Are You Attracting The Wrong Guys?

You joined a new online dating site, posted some great pictures and created your profile. You were excited to get started, but now three weeks into it, you realize that all of the men reaching out to you are not your type - at all. You get emails and winks from them, but you have no desire to date them. What do you do? And more importantly, what went wrong?

I always tell people to keep an open mind when online dating. Most people will surprise you - the ones who look good in their pictures might not look so hot in real life, but the person you were on the fence about could end up being your best date ever. You just never know, so people deserve the benefit of the doubt.

That said, if you're getting responses from people who are definitely not your type, there could be a problem with how you're portraying yourself. It's important to be honest and clear about who you are or what you want. So how can you get the right ones to email?

Create a more honest profile. If you have a distinct preference for your type, such as race, ethnicity, religion, political views, etc., state them so you don't waste your time or others'. Don't dance around the subject. (A word of advice: if you are strict about dating inside your race or religion, then you may want to check out some niche dating sites instead.)

Write a description that's more accurate. While you'd like to run five miles every day, if you don't - then don't claim this in your profile. Same thing with sailing, salsa dancing, watching football, or whatever - if you normally don't do these things, don't say it's something you like to do. Because when they invite you to join them in training for a marathon, you'll have to come clean. And besides, don't you want to meet people who share your interests? If you like spending all day Sunday watching movies, then admit you're a movie buff. Don't try to pretend you know what other people will find attractive and cater your profile to it. (And a general rule of thumb: don't lie about things - either by using old pictures, or fudging your age, your income, etc.)

Don't be vague. If you're not specific about what you want, then you're inviting anyone to contact you. I'm not saying you should make a list, but figure out the most important qualities/values you'd like in a date - and be honest about whether you're looking for a relationship or just some fun.

Adjust your filters. I like to say keep your filters open, but if you have a radius of 3,000 miles and you keep getting responses from people halfway across the country, please minimize! There's no need to form an online relationship when there are plenty of people in your own town or city to date. Be flexible but have a little discretion when it comes to what you want.