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Age gap - what's the big deal?

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AsianBeauties

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Registered: 2011/06/16
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It’s often said that everything is fair in love and war, so I say why not the age difference? Why do we try to create boundaries in love? Why do we raise eyebrows if people from different age groups or different backgrounds fall in love? Thoughts anyone?

athena

Anonymous
Quote by: AsianBeauties

It’s often said that everything is fair in love and war, so I say why not the age difference? Why do we try to create boundaries in love? Why do we raise eyebrows if people from different age groups or different backgrounds fall in love? Thoughts anyone?



Okay try this on for size:

My brother ... the sweet man he is ... I love him dearly. He was a widow at 39 because his wife committed suicide and she left him to take care of their 2 year old daughter. Two years later when my niece was 4 he met a gal who was 21 years old and just out of the Navy. She was so in love ...so she says with my brother. There was an 18 year age difference between him and this gal. I was 23 and it bothered me to deal with this age difference. They got married within a year or so of my meeting her. ...And after being married it was not long before they had their first child.

By the time my brother was 50 he and his 2nd wife were expecting their 4th child. They had moved three times and my brother was expected to live 180 miles away from his wife who wanted to live near her family. My brother worked in Connecticut for quite a few years and traveled 180 miles home on the weekends to be with his wife and kids up North. He had to be at work Monday mornings at 7:00 o’clock in Connecticut for which he drove all night long to get in on time to work. He did this reluctantly for many years. Finally he moved to New Hampshire without a job and became the custodian of their church. When my brother turned 63, his wife approached him and said she did not want to be married to him anymore- he was old! She had found a new man in her life in Boston and she was moving out with the last kid in tow. All the other siblings; young adults were in college or married. My brother was very heart broken and his youngest daughter wanted to remain with him. But my brother’s wife got custody until the child became of age. My brother was broken hearted but he was very nice to his ex-wife throughout the entire ordeal. She even proclaimed if it did not work out between her and the guy she was living with ... she would come back home. Even though I would be appalled to even to hearing her say that ... my brother would take her back.

Now this would be the one reason above all others that I think the age difference has some kind of implications of not working out. My sister-in-law was an immature brat that felt compelled to put my brother through a living hell to live near her parents. Well that’s fine because my brother went along with it. It was his choice to let her wear the pants in their relationship. But in the end he found someone that was his own age and they are living happily ever after.

To tell you the truth even though I was fuming about the last baby situation, I said nothing and I was happy for him ... but the Love Boat between he and his wife was rocky to say the least for years because she was immature daddy’s girl. I don’t dislike her but their marriage has always been about her. And that is a problem when one person is too weak to gain share the power in a marriage between two people.

I am not being one sided about this ... I am telling you the way it was. My brother loved his 1st wife and his 2nd wife very much. He loves all his children too. Now he has a 3rd chance for happiness ... and it’s a charm!

Athena



Able

Anonymous
That is some story.

My parents had a 20 year age gap. When they married she was 21 and he was 41 back in 1982. She worked in a bar that my Dad owned at the time. Apparently it was love at first sight. They have a happy marriage that did have it's ups and downs but they stuck with it and are still going strong 30+ years later.

My Mom never knew her Dad and I know my Grandma at the time wasn't happy since she was the same age as my Dad. It was a little weird growing up when I had new friends come over but other than that we were just a normal family.

I do have to say though that I am attracted to guys more my age. They can be a little older but no more than 5 years. Big Grin

Abby

Anonymous
Age does not matter as long as you love each other and have this common understanding. If you don’t have that maturity or patience it’s hard to get along even with people your age.

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Marsha

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Registered: 2015/03/29
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I too believe that age doesn't matter if man and woman love each other. We all have different experiences in life and a single bad experience doesn't mean that all relationships with age difference go bad.

LadyinRed

Anonymous
dont really matter if there is a true love and It’s often said that everything is fair in love and war,

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Mickey676

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Registered: 2016/04/08
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Age has nothing to do with love. But as so many people know already, most relationships with HUGE age gap happen usually because of diverse interests (social status, image, money etc). In very small percentage we can really talk about true love. And why not be sincere, if i would see an old man (70+) with a 20 yo girl i would hurl. It's disgusting for me. But something more on the 10-year gap is acceptable. Besides you must think about kids (if you plan to have some). Until they reach college, one of the parents will be very old or even worse, dead. And that is just major suckage.

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Awadh

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Registered: 2016/08/21
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doesnt matter .... you love him / her , dont loose him or youll regret it for a very long time .

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RatleyA

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Registered: 2016/09/03
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I don't think that age would make much of a difference as long as you are happy and learn to live with each other and understand each other properly.

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SamarthGodara

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Registered: 2016/10/04
Posts: 3
Hello,
You are very right, age has nothing to do with love.

But since everyone wants to live long with their partner, if there is a age difference in them then its possible that one of the partner can get old/die years before another person. Secondly, people of different ages have different experience and hobbies, so its more likely to get compatible with a person of same age.

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