Dating

Let’s face it: sometimes you’d rather go to the dentist than go on another date, especially if you’ve been online dating and meeting a ton of people. It can be exhausting, because not everyone is going to be right for you. In fact, the vast majority of romantic candidates aren’t going to make it past a few dates.

But sometimes dating can go horribly wrong. Let’s say you meet a man, and he says something offensive, or he is on his phone for half the date instead of talking to you, or he keeps flirting with your waitress instead of you. Do you make an excuse and take off? Do you sneak out through the bathroom? Do you throw your glass of wine in his face?

First, it’s important to have a little perspective, especially if you’re holding a glass of wine that you’re tempted to throw. Is he really that awful, or are you just not a good fit? Before you go storming out, it’s important to give it a real chance. There’s a high potential for misunderstanding when two people don’t know each other.

So how do you make the best of a bad date? Here are four tips:

Don’t pre-judge. If you decide within two minutes that your date isn’t right for you, don’t just mentally check out or make an excuse to leave. Engage a little more. Give it a real chance. How many friends do you have where it took time to get to know them? Each person is different, and those who are good “daters” might not be great partners. Give every date the benefit of the doubt.

Don't be a jerk. I was on a date with a man who confided in me that if a date wasn’t going well, he’d make an excuse, head for the bathroom, and make a hasty exit – leaving her with the bill! Not only was this rude, but it totally ruined any chance of our connecting. Consider how you like being treated and extend the same kindness to others.

Switch up the venue. Are you bored to tears over coffee? Instead of just hanging around for another twenty minutes until you make an excuse to leave, suggest you take a walk. Try a different setting and see if it helps stir things up.

Cut it short with respect. Not everyone is going to be right for you. But if you feel that your date is hopelessly angry or rude or is otherwise making you uncomfortable, then try an honest approach. Let him know that you’re just not a fit, and politely excuse yourself. Just make sure it isn’t within the first ten minutes of the date – that you’ve really given things a chance.

Olympic athlete and heartthrob Ryan Lochte has been quoted saying he’s never had a one-night stand (even while people were hot and heavy on Tinder in Olympic Village). And he’s not alone. Most Americans – 53% - claim they’ve never had a one-night stand.

A new study by Dating Advice found that while most Americans haven’t participated in this type of casual sexual encounter, men were more likely to have participated than women. Sixty-four percent of women said they’ve never had a one-nighter compared to only 41% of men in Lochte’s camp, which means that traditional gender roles when it comes to sexuality are still at play in American society.

Age was a factor in the study. Americans aged 18 to 24 had a 25 percent higher likelihood of saying they’d never had a one-night stand than those aged 25 to 34. The age difference makes sense, as there might be more life experience or opportunities for casual encounters as you get older and break away from your college relationship, opting instead for clubs and bars with other singles.

Not surprisingly, those who are married are also least likely to have had a one-night stand, with 56% saying they had never. On the other hand, only 41% of divorcees have not had one-night stands, compared to 50% of singles who have never been married.

There seems to be a distinction between straight and gay Americans, with only 32% of gay people saying they’d never had a one-night stand compared to 54% of straight people. As for race, 45% of African Americans and 47% of Latinos have admitted to never having a one-night stand compared to 74% of Asians.

It seems there isn’t much difference among income earners, with about the same percentage of people earning less than $25,000 a year saying they’ve never had a one-night stand compared to those earning $125,000 or more at 56% and 55% respectively. However, those earning in the median range from $75,000-$99,000 were the most likely to have had a one-night stand, with only 49% saying they hadn’t.

As expected, the South and Midwest are more conservative, with 54% of their residents saying they’d never had a one-night stand compared to the Northeast at 50% and the West at 51%.

The study surveyed 1,080 respondents over the course of three weeks, balancing responses by age, gender, income, race, sexuality and other factors in order to accurately represent the U.S. population.

Facebook has been in the online dating game for a while, albeit subtly. Many popular mobile dating apps use your Facebook networks to help you meet new singles, or at the very least, verify you are who you say you are. For instance, Tinder sets up your account using information from Facebook, even though it is GPS-based matching. So it only makes sense that Facebook would cut to the chase and see if they could get people to interact directly through their site instead of through third-party apps.

Turns out, Facebook is doing this by making user profiles more interactive.

The “relationship status” option of each user’s Facebook profile has always sparked a little bit of controversy becasue people use it to hurt their beloved as well as to share information with friends. After all, how many people announce their status over Facebook before actually talking to their boyfriend/ girlfriend, and how many use it as a weapon to pick a fight? Sometimes “it’s complicated” can bring about a barrage of questions that you don’t want to answer.

So it’s no wonder the new “ask” feature on Facebook makes many people feel even more uncomfortable. Ask allows you to ask another person what their relationship status is if they have chosen not to include it in their profile.

If you’re one of those Facebook users that prefers to keep this information to yourself, you are given the option of sending the “asker” a message or letting them know from the usual drop-down box choices whether you’re single, in a relationship, separated, in a domestic partnership, etc.

While this might seem to some a good way to strike up a conversation with someone who interests you on Facebook, it might seem to others to feel a little bit creepy. If you decide to ask someone about her relationship status, you must also explain why, which can be humbling. A little pop-up box displays when you click the “ask” button so that you can explain yourself.

In addition to asking about someone’s relationship status, you can also ask him about where he lives, what his job is, and other basic profile information.

The upside of all of this prying? Users have to be friends on Facebook before they can use the “ask” feature, so you can’t approach a total stranger. Also, there is no anonymity – the person being asked will see that it is you who is asking (along with your profile).

