Making the First Move: It's Hard
- Tuesday, January 07 2014 @ 06:47 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 920
Dating would be so much easier if someone else always made the first move. Even better: if their thoughts and intentions were broadcast in a thought bubble above their heads, like a comic strip. We’d know if we should approach and strike up a conversation. We’d know if they were looking for nothing more than friendship. If they were single, we’d know if they were truly ready to move on past their last relationship. We’d know if they were interested in us, too.
Alas, we don’t have those powers of telepathy or projection. And even though women are approached by men more frequently than the inverse, there’s no hard and fast rule about who should be making the first move. Thus, we’re all forced to take that blind first step from time to time.
Here’s the thing: it’s hard to do. It can be wrenching and awkward to be approached by someone you’re not interested in and turn them down, but making the first move requires extra elements of courage and adrenaline. You’re willfully making yourself potentially uncomfortable. Regardless of your gender or orientation, it’s tough.
Thus, it’s no wonder we seek to avoid it as much as possible. By using online dating sites, we hope to dull the sting of rejection. In person, we search for tiny clues, even subconscious ones, that might give us insight before we approach. We get surly about having to make the first move, whether it’s our first time doing so or our fiftieth.
And it’s exactly for these reasons that we should all make the first move when we can. Because our potential matches feel the same fear and adrenaline, but one will have to win this game of chicken in order to ever meet and fall in love. Instead of keeping score with how many first-contact emails we’ve sent, we should continue to send them, because we should take responsibility for seeking out potential love. We shouldn’t miss out on opportunities because we’re pouting and think it should be our turn to be approached. After all, what if your potential match is in the same boat?
Making that first move can be hard, even in online dating. No one likes rejection. But perhaps recognizing that we all have those same basic emotions and fears will make it just a tiny bit easier to approach someone next time. There’s always the option of ignoring your opportunity, too, but the outcome is predictable: you’re passing up a chance at love.
Alas, we don’t have those powers of telepathy or projection. And even though women are approached by men more frequently than the inverse, there’s no hard and fast rule about who should be making the first move. Thus, we’re all forced to take that blind first step from time to time.
Here’s the thing: it’s hard to do. It can be wrenching and awkward to be approached by someone you’re not interested in and turn them down, but making the first move requires extra elements of courage and adrenaline. You’re willfully making yourself potentially uncomfortable. Regardless of your gender or orientation, it’s tough.
Thus, it’s no wonder we seek to avoid it as much as possible. By using online dating sites, we hope to dull the sting of rejection. In person, we search for tiny clues, even subconscious ones, that might give us insight before we approach. We get surly about having to make the first move, whether it’s our first time doing so or our fiftieth.
And it’s exactly for these reasons that we should all make the first move when we can. Because our potential matches feel the same fear and adrenaline, but one will have to win this game of chicken in order to ever meet and fall in love. Instead of keeping score with how many first-contact emails we’ve sent, we should continue to send them, because we should take responsibility for seeking out potential love. We shouldn’t miss out on opportunities because we’re pouting and think it should be our turn to be approached. After all, what if your potential match is in the same boat?
Making that first move can be hard, even in online dating. No one likes rejection. But perhaps recognizing that we all have those same basic emotions and fears will make it just a tiny bit easier to approach someone next time. There’s always the option of ignoring your opportunity, too, but the outcome is predictable: you’re passing up a chance at love.
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