Dating Pools - as Changeable as the Weather
- Saturday, September 11 2010 @ 08:39 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 2,011
“Steve” has been frustrated with his online dating experience lately. When he first began and constructed his profile late one night, he didn't get very many responses. In fact, he didn't really get any. Then he learned a few tips to make his profile better, and voila! He began to get responses to his emails; in fact, he even went on a few dates.
It seemed like he had a “hot streak” going for a couple of months, but now it's been a couple more months and he hasn't had very many responses. He feels like he's moving backwards. What could be going wrong?
There are several potential answers to Steve's problem; maybe he hasn't actually updated his profile in months and people get turned off when they read that he can't wait for the snow season to end when it's July. Maybe he's gotten a little lazy and has started sending copy and pasted emails, which are as obvious as a form rejection letter.
However, let's assume that Steve isn't doing anything wrong, that his profile is just as fresh and witty as the day he began to get all those responses. What's happened?
In short, nothing. There might simply be fewer women on the online dating site at the moment who response to Steve's type. He might have better success at a different website, or on the same website in one month. Or tomorrow.
That's what's frustrating about online dating and dating in general: you can't always guarantee that there's a compatible person out there in the dating pool right this second, looking for someone just like you. Maybe right now the dating pool you've chosen is full of incompatible people. Maybe tomorrow that will change – or not. It's difficult when you want instant validation for your hard work, but you also have to depend, in no small part, on chance.
So what should Steve do? Well, as I mentioned before, maybe a change of venue is in order. Maybe he could try a different site, or take a break from actively emailing if he's really frustrated. However, Steve's already got the hardest part down – he's got a profile that will hopefully serve him well should the right woman come along. She might not come along today or tomorrow – but in the event that she does, he's prepared. And when you're dealing with chance, really, that's all any of us can do.
It seemed like he had a “hot streak” going for a couple of months, but now it's been a couple more months and he hasn't had very many responses. He feels like he's moving backwards. What could be going wrong?
There are several potential answers to Steve's problem; maybe he hasn't actually updated his profile in months and people get turned off when they read that he can't wait for the snow season to end when it's July. Maybe he's gotten a little lazy and has started sending copy and pasted emails, which are as obvious as a form rejection letter.
However, let's assume that Steve isn't doing anything wrong, that his profile is just as fresh and witty as the day he began to get all those responses. What's happened?
In short, nothing. There might simply be fewer women on the online dating site at the moment who response to Steve's type. He might have better success at a different website, or on the same website in one month. Or tomorrow.
That's what's frustrating about online dating and dating in general: you can't always guarantee that there's a compatible person out there in the dating pool right this second, looking for someone just like you. Maybe right now the dating pool you've chosen is full of incompatible people. Maybe tomorrow that will change – or not. It's difficult when you want instant validation for your hard work, but you also have to depend, in no small part, on chance.
So what should Steve do? Well, as I mentioned before, maybe a change of venue is in order. Maybe he could try a different site, or take a break from actively emailing if he's really frustrated. However, Steve's already got the hardest part down – he's got a profile that will hopefully serve him well should the right woman come along. She might not come along today or tomorrow – but in the event that she does, he's prepared. And when you're dealing with chance, really, that's all any of us can do.
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