Analyzing the Magic
- Thursday, November 22 2012 @ 01:02 pm
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,544
Chances are, you’ve probably heard someone use the phrase “magic” when they’re referring to a relationship. Or rather, you’ve heard about the absence of it: “All the magic is gone,” “There’s no magic anymore,” “Once the magic is gone...” and so forth. What is this “magic” everyone talks about? And is it as important as we make it out to be?
When I asked people to further define “magic” in a relationship, it seems to take one of a few forms. First, they might be referring to “fireworks,” or infatuation. That might involve hearts pounding, hormones surging, and probably a good deal of flirting, because it seems like much of the thrill comes from anticipation. Everything is shiny and new.
If that’s your definition of “magic” and you’re worried about it leaving, there’s a bit of a problem: it almost certainly will. Eventually hormones settle down, things aren’t all that “new” and there’s probably less flirting and more comfort. Now, does that mean your relationship is stale and doomed? Absolutely not! In fact, many probably don’t even notice the absence of infatuation; they’ve naturally transitioned into a different kind of a relationship. Problems arise when you compare notes with starry-eyed, newly-infatuated friends, but just remember: “great” can be a bubble bath just as easily as a roller coaster.
When other people talk about “magic” they are talking about chemistry, which is just slightly different than infatuation. It, too, is most noticeable at the beginning of the relationship: those moments where you both discover you like the same thing, or you say the same things, or you just feel absolutely “in sync.”
Over time, you may notice the differences more than the similarities, but chances are you’re more alike than ever before - now you have additional shared experiences. The novelty of having something in common, however, has faded. Less exciting? Maybe. But when you’re spending most of your free time with one person, it can be a good thing to have your own hobbies and experiences; now you’ll have something to share.
And for yet others, the “magic” of a relationship refers simply to overall compatibility; whether they enjoy being with each other. No relationship goes smoothly one hundred percent of the time, but some do eventually run their course entirely. In this case maybe “magic” really is the most accurate word for it: that indefinable something that held two people together and is just as indefinably gone.
So if you’re worried about losing the “magic” in your relationship, ask yourself what you’re really talking about. Maybe you’re worried about the state of your entire relationship, and it’s worth analyzing a little more. But maybe you’re just not sure how to proceed once you’re past the initial stages of a relationship - and maybe the “magic,” in this case, will make way for something even better.
When I asked people to further define “magic” in a relationship, it seems to take one of a few forms. First, they might be referring to “fireworks,” or infatuation. That might involve hearts pounding, hormones surging, and probably a good deal of flirting, because it seems like much of the thrill comes from anticipation. Everything is shiny and new.
If that’s your definition of “magic” and you’re worried about it leaving, there’s a bit of a problem: it almost certainly will. Eventually hormones settle down, things aren’t all that “new” and there’s probably less flirting and more comfort. Now, does that mean your relationship is stale and doomed? Absolutely not! In fact, many probably don’t even notice the absence of infatuation; they’ve naturally transitioned into a different kind of a relationship. Problems arise when you compare notes with starry-eyed, newly-infatuated friends, but just remember: “great” can be a bubble bath just as easily as a roller coaster.
When other people talk about “magic” they are talking about chemistry, which is just slightly different than infatuation. It, too, is most noticeable at the beginning of the relationship: those moments where you both discover you like the same thing, or you say the same things, or you just feel absolutely “in sync.”
Over time, you may notice the differences more than the similarities, but chances are you’re more alike than ever before - now you have additional shared experiences. The novelty of having something in common, however, has faded. Less exciting? Maybe. But when you’re spending most of your free time with one person, it can be a good thing to have your own hobbies and experiences; now you’ll have something to share.
And for yet others, the “magic” of a relationship refers simply to overall compatibility; whether they enjoy being with each other. No relationship goes smoothly one hundred percent of the time, but some do eventually run their course entirely. In this case maybe “magic” really is the most accurate word for it: that indefinable something that held two people together and is just as indefinably gone.
So if you’re worried about losing the “magic” in your relationship, ask yourself what you’re really talking about. Maybe you’re worried about the state of your entire relationship, and it’s worth analyzing a little more. But maybe you’re just not sure how to proceed once you’re past the initial stages of a relationship - and maybe the “magic,” in this case, will make way for something even better.
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