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Communicate too much with your partner

Flower Power

I have been going out with this guy for a few months now. We had sex pretty much right away and became exclusive to each other soon after.

My boyfriend believes in being a strong communicator. He has had 2 bad past relationships and doesn't want to make the same mistakes as before. This would include things like allowing himself being used and ignoring red flags.

We have talked a lot about our past relationships but in this past week I have started to wonder if we are sharing to much. He has mentioned to me a number of things he doesn't like that I have done but he also says he doesn't want me to change because of him. I understand that we all need to change a bit in a relationship to accommodate the other person. What he mentioned also seem to be insecurities from past relationships. I have never lied to him and I am not sure if I like where this is going.

I am getting worried. I have been hurt in the past and I don't want to invest to much in a relationship that is going to fail. I told him the other day that I really care for him but I am now under the impression that he doesn't want to commit anymore than he already has. I am feeling anxiety now because of this. I tend to really over think things and am wondering if I am doing it again now.

Should I relax and stop taking this relationship so seriously and just let things go where they may?

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Forum User
Registered: 2016/04/08
Posts: 10
That's what i call a "buffer relationship". Your boyfriend didn't recover after those past relationships, and still has some issues that needs to deal with before entering into a new relationship. If you think you can help him, good, but be prepared with a lot of patience and the chance that finally you might brake up. If you can't bear this, then is better if you left him deal with his own problems as best as he can. All "buffer relatonships" are made, so one of the parteners (who recently broke up) can rebuild his/her confidence and move on. That means that the other one, who really puts soul into a buffer, will finally end up with his/her heart broken.
Good Luck !

Status: offline


Forum User
Registered: 2016/10/04
Posts: 3
In your situation i want you to slow down your relationship process, that way you will feel better.
As you tell that you have been talking much lately, I want you to control your meetings with your partner, like not more than 3 days a week. That way you will have good time to think about your current relationship and you will not suffocate yourself like your previous relationships.

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