Avoiding Dating Burn-Out
- Tuesday, June 15 2010 @ 10:42 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 2,095
Let's say you have an online dating profile. You've worked hard on your profile, and you've even had it checked over by an extra set of eyes. You're confident you're not sending the wrong messages. Furthermore, when you send out a first-contact email it's short, sweet and friendly, and doesn't attempt to move too quickly.
And despite the fact that you seem to be doing everything right, you're still only getting a small percentage of responses. After searching in vain for something you can improve, you're eventually forced to confront the truth: dating is, to some degree, a numbers game.
It can be a heard concept for anyone to accept. If you're doing everything right, why aren't they falling at your feet? Well, for one thing, dating is still subjective, sometimes based on the strangest of gut decisions. Even the most attractive stars will not be every single person's cup of tea; for us mere mortals, it's all the more difficult.
Perhaps you're not doing too badly, on average, but “on average” means there are weeks when nothing goes your way. How can you avoid becoming burned out on the online dating scene? How do you protect your heart from getting too bruised?
Well, first you can accept the nature of a numbers game. You wouldn't expect to win a poker tournament every single time; if you wrote a novel, you wouldn't expect it would be wanted by every single publisher. In essence, part of it is developing a thicker skin.
The other part involves caring only to a point. Don't get me wrong, you don't want to send out tons of copy-and-paste emails to anyone who remotely matches your criteria. However, once you identify the interesting people and send out a short, personalized email... forget about them. Don't worry about it until you get a positive response. No sense working yourself up in the meantime, especially as you recognize the nature of a numbers game.
It can be a fine line to walk between caring too much and not enough. Still, attempting to follow these basic guidelines could improve your endurance to the point where eventually your patience is rewarded. After all, though dating can be exhausting and full of dead ends, it's possible you only need it to work out once.
And despite the fact that you seem to be doing everything right, you're still only getting a small percentage of responses. After searching in vain for something you can improve, you're eventually forced to confront the truth: dating is, to some degree, a numbers game.
It can be a heard concept for anyone to accept. If you're doing everything right, why aren't they falling at your feet? Well, for one thing, dating is still subjective, sometimes based on the strangest of gut decisions. Even the most attractive stars will not be every single person's cup of tea; for us mere mortals, it's all the more difficult.
Perhaps you're not doing too badly, on average, but “on average” means there are weeks when nothing goes your way. How can you avoid becoming burned out on the online dating scene? How do you protect your heart from getting too bruised?
Well, first you can accept the nature of a numbers game. You wouldn't expect to win a poker tournament every single time; if you wrote a novel, you wouldn't expect it would be wanted by every single publisher. In essence, part of it is developing a thicker skin.
The other part involves caring only to a point. Don't get me wrong, you don't want to send out tons of copy-and-paste emails to anyone who remotely matches your criteria. However, once you identify the interesting people and send out a short, personalized email... forget about them. Don't worry about it until you get a positive response. No sense working yourself up in the meantime, especially as you recognize the nature of a numbers game.
It can be a fine line to walk between caring too much and not enough. Still, attempting to follow these basic guidelines could improve your endurance to the point where eventually your patience is rewarded. After all, though dating can be exhausting and full of dead ends, it's possible you only need it to work out once.
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