Bluffing Yourself is No Way to Win
- Monday, June 07 2010 @ 07:44 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,823
In the world of online dating websites, the topic loaded with the most expectations is common interests. If we look at it objectively, easily finding someone with common interests is probably the biggest draw of online dating – the ability to find someone “compatible” without ever leaving your computer. Of course, since full compatibility often involves the kind of chemistry that can only be experienced in person, the computer aspect boils down to... finding an attractive person with common interests.
Here's the big question, though: are you the kind of person that really wants someone with common interests?
I once knew a girl who was fantastic at poker, and she wanted to find a guy who would play with her for fun (and not pout if she won). Well, she got her wish – she met a guy who was a fantastic poker player. In fact, he was actually better than she was. The girl discovered she had a bit of a competitive streak to her that was not at all attractive within the context of a relationship. Ultimately, she's happier with someone content to be clueless about the poker world.
It would be easy to say that the girl was simply selfish, but it's not that simple. A relationship is its own balancing act, and sometimes that balance can be a little surprising. It is entirely possible for two people to bring out the best in each other... and the worst, as well. So how do we go about our search when we're not entirely sure what will work with us?
Well, we can start with a little self-reflection. Think honestly about your own temperament; if you have a thick skin you can even ask friends and family about it. Do you like being top dog? Are you more comfortable when you're not forced to be a leader? Are you the kind of guy who gets mad when you lose at board games? If so, you might want to play with people you don't have to see every day.
No one's perfect, and we all have our own flaws. However, identifying what we need will send us along the path to finding a match all the more quickly. Honesty is the best policy – especially when you're dealing with yourself.
Here's the big question, though: are you the kind of person that really wants someone with common interests?
I once knew a girl who was fantastic at poker, and she wanted to find a guy who would play with her for fun (and not pout if she won). Well, she got her wish – she met a guy who was a fantastic poker player. In fact, he was actually better than she was. The girl discovered she had a bit of a competitive streak to her that was not at all attractive within the context of a relationship. Ultimately, she's happier with someone content to be clueless about the poker world.
It would be easy to say that the girl was simply selfish, but it's not that simple. A relationship is its own balancing act, and sometimes that balance can be a little surprising. It is entirely possible for two people to bring out the best in each other... and the worst, as well. So how do we go about our search when we're not entirely sure what will work with us?
Well, we can start with a little self-reflection. Think honestly about your own temperament; if you have a thick skin you can even ask friends and family about it. Do you like being top dog? Are you more comfortable when you're not forced to be a leader? Are you the kind of guy who gets mad when you lose at board games? If so, you might want to play with people you don't have to see every day.
No one's perfect, and we all have our own flaws. However, identifying what we need will send us along the path to finding a match all the more quickly. Honesty is the best policy – especially when you're dealing with yourself.
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