Selling Yourself - And Cheese
- Tuesday, October 11 2011 @ 09:25 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,585
For many, the most difficult part of online dating is having to write about themselves. We’re taught that to speak highly of ourselves is bragging, and bragging is negative; while this might very well be true in person, online you’re the only advocate you have.
Some online dating sites have tried to include “testimonials” from friends and family, but these tend to make things worse than better. Even friends and family who love and care about you might not be the best writers, or know how to compliment their loved one without sounding creepy, so mostly you’ll see generic praise, like “She’s great!” or “He’s a great catch!” Regardless of whether your site of choice includes testimonials, the best person for the job is still you.
So how do you go about writing a profile that pumps you up, when your first inclination is to be humble? One way is to think yourself as something to sell. No, you don’t have to be entirely objective; one major trap people fall in is when they think, “But I don’t think I’m a great catch after all!” Your job is not to judge; your job is to sell. If you were hired to shout the praises of a giant cheese wheel at the county fair, would you mention that the competing cheese wheel might be a little more round? No, you might focus on the fact that the taste of your cheese is superior, or that it’s homemade with love.
It’s a silly comparison, sure, but it’s appropriate. Don’t focus on your negative traits; focus on the positive. It can be tempting to bend the truth, but don’t lie - that only creates more problems, in the end.
Another way to look at your profile is to remember that whoever gets the first word tends to be the one taken seriously. Say someone says to a crowd, “My cheese wheel is the best-tasting in the county.” It’s up to the next guy to prove the first one wrong, and once the seed is planted in the mind of the crowd, it’s more difficult than if he’d gotten there first.
Similarly, with an online profile you get a chance to have the first word, to control the first impression. Don’t squander this opportunity! Don’t say, “Well, I don’t have the coolest hobbies in the world...” Say, “I have a lot of fun in my free time.” Even if you’re knitting or building model train sets, you’ve been so *censored*ertive and confident that the reader might wonder if there’s secret fun in trains that they’ve missed out on.
When in doubt, the best way to write a profile is with simple, positive statements. Check over your own profile - are you undermining your first impression by being negative or wishy-washy? It only takes a little tweaking to transform your profile from run-of-the-mill to bold and confident.
Some online dating sites have tried to include “testimonials” from friends and family, but these tend to make things worse than better. Even friends and family who love and care about you might not be the best writers, or know how to compliment their loved one without sounding creepy, so mostly you’ll see generic praise, like “She’s great!” or “He’s a great catch!” Regardless of whether your site of choice includes testimonials, the best person for the job is still you.
So how do you go about writing a profile that pumps you up, when your first inclination is to be humble? One way is to think yourself as something to sell. No, you don’t have to be entirely objective; one major trap people fall in is when they think, “But I don’t think I’m a great catch after all!” Your job is not to judge; your job is to sell. If you were hired to shout the praises of a giant cheese wheel at the county fair, would you mention that the competing cheese wheel might be a little more round? No, you might focus on the fact that the taste of your cheese is superior, or that it’s homemade with love.
It’s a silly comparison, sure, but it’s appropriate. Don’t focus on your negative traits; focus on the positive. It can be tempting to bend the truth, but don’t lie - that only creates more problems, in the end.
Another way to look at your profile is to remember that whoever gets the first word tends to be the one taken seriously. Say someone says to a crowd, “My cheese wheel is the best-tasting in the county.” It’s up to the next guy to prove the first one wrong, and once the seed is planted in the mind of the crowd, it’s more difficult than if he’d gotten there first.
Similarly, with an online profile you get a chance to have the first word, to control the first impression. Don’t squander this opportunity! Don’t say, “Well, I don’t have the coolest hobbies in the world...” Say, “I have a lot of fun in my free time.” Even if you’re knitting or building model train sets, you’ve been so *censored*ertive and confident that the reader might wonder if there’s secret fun in trains that they’ve missed out on.
When in doubt, the best way to write a profile is with simple, positive statements. Check over your own profile - are you undermining your first impression by being negative or wishy-washy? It only takes a little tweaking to transform your profile from run-of-the-mill to bold and confident.
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