference between a night of unnecessary stress and pressure, and one in which you can relax and focus on making a connection.
What do we think about when we think about impressing someone? We’d definitely want to be dressed nicely, perhaps even a little glamorous or formal. As for the venue, it might be something very fancy - a nice restaurant, the opera - or maybe something very dramatic, like fantastic seats to a rock concert or baseball game. Maybe it’s not something necessarily expensive, but creative, like an elaborate picnic in the most picturesque locale. Time, money - either way, something has been spent to create a dazzling effect.
Now, obviously, not many people are going to be going quite that extreme on their first date. However, the mindset can still reflect the ideal. Maybe they’re pushing their budget a little, or acting slightly different in an effort to appear worldly. The problem with this approach is two-fold: first, they’re not truly being themselves, and thus making it more difficult to determine their compatibility with their date. Secondly, when someone is focused on impressing their date, they’re probably not spending as much effort actually listening to their date. A real connection becomes even harder to achieve.
But what about a good first impression? What might we think of then? Well, we tend to think of a more realistic image, but one that is probably more cleaned-up and polite. You want to look good, but not necessarily glamorous or over-the-top. You’re putting your “best face forward,” but it’s still yours, not that of someone you’re striving to be. The venue is less important, because we tend to think of a person as making a first impression, not staging an impressive event. And because you might subconsciously be more aware of your manners, you might even be a better listener and more conscientious date than usual.
It’s quite possible that your personal impressions of the two phrases are quite different; however, it doesn’t hurt to ask yourself what imagery you do have in your head when you prepare for a first date. Are you subconsciously trying to impress, or make a good first impression? Perhaps thinking it over might make the difference between a night of unnecessary stress and pressure, and one in which you can relax and focus on making a connection.
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