Online Dating for the Private Person
- Thursday, February 02 2012 @ 01:12 pm
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,696
Online dating has so many upsides: the ability to work it around your schedule, the ability to search for incredibly detailed and specific criteria, the ability to think outside your own box and search for people completely outside your norm. There are so many upsides, in fact, that we’re loath to talk about the points that can give us pause, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be addressed. For example: privacy.
Note that I didn’t say safety, which is a completely different issue and one that tends to be blown out of proportion in the media. No, instead I’m talking about people prefer to keep their private lives private for other reasons. Maybe their sexual preferences aren’t known to friends, family or co-workers. Maybe they were teased about their hobbies as children. Maybe they’re simply private people. Regardless of the motivation, putting personal information about yourself on the Internet can be daunting - but not impossible.
First, if privacy is a top priority for you, choose your site wisely and get familiar with your privacy options. Try one where you can protect your profile from being viewed by anyone other than other members of the site. If you have an alternative lifestyle you don’t want to advertise, maybe try a niche site. You might still run the risk of stumbling into someone you know, but at least you’ll be on more equal footing.
Choose handles that aren’t obviously linked to you. “TorontoBaritoneFiremanArtist” might be just a little too specific. Try a name you’ve never used before. Similarly, if you have an unusual profession, or live in a small neighborhood, try not to get too detailed.
On the other hand, remember that you do need to open up at some point. When you read the profiles of others, are you more interested in bare details and little personality, or someone who’s engaging and open? If you want people to enjoy your profile you’ll have to do the same. It is possible to keep your privacy while being enthusiastic, not cagey; it just takes a little finessing and attention to editing.
Putting up a photo of yourself is entirely up to you, but remember that people are less likely to trust those who choose not to. You run the risk of being perceived as spam, a scammer or worse. On the other hand, a friendly, honest profile that explains that you prefer to send (non-obscene!) photos through email could help. It’s a gamble, so really examine whether it’s one you want to take or if online dating is even the right venue for you.
Having an engaging online profile while keeping a lock on your privacy is a fine line to walk - but one that is entirely attainable. Don’t shy away from online dating just because you value your privacy; if you’re familiar with your options and utilize the tools available to you, even the most cautious person might find a site that’s right for them.
Note that I didn’t say safety, which is a completely different issue and one that tends to be blown out of proportion in the media. No, instead I’m talking about people prefer to keep their private lives private for other reasons. Maybe their sexual preferences aren’t known to friends, family or co-workers. Maybe they were teased about their hobbies as children. Maybe they’re simply private people. Regardless of the motivation, putting personal information about yourself on the Internet can be daunting - but not impossible.
First, if privacy is a top priority for you, choose your site wisely and get familiar with your privacy options. Try one where you can protect your profile from being viewed by anyone other than other members of the site. If you have an alternative lifestyle you don’t want to advertise, maybe try a niche site. You might still run the risk of stumbling into someone you know, but at least you’ll be on more equal footing.
Choose handles that aren’t obviously linked to you. “TorontoBaritoneFiremanArtist” might be just a little too specific. Try a name you’ve never used before. Similarly, if you have an unusual profession, or live in a small neighborhood, try not to get too detailed.
On the other hand, remember that you do need to open up at some point. When you read the profiles of others, are you more interested in bare details and little personality, or someone who’s engaging and open? If you want people to enjoy your profile you’ll have to do the same. It is possible to keep your privacy while being enthusiastic, not cagey; it just takes a little finessing and attention to editing.
Putting up a photo of yourself is entirely up to you, but remember that people are less likely to trust those who choose not to. You run the risk of being perceived as spam, a scammer or worse. On the other hand, a friendly, honest profile that explains that you prefer to send (non-obscene!) photos through email could help. It’s a gamble, so really examine whether it’s one you want to take or if online dating is even the right venue for you.
Having an engaging online profile while keeping a lock on your privacy is a fine line to walk - but one that is entirely attainable. Don’t shy away from online dating just because you value your privacy; if you’re familiar with your options and utilize the tools available to you, even the most cautious person might find a site that’s right for them.
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