Moving Friends Into More
- Friday, August 12 2011 @ 08:09 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,371
We’ve all been there at some point; someone you’ve always considered a friend in the past suddenly becomes more appealing. Or maybe there’s always been a little bit of chemistry, and it’s growing. Now you’re thinking about moving out of the friend zone and maybe turning the situation into something more. What to do?
It seems like a situation fraught with peril. It’s always risky, initiating romance with someone, but when you feel like your friendship is also on the line it can be all the more paralyzing. But honestly, it doesn’t have to be that bad - if you keep a few tips in mind.
First, and most importantly, move on the situation early. Yes, that’s right, the opposite of every “will they or won’t they?” plot you’ve ever seen on TV. There are several reasons why this is preferable. First, if it’s going to work out and you can feel the chemistry building between you, there’s really no point in waiting. Secondly, if you do get rejected, your feelings won’t have been that strong in the first place and it will be all the more easy to bounce back. And finally, there’s nothing to gain by dragging it out, feeling more and more strongly and pining away. It doesn’t help you in any sense. So get an answer, one way or another, as soon as you can.
There’s one glaring exception to this - if the object of your affection is in what appears to be a happy, stable relationship. Yes, there’s always a chance things aren’t really as they appear, but getting involved with someone who’s married or seriously taken, whether or not they’re your best friend, has a slim chance of long-term success. Better to look elsewhere, if you can.
Finally, regardless of whether your love interest says yes or no, be prepared for awkwardness. If they’ve said yes, remember that your relationship is changing, albeit hopefully for the better. Don’t stress out about a transition. And if they say no, they undoubtedly want the friendship to stay the same just as fervently as you do, and they don’t know what to do about it, either. So take a few days to get over your bruised ego, and when you’re feeling ready, carry on like you were before. The more adult everyone is about the situation, the quicker the strangeness will pass - and it will pass.
It’s not uncommon for friends to grow into something more, but whether or not you get the outcome you’re looking for, a strong friendship can weather it just the same. Don’t let your feelings drag you into the realm of pain and pining - an answer, one way or the other, will be far kinder, and will more easily allow you to preserve your friendship.
It seems like a situation fraught with peril. It’s always risky, initiating romance with someone, but when you feel like your friendship is also on the line it can be all the more paralyzing. But honestly, it doesn’t have to be that bad - if you keep a few tips in mind.
First, and most importantly, move on the situation early. Yes, that’s right, the opposite of every “will they or won’t they?” plot you’ve ever seen on TV. There are several reasons why this is preferable. First, if it’s going to work out and you can feel the chemistry building between you, there’s really no point in waiting. Secondly, if you do get rejected, your feelings won’t have been that strong in the first place and it will be all the more easy to bounce back. And finally, there’s nothing to gain by dragging it out, feeling more and more strongly and pining away. It doesn’t help you in any sense. So get an answer, one way or another, as soon as you can.
There’s one glaring exception to this - if the object of your affection is in what appears to be a happy, stable relationship. Yes, there’s always a chance things aren’t really as they appear, but getting involved with someone who’s married or seriously taken, whether or not they’re your best friend, has a slim chance of long-term success. Better to look elsewhere, if you can.
Finally, regardless of whether your love interest says yes or no, be prepared for awkwardness. If they’ve said yes, remember that your relationship is changing, albeit hopefully for the better. Don’t stress out about a transition. And if they say no, they undoubtedly want the friendship to stay the same just as fervently as you do, and they don’t know what to do about it, either. So take a few days to get over your bruised ego, and when you’re feeling ready, carry on like you were before. The more adult everyone is about the situation, the quicker the strangeness will pass - and it will pass.
It’s not uncommon for friends to grow into something more, but whether or not you get the outcome you’re looking for, a strong friendship can weather it just the same. Don’t let your feelings drag you into the realm of pain and pining - an answer, one way or the other, will be far kinder, and will more easily allow you to preserve your friendship.
Subscribe
