Are You Attracted to your Friend’s Date?

Have you ever been on a double date? I'm a big fan of group dates, because it takes the pressure off. Some daters feel more comfortable and relaxed when they don't have to think of all the conversation like they do in a one-on-one date.

But what if you're on a double date with your friend and you find yourself drawn to your friend's date? In fact, you've barely heard two words your own date has muttered. You're too busy staring at your friend's guy - his beautiful green eyes and sexy mouth. The chemistry is there. You can sense he's interested in you, too. Should you pretend not to notice, or do you pull your friend aside and ask her if you can pursue him?

This can be an awkward moment, especially because you have history and a friendship with your friend and likely you're just meeting her date. There's no reason to think that things might work out between you, or that you would know how your friend might feel about it. One question to ask yourself is: how committed is your friend to her date? Is this the first time they are meeting, or have they been going out a while?

If this is a first date and your friend doesn't seem to be too interested, it might be a good idea to pull her aside and let her know how you feel. After all, chemistry is a powerful thing - and if you feel it, you want to see where it leads.

On the other hand, if your friend has been dating him a while or has expressed real interest, then you might be crossing a line by asking if she'd be okay with you dating him. They might not be together, but you don't want to interfere if she started dating him first. If it doesn't work out between them, or if he doesn't feel the same way about her, tell your friend before you start pursuing him.

Think of it this way: would you want your friend to run off with your date, even if you weren't sure if you were interested in him? Probably not, because you at least want a chance to see where it goes. And if you were interested in him initially, it can still feel like a betrayal if she doesn't consider your feelings along with her actions.

Bottom line: Talk to your friend before the date, and let each other know where you stand on this issue. If it is a first date for both of you, then be willing to let your friend pursue your date if you're not feeling it. But if she's been dating him a while? Try looking for someone else.