False Modesty Is A False Friend

My friends are an incredibly gifted group of people. They're intelligent, funny, creative, attractive, successful, and artistic. Some started their own companies when they were teenagers. Some are dedicated to saving the planet, one environmentally-friendly step at a time. Some are pursuing political careers. Some spend their free time volunteering to help under-privileged children and starving families. Some are traveling the world. Others are models, writers, photographers, dancers, musicians, artists, and actors. They are talented in thousands of ways - but writing online dating profiles frequently isn't one of them.

It amazes me how often I see a bad profile make a great catch seem like a not-if-we-were-the-last-two-people-on-Earth kind of date. Take this description, for example:

"I'm an average height and weight, with dark hair and blue eyes. I'm an ok cook and people tell me that I sing well, but I'll leave it up to you to decide whether or not I have a good voice. I play tennis on the weekends, although I'm not very good at it. I have some other hobbies as well, but I'm more interested in hearing about yours."

Yawn. Boring, right? In the name of humility and modesty, that profile paints a portrait of someone who is dull, ordinary, and insecure. Modesty is supposed to be a virtue, but when it comes to finding love online, modesty - especially false modesty - is a huge mistake. Writing an enticing, effective profile requires you to toot your own horn so loudly it can be heard halfway across the globe.

So if you're an award-winning journalist who has the brains of a Princeton professor, the figure of a fitness model, and the skills of a classically trained pianist, say so! Fight the urge that tells you that you have to downgrade yourself to avoid coming off as a jerk with a severe case of narcissism. Don't underestimate yourself. Squash your self-consciousness.

Your online dating profile is the only glimpse potential paramours get into who you really are and what positive qualities you possess - so why waste time making yourself seem less interesting, less attractive, less unique, etc? By talking about your strengths, you are simply reporting the facts, not stroking your ego.

That being said, flaunting your assets to the point that it becomes the arrogant gloating of a high-maintenance bragger is a huge turn-off. Follow a glowing self-review by admitting to an innocent flaw that is humanizing and endearing, like "I couldn't carry a tune if it had a handle and the longest I've ever managed to stay upright on skis is approximately 12 seconds."

Write your profile the way a marketing team would write an advertisement for a product. What do you bring to the table (and to a future partner's life) that is exceptional, unforgettable, exciting, and indispensable? Do you plan to climb Mount Everest? Have you published a poem? Could you defeat Beckham in a one-on-one match? Tell a story that demonstrates your strong points and makes readers want to know more about what makes you such a catch.