Does Love at First Sight Really Exist?

Most of us have a romantic idea of how we'll meet "The One." Maybe you're at a party and see each other across the crowd, eyes locking and both going weak in the knees. Or maybe you run into him walking your dog, and instantly your heart skips a beat. Either way, it's an instant knowing: he's the person you want to be with forever. Things will proceed accordingly - you just have to meet him so you can both instantly recognize each other. Getting to that point is difficult - making love last seems like a piece of cake.

While this is a great theory, it's not reflective of reality. Sure, some couples instantly connect and stay together - maybe you know some. But for the majority, lasting love requires something more than this kind of chemistry.

According to an article on Oprah.com by Helen Fisher, an anthropologist and expert for Chemistry.com, there was a survey by Ayala Malach-Pines, PhD, of Ben-Gurion University in Israel. Of 493 respondents, only 11 percent said their long-term relationships started from love at first sight. For the majority, it didn't happen quite so easily. Fisher adds, "Psychologists say that the more you interact with a person you like (even slightly), the more you come to regard him as good-looking, smart, and similar to you-unless you discover something that breaks the spell. So it's wise to hang in for a second meeting."

While I do believe that love at first sight exists, I think we often mistake it for chemistry and attraction, which aren't lasting qualities in a relationship. For example, have you met someone you found incredibly attractive, only to wonder what happened a few weeks later when he stopped calling or returning your texts? Because of the chemistry you experienced, you felt the relationship had a good chance of working. You felt he was Mr. Right, but he was far from it.

When we're left hurt and wondering what happened, or when we question where a relationship is headed or how the other person feels, this isn't love at first sight. True and lasting love comes from something besides chemistry, and it usually takes getting to know each other and falling in love at a deeper level than just the instant physical attraction. Don't rely on chemistry alone to tell you whether someone is or isn't Mr. Right. If you find him interesting or attractive and you would go out again, take a chance. Even if you didn't go weak in the knees for your first meeting, he could be "the One" - only time will tell. You have no way of knowing - with anyone - until you've dated for a while and the fireworks start to fade. Then real and lasting love steps in.

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