So maybe it’s better to take an old-school approach: just send the object of your affection a Facebook message, asking her out on a date.

To find out how to use this site to find dates you can read our Facebook review.

When it comes to choosing that perfect partner, some people are more flexible than others. We all have a dealbreaker or two, but some folks are straight-up close-minded about their love lives. For their latest study, Zoosk decided to identify where the most open-minded daters in America live. For the purposes of the study, “open-mindedness” refered specifically to how willing the person is to date someone different from himself or herself.

After using “advanced data technology” to analyze nearly 1,000,000 “deep conversations” (defined as communications that included two or more exchanged messages) between users, Zoosk handed the info over to their “brilliant data nerds” for interpretation. The top 10 most open-minded cities for dating are:

1. Las Vegas, Nevada
2. Detroit, Michigan
3. Columbus, Ohio
4. Sacramento, California
5. San Antonio, Texas
6. Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
7. Indianapolis, Indiana
8. Jacksonville, Florida
9. Nashville, Tennessee
10. Memphis, Tennessee

And the top 10 least open-minded cities for dating are:

1. Raleigh, North Carolina
2. San Jose, California
3. Birmingham, Alabama
4. Richmond, Virginia
5. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
6. Washington DC
7. San Diego, California
8. Atlanta, Georgia
9. Riverside, California
10. Orlando, Florida

Some cities that didn't score well for open-mindedness overall also ranked on specific dating criteria:

• The most open-minded daters when it comes to height are found in New Orleans. The least open-minded are in Salt Lake City, UT and Richmond, VA.
• When it comes to age, the most open-minded men are located in Seattle and the most open-minded women live in Indianapolis. The least open-minded men and women are found in Raleigh, NC and Richmond, VA.
• Prior marriages are looked down upon in Hartford, CT and Cincinnati, OH, but daters in Salt Lake City and Vegas are unlikely to care about the ups and downs of your marital history.
• Religion isn’t a big deal in California, where men in San Francisco and women in San Jose were rated the most open-minded. In Alabama, on the other hand, faith is extremely important. Birmingham is the most close-minded city for both men and women.
• They like ‘em educated in North Carolina and California. Men and women who call Raleigh and San Jose home are the least flexible about college degrees. In Salt Lake City, on the other hand, college degrees aren't deal breakers for either men or women.
• Body conscious? Then move to San Antonio or Oklahoma City, where citizens are most open-minded about body type. Steer clear of Louisville, KY, the least body type-tolerant city in the country, unless you're super fit.
• Beware of your vices. Smoking is most acceptable in Columbus, OH and Buffalo, NY and least acceptable in Miami and San Jose. Drinking is most acceptable in Providence, RI and least acceptable in San Jose in Salt Lake City.

See the infographic here. To find out more about the dating site which brought us these statistics you can read our Zoosk review.

Professional online dating assistance has been around almost as long as online dating. For a fee, you can have someone write or “spruce up” your profile, craft email messages, or help you get more responses for your outreach efforts.

Now, a company called Personal Dating Assistants is taking this business to a whole new level. Men are hiring professional PUAs (pick-up artists) like the team at PDA to help write their online dating profiles and email messages. So if you’re a woman on sites like OkCupid or dating apps like Tinder, that cute guy might not be as clever as you think. A professional could have written that flirtatious email from your online match to help him get laid.

Personal Dating Assistants has been making headlines around the web for offering this new service, but I’m sure they aren’t the only ones marketing PUA business. The PDA team helps daters choose photos, ghostwrite messages, and even scout for attractive women, depending on their physical preferences (i.e. blondes or brunettes?).

The company website explains it like this: “Dating online for men is more than just a numbers game. Locating, and attracting beautiful women is also a fiercely competitive sport, and requires a significant time commitment if you want real results. To win dates regularly, a typical approach isn’t gonna cut it.  For that, you need an industrial strength solution."

This is where PDA comes in, promising to “play the online dating game.” They offer to spruce up your profile and converse with matches (“a la Cyrano de Bergerac”) until the object of your affection discloses her contact information.

The service boasts a high response rate for their creative efforts, but it’s not cheap. Packages range from $380 per month (“Weekend Casanova”) to $1520 per month (“International Playboy”). The company backs its efforts by stating on the site: "After our pimping process, you will be amongst the top tier of men online for response rate %, standing out amid the crowds of commoners.”

The appeal to men is tempting, if for no other reason than they are tired of sending out a disproportionate number of emails to women on online dating sites. This could save them a lot of time and trouble. On the other hand, women aren’t really getting a fair deal. After all, they might think they’re chatting with a charming, likeable and creative guy, but then what happens when they meet in person? And will this be yet another hurdle for women to jump in the online dating game, discerning who is real and who might just be using a PUA service to lure them in?

Dating takes time and requires effort. Cheating the system won’t work in the long run, so guys – I suggest saving your money and using it for your dates.

Most of us know about dating apps like Tinder that can help you meet people. But what if you need help picking out a good restaurant to meet a date, or what line should you use to approach a woman at a bar? Don’t worry, there are apps for those things, too.

Apps can give you a wealth of creative ideas for everything from where to go on a first date to how to pick out a good wine. An app can be a lifesaver if you get lost on your way to someplace new, or if you need last-minute tickets to a concert. It can also be a good source for discounts, since dating can get expensive.

Following are some apps you must download today to help your dating life – just be sure to put your phone away once you’re on the date: