Not a Clone or a Complement
- Wednesday, July 20 2011 @ 08:33 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,410
Even if you haven’t seen the particular 1980’s movie I’m about to reference, you’re probably familiar with the general concept in some form or another: Two boys input everything they want in a girl into a computer, wire up a doll, and presto! The perfect woman.
When you first enter the world on online dating, it’s not uncommon to hope, somewhere in the back of your mind, for the same sort of thing. No, not a literal, magical, perfect being - but most want the perfect person for them. It’s not really an unreasonable desire, either. Everyone wants a best friend, a partner in crime, someone who likes all the same things you do, who brings out the best in you.
Here’s the thing, though: it’s totally possible that sort of person exists - it might not even be a long shot - but chances are, that’s not all the person will be. Very few people exist as the Perfect, Ready-Made Significant Other. Maybe they’ll have a family you can’t stand. Maybe they like most of the same things you do - but they also love things that curl your hair. Perhaps you’re a major football fan of a specific team, and they attended the rival school.
Remember that while, yes, you are looking for the perfect match for you, you’re also searching for a compatible human being - not a clone, and not someone designed to be your complement. Nobody really goes perfectly together without some differences - and that’s not a bad thing. After all, from differences can come growth in understanding and perspective - not to mention that they can keep things interesting!
Just remember, as you study profiles, send out emails and go on dates, that you’re looking for a real human being, and those come with the good and the bad. It’s possible that not all of your preferences will line up - but since it’s not just about you, that’s okay.
When you first enter the world on online dating, it’s not uncommon to hope, somewhere in the back of your mind, for the same sort of thing. No, not a literal, magical, perfect being - but most want the perfect person for them. It’s not really an unreasonable desire, either. Everyone wants a best friend, a partner in crime, someone who likes all the same things you do, who brings out the best in you.
Here’s the thing, though: it’s totally possible that sort of person exists - it might not even be a long shot - but chances are, that’s not all the person will be. Very few people exist as the Perfect, Ready-Made Significant Other. Maybe they’ll have a family you can’t stand. Maybe they like most of the same things you do - but they also love things that curl your hair. Perhaps you’re a major football fan of a specific team, and they attended the rival school.
Remember that while, yes, you are looking for the perfect match for you, you’re also searching for a compatible human being - not a clone, and not someone designed to be your complement. Nobody really goes perfectly together without some differences - and that’s not a bad thing. After all, from differences can come growth in understanding and perspective - not to mention that they can keep things interesting!
Just remember, as you study profiles, send out emails and go on dates, that you’re looking for a real human being, and those come with the good and the bad. It’s possible that not all of your preferences will line up - but since it’s not just about you, that’s okay.
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