How Long Should You Message Before Asking Someone Out?

Making a good online impression is really an art. Do you consider yourself an online Casanova? Are you able to email with matches endlessly, but are too intimidated to ask for a real date? Let's face it. You know that at some point, the online interaction needs to cease and you should meet face to face, because how else are you going to see if you're really a match?

Some people are talented wordsmiths while others might not feel so comfortable writing as they do speaking to someone in person or over the phone. When it comes to online dating, this shouldn't matter. Because the last thing you want to do is correspond with potential online dates for weeks or months at a time, when you should be meeting them as quickly as possible.

Many people have asked me how long they should email before asking somebody out over an online dating site. I recognize that you are strangers and it's good to feel comfortable with someone before agreeing to meet in person. However, if you wait too long, you are missing out on some great opportunities.

Technology has kicked online and mobile dating into high gear. You don't have to be at home in front of your computer in order to message or meet someone. Now, you can reach them in seconds via your phone - through instant chat, mobile apps, or even Facebook and Twitter. This means that people are meeting each other all the time. So what's to stop them from asking someone else out on a date?

It used to be acceptable for people to correspond over email for weeks at a time before actually meeting in person. But now, people don't have the patience or inclination. It's much better if you ask somebody out after one or two emails, three at the most. If you wait much longer, you risk that person meeting and dating someone else. You also risk forming an emotional attachment to somebody you might not have chemistry with in person.

I have met several men who were amazing over email - witty, charming, engaging - but then when I met them in person it was like they were complete strangers. We didn't banter, or they didn't appear to be interested in me, or they weren't the type of man I pictured as we were writing each other. In other words, I had high expectations based on a picture in my mind. If I would have met them sooner, before I became smitten with them over email, my disappointment over our real-life encounter wouldn't have been so devastating.

The bottom line: Ask him/her out, sooner rather than later. If you get on well in person, there's nothing stopping you from exchanging some amazing emails with each other later.