What are your Dating Deal Breakers?

All of us have our own personal lists of dating “deal-breakers.” If you’ve been on a date recently, chances are you’ve encountered someone who did something you can’t accept – whether it’s spitting his food when he talked or grabbing your leg under the table – or maybe she lied about her weight in her online dating profile.

Some of these things are upsetting, and when they happen more than once, they can become dating deal-breakers.

Deal-breakers vary for all of us, but usually have to do with a lack of respect or consideration for the other person. We don’t like being lied to, talked down to, having our dates assume we are “DTF,” or any of an array of bad behaviors.

Details magazine recently polled fifteen women to find out their dating deal-breakers, and most shared a very specific experience that they are sure never to repeat. Sometimes, one person’s actions can leave such a bad impression that they become the benchmark for what you don’t want in a date.

It’s good to remind ourselves of what some typical deal breakers are when it comes to dating – so we can demand better behavior of our dates. It’s great to keep an open mind about everyone, but it’s also important to balance this with respecting yourself, your time, and your emotions.

Following are a few red flags to watch out for that you can consider dating deal-breakers:

She’s rude to waitstaff/ valet/ etc. If she refuses to tip the valet, gets testy with your waiter, or otherwise treats people in a rude or dismissive manner, this is a huge red flag. There’s no need to spend your time with someone who doesn’t see people as equals.

He leaves you hanging. Does he text you last minute only to cancel? Does he show up late every time you’re supposed to meet? Does he neglect to text or call? If he’s flaky, it’s not because he’s too busy, it’s because he is disrespectful on your time. Move on.

He is aggressive sexually. If he grabs your leg, your backside or other body part without your permission or against your wishes - or if he presses you for sexual favors when you’re not ready or not interested, walk away.

She talks a lot about the ex. Take the hint – if she’s not thinking about you on the date and talking about her ex, chances are she’s still hung up on him, even if her ex makes her angry. A date isn’t a therapy session, or a walk down memory lane. Time to go.

She is critical. Does she tell you what you should order, how you should dress, or what she expects? Nobody should be so controlling or demanding, especially when you’re just dating. If she makes you feel “less than,” run the other way – that’s a deal-breaker.