Just One Photo
- Saturday, March 16 2013 @ 09:22 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,488
It’s no surprise that when we land on an online dating profile, the first thing we want to do is check out the picture. Similarly, it’s also not a surprise that when we’re constructing our own profile, the picture is something we stress over the most. The question is, should we? What does the picture really tell us?
I’ve heard people say over-the-top statements like, “If the picture doesn’t grab me, why would the person?” Setting aside the fact that some people just aren’t very photogenic, how often does one actually get “grabbed” by a picture? We might find celebrities attractive, but do we literally have feelings for them? And what of the people we’ve loved in the past - would we have fallen for them based solely on one picture?
For most, the answer is “of course not.” And luckily for us, we’re not making all our dating decisions based on one picture; an online profile is a combination of the profile (any red flags in there? Common interests? Compelling writing style?) to the cold hard facts (vegetarian? Smoker?) to a virtual album of pictures. Instead of basing our contacting decisions on one picture, we have a virtual storybook about our potential match.
And even then, it’s not enough. Chemistry can’t be assessed from an online profile alone; it has to be tested in person. And even physical chemistry can’t forecast the success of a relationship. So the real point of the online profile is not to fall in love; it’s to arrange a date so you can meet and see if you could possibly fall in love in the future.
So why are we placing so much emphasis on the default picture, again? Sure, you want to look generally attractive in your photo, but more to the point, you want to create a profile that tells a compelling story. One photo will not make or break it, and in fact a handful of photos tells a more honest, genuine tale. As you peruse the profiles of others, and settle down to compose your own, remember: it’s the story, the whole package, that should “grab” the reader - not just a pretty picture.
I’ve heard people say over-the-top statements like, “If the picture doesn’t grab me, why would the person?” Setting aside the fact that some people just aren’t very photogenic, how often does one actually get “grabbed” by a picture? We might find celebrities attractive, but do we literally have feelings for them? And what of the people we’ve loved in the past - would we have fallen for them based solely on one picture?
For most, the answer is “of course not.” And luckily for us, we’re not making all our dating decisions based on one picture; an online profile is a combination of the profile (any red flags in there? Common interests? Compelling writing style?) to the cold hard facts (vegetarian? Smoker?) to a virtual album of pictures. Instead of basing our contacting decisions on one picture, we have a virtual storybook about our potential match.
And even then, it’s not enough. Chemistry can’t be assessed from an online profile alone; it has to be tested in person. And even physical chemistry can’t forecast the success of a relationship. So the real point of the online profile is not to fall in love; it’s to arrange a date so you can meet and see if you could possibly fall in love in the future.
So why are we placing so much emphasis on the default picture, again? Sure, you want to look generally attractive in your photo, but more to the point, you want to create a profile that tells a compelling story. One photo will not make or break it, and in fact a handful of photos tells a more honest, genuine tale. As you peruse the profiles of others, and settle down to compose your own, remember: it’s the story, the whole package, that should “grab” the reader - not just a pretty picture.
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