Dating Tips for Introverts

There’s something many people don’t want to admit to their dates, because they equate it with a character flaw or weakness; but the truth is, many daters are shy.

Introverts make up a significant portion of the population, and chances are, you will meet a few introverts if you date long enough. Unfortunately, online dating doesn’t lend itself to shy types. It requires real action, attention, and bravery. It pushes us outside of our comfort zones. (Actually, so does any kind of dating.) And it’s especially difficult for introverts to muster the courage to flirt or ask someone out.

But if you want to find love, it is necessary. Unless you think a hot stranger will appear at your doorstep to whisk you away, dating is an essential process to finding a long-term relationship, and it’s not easy. It’s better to face this challenge head-on than retreat in fear because you’re shy. Remember, many of your dates are going to be shy, too – so don’t feel like you’re the only one.

Following are some dating tips to help overcome your fears:

Widen your social circles. Instead of retreating into your safety zone of close friends and family, dating requires you to meet new people often – at least until you find someone you click with. If you feel uncomfortable online dating, try widening your social circles bit by bit. Get to know a new co-worker, or the person next to you in Zumba class. Make new friends within your circles, because they could introduce you to potential dates.

Rejection isn’t personal. But being shy prevents many people from connecting, because when you’re shy you hold back. You don’t want to put yourself out there for fear of rejection. But you have to also look at dating as trial and error – if someone doesn’t click with you, it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you. It means that there isn’t a connection. Don’t beat yourself up, and don’t stop. What counts is that you’re trying (like everyone else), so keep going.

Expand your comfort zone step by step. Instead of hiding behind your insecurities, it’s time to push yourself a little bit outside of your comfort zone. Take small steps. Accept invitations to parties and local singles events, and invite your outgoing friend to help introduce you to people. Strike up a conversation with the person in line next to you at Starbucks, even if you’re not interested. Every little bit of practice builds your confidence.

Use your assets. Not all of us are smooth talkers, or good flirts, or are good at introducing ourselves to strangers. Instead of listening to all the advice about how to approach people, try striking up a conversation by doing what you do better than most – actively listening! Then ask thoughtful questions. Getting to know someone takes you a lot further in dating than having a good pick-up line.

Happy dating!