How to Meet Men When You’re Out with the Girls

What is your usual Friday or Saturday night routine? Do you prefer going out with your girlfriends to a downtown bar or club? I have to admit, it was fun to hang out with my friends when I was single. We would laugh, swap stories, drink cocktails, and I felt like I was part of something cool, that my life was like a less expensive version of Sex and the City. Except for some reason, most guys didn't approach us.

Sometimes there were a few brave souls in my group who would venture over to strike up a conversation with a man and his friends at the bar, inviting them to come join us or swapping numbers or Facebook names with their mobiles. But most of the time, we sat in our little circle, looking around at the crowd and wondering who would approach.

This was not an effective way of meeting men, obviously. I never thought about how intimidating it might be for a single guy to approach a woman with her friends surrounding her. Friends can be a ruthless, judgmental bunch. Who would want to deal with that?

I learned over time that the most effective way to meet men when you're out with the girls is to make yourself more approachable. Following are a few tips on how to do this.

Separate yourself from the pack. I'm not saying you should ditch your friends, but it's a good idea to wean yourself away so you're not always in a huddle together. Go up to the bar by yourself and order a drink. Take a walk around the club by yourself. More men will be open to approaching you and striking up a conversation when you're alone as opposed to with your friends. It just makes things easier.

Put your phone down. Your phone acts as a friend when you're out, as well as a security blanket. Don't let it. Instead of checking your Facebook or Twitter accounts or texting your friends who are out doing other things, try putting your phone away in a pocket or purse. Think about it: would you approach someone whose face was buried in his phone? Probably not.

Make eye contact. This one is so important. Men look for signals to approach, and the number one signal that gives them the okay is eye contact. If you look away when they catch your eye, or turn back to your group of friends, it lets him know you're not interested. So if you are, meet his gaze. Give him a smile. Show him that it is okay to approach you. Or better yet, go up and talk to him.