Are You a Serial Online Dater?

Sometimes when there are seemingly endless options available to us, making a decision can be difficult. Having too many choices can work against us - the more we have to choose from, the more overwhelmed we feel and the less informed choices we make.

Such is the case with online dating. While it brings us constant opportunities to meet new people, it can also give us a "grass is greener" complex. Here's how it works: No matter how great the person is sitting across from you, you think there might be somebody else who's even better. So you don't pursue this woman you find so attractive simply because you want to keep your options open. Instead, you go back to your online search and look for more matches to contact, more dates to pursue. You've become a serial online dater.

While this might make dating more exciting, you're making a sacrifice - you're actively choosing not to pursue or cultivate a relationship. Until you decide to stop your endless search and focus on the person sitting across from you, you'll never get to the relationship part of dating.

It's pretty easy to go online and search for dates, so it's no wonder some of us use online dating to avoid any type of commitment. Especially if you're heart is broken. Maybe you feel like the people you love cheat or abandon you, so why would your date be any different? The problem is, if you don't give someone a real chance, then you'll never find out if it can be different.

If you're a serial dater, you also might be thinking that you just haven't met "the one" yet - the elusive woman or man who sweeps you off your feet, who is so much more beautiful, successful, adventurous, funny, etc. than anyone you've dated so far. It's just a matter of time, right? Not so much. The truth is, you're not giving the people you're meeting a real chance. You haven't taken the time to get to know them and see if there is a real connection. Instead, you're relying only on chemistry or infatuation or unrealistic expectations, which aren't great barometers of long-term relationship success.

And if you are constantly analyzing your dates, looking for faults? You'll never find that "perfect" person, because everyone comes with some sort of history or baggage or preconceived notions, including you. It's important to be honest with ourselves about who we are and what we bring to the table, faults, weaknesses, strengths and abilities. We are all wonderful in unique ways, and we are also human beings.

Instead of serial dating, try making a real effort with the next person you ask out. It could make all the difference.