Hip to be Square

The other day I saw a an profile from a woman who was clearly self-conscious about her age. She made several jokes about it. Then, she made a “cougar” joke. The only problem? She clearly had the wrong idea about what a “cougar” even was – she thought it was more like a female predator, preying on school-age boys. The joke fell painfully flat, and worse, using a piece of slang incorrectly wound up dating her more than the self-conscious references to her age.

Here's the thing: the worlds of pop culture and the Internet are fast-paced, with jokes and memes and slang constantly updating. Now, some people using online dating sites are well-steeped in that world, and have no trouble mastering the funniest and most up-to-date references. And others, well, maybe their job doesn't utilize a computer, and they only have time to hop on for a few minutes a day, or don't watch much TV. That doesn't mean they aren't allowed to find love online; they simply might want to be a little more careful when they start throwing around in-jokes, or have a friend proofread them.

And what does this really boil down to? Being yourself. If you're not naturally a comedian, you don't need to try to be funny in every sentence. You don't have to be “hip” or “cool” for someone to fall in love with you. You don't need to be glamorous to be attractive.

In fact, if you're trying to be someone you're not, you're probably not attracting the sort of people who are compatible with you in the long term. Thus, you're wasting everyone's time, including your own. Do you really want to spend time trying to conform to what you think others want, or would that energy be better spent searching for someone who will really make you happy?

In short, you don't need to be an expert in what's hot at the moment; just be an expert at your own strengths. A profile is designed to promote not the latest trend, but you – so don't confuse the issue with false advertising.