Embracing your Dating Life as a Single

Many of us are so focused on the destination, we rarely enjoy or appreciate the journey to get us there. I believe this is very true with dating. We're so focused on finding the right person - the one who will make us happy - that we tend to forget about what brings us happiness right now.

The journey is as important as finding that special someone. In all likelihood, you're not the same person you were five years ago. Your relationships help you evolve, whether or not they last for years or just a few short weeks. All of our dating experiences, no matter how brief, contribute to who we are right now.

Instead of focusing on the end goal of finding Mr. or Miss Right, I suggest to start 2014 on a different note. Embrace your single lifestyle instead.

It's time to look at dating from another perspective. We're so tied to the idea of our Mr. Perfect (maybe you've even made a wish list of everything you desire in a perfect partner) - that we don't really see the person in front of us when we're dating. Maybe he doesn't rock your world in terms of chemistry, or maybe he's not physically what you pictured but he makes you laugh, or maybe his career and education don't match yours but he's smart, sweet and kind. Are you going to agree to a second date, or just write him off because he's not what you imagined?

I suggest that if you're uncertain or indifferent about a first date, you agree to go on at least three dates with him/her before you decide he just isn't for you. The point is, sometimes our preconceived notions of who someone is clouds our judgment. You can't know someone after only one date - even the person you felt incredible chemistry with. It takes time, so be willing to spend it. Plus, you'll probably get to know some interesting people along the way.

Sometimes it's hard to put yourself out there, too. Meeting people requires effort - it requires you to get out of your house when sometimes you don't feel like it. Occasionally it might feel like another job. But it doesn't have to. A few tweaks to your priorities and schedule can help.

For instance, instead of lining up several coffee dates (snooze - don't you feel like you have the same old conversations?), try doing something you like instead. Want to squeeze in a workout? How about indoor rock climbing with your date? Or if you would like to take your dog to the park, suggest you walk dogs together. Just think of what you'd like to do anyway and incorporate it into a date. It makes the date more interesting and more fun, and helps motivate you to keep meeting more people.

Happy dating!