Are You Making Time for Your Love Life?

Dating is a peculiar thing. Most of us hate doing it, because it feels like a waste of time when you go through the motions and still don’t meet anyone worth pursuing. It might feel pointless to join online dating sites or download apps, spend time messaging, and then when you meet potential dates, realize the match isn’t right less than ten minutes into your drinks.

But here’s the thing: dating is the process by which you get to the actual relationship. There’s just no other way.

Of course not everyone is going to be a good match, compatible, or even someone you find attractive. But this doesn’t mean you quit the process and then hope love stumbles on to your doorstep.

In fact, the opposite is true. The more time you put into dating, the more likely you are to develop a relationship. And I don’t just mean because you will be meeting a lot of people, but because you will be taking time out of your schedule to make finding a relationship a priority.

When you invest your time and effort into something, it might not yield results right away, but it creates an environment for success to happen. Take for instance, another type of life goal you have. Say you want to lose twenty pounds. Do you wait around, thinking that eventually you will lose this twenty pounds because fate will step in and help? Or do you join a gym, or a running group, or start an exercise regime?

You won’t yield results right away. As with any goal worth achieving, it will take time, effort, and some determination on your part. It won’t be easy.

It’s the same thing with work – you can’t expect a promotion without putting the time and effort into your job. When you focus your intentions on what you want, and you make time for it in your life, then you see real progress. Even if you don’t get that coveted promotion, you’ve gained skills that you can take to another, higher-paying or more prestigious job – because you have put in the time and effort. It’s never wasted.

Dating is the same. If you put in the time and effort, you will start to see results. But this means challenging yourself – going on more dates, giving more people a chance who you wouldn’t normally consider, thinking outside of your comfort zone. You have to stretch yourself to see what you are capable of.

As I say in my book Date Expectations, dating is a process to get to really know yourself and what you want. But you have to make the time for it.