Are You Settling?

Women place a lot of expectations on themselves when it comes to relationships. We invest emotionally, even when we aren't sure how he feels. We think that if we work hard to show a man how much we love him, how much we're willing to sacrifice, he's bound to love us back.

Life often doesn't work this way.

It's hard to be single, especially when you see your friends getting coupled up, one by one. Maybe you join a slew of online dating sites hoping to meet the right person, or maybe you decide the man you're dating could be the right one, so why not commit to him? Unfortunately, when you choose a partner based on a timeline instead of your own conviction and happiness the relationship will likely fail.

When women date, especially as we grow older, we can accumulate a sense of urgency (the biological clock) as well as a sense of fear (we'll never meet the Right One and we'll be alone forever). So our choices seem very limited and we panic. Maybe we reach out to the first available guy, or maybe we commit to a man who doesn't really care to be in a relationship, just to avoid being alone, or maybe because we think that's all we can have. But in reality - it's quite the opposite. More than half of the U.S. adult population is single. That's more than enough choice. The key is being patient enough to find the person you really want, and having the courage to communicate your needs.

Following are some tips to help you embrace dating instead of the fear of being alone:

Take it slow. When we feel chemistry with a man, it's hard to stop ourselves from jumping into a relationship headfirst. We want to fall in love! The problem is, we can't know someone after one or two dates, so we have no idea what he wants or who he is. How many times have men just disappeared after a great date? So even if you do feel chemistry, it's best to take things slow. Really get to know him, and take your time. There's no rush to the finish line when it comes to forming a lasting relationship.

Communicate your own needs. Are you the one who's always making plans or calling, only to have him cancel at the last minute? Do you find yourself wanting more every time you're together - more intimacy, more communication, more attention? Maybe it's time to stop chasing him, and move on to someone who does the pursuing. There's no use trying to move a relationship forward if you're the only one doing it. You deserve someone who feels the same way about you.

Don't settle when it comes to love.