Selling Yourself
- Friday, July 23 2010 @ 09:51 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,682
When creating an online dating profile, many first-timers run into The Big Problem. Call it writer's block, call it shyness or modesty; essentially, we all reach a point where we say: “But I don't know how to sell myself, and I don't know if I even want to!”
It's interesting; in a rather narcissistic society, we're perfectly comfortable charting our most mundane move on the Internet, but when it comes to speaking confidently about ourselves we tend to clam up.
We absolutely can't, though. Imagine you're at work. Will you ever get a promotion if you hide in the background? We'd like to think that we're special enough that we shine through without even trying, but frankly, there's a lot of people in the world, and your boss is only human. Thus, if you don't speak up for your own performance, no one else will.
So it is when it comes to dating. It would be great if that guy could just look at you and know that you're attending grad school, or that girl could see into your soul and know that you make great cinnamon buns. Alas, our telepathic skills are minimal at best, so you're going to have to go with more old-fashioned ways of communication.
Online dating makes it a little easier. Rather than trying to subtly slip in your skills or intelligence or talents in a first conversation, you can lay it all out there in the profile. They'll know from the very beginning that they're talking to someone working on a marathon or cold fusion.
“But why do I need their approval?” you ask. “I feel like a piece of meat! I feel like I'm assigning value to my achievements – to my very self!”
Well, maybe. It might be a callous way to think about it. But consider – why do you think Person X should date you, instead of the profile right before or after yours? On some level, you do think you have something to offer, that you're better than the others out there. There's nothing wrong with that – self-confidence is good. But you have to swallow your pride and let people know what a great person you are!
When you're writing your profile, or even meeting something in person, remember: they won't be able to see your personality unless you show it to them. Maybe it's awkward, maybe you're not used to selling yourself. But if you don't, who will?
It's interesting; in a rather narcissistic society, we're perfectly comfortable charting our most mundane move on the Internet, but when it comes to speaking confidently about ourselves we tend to clam up.
We absolutely can't, though. Imagine you're at work. Will you ever get a promotion if you hide in the background? We'd like to think that we're special enough that we shine through without even trying, but frankly, there's a lot of people in the world, and your boss is only human. Thus, if you don't speak up for your own performance, no one else will.
So it is when it comes to dating. It would be great if that guy could just look at you and know that you're attending grad school, or that girl could see into your soul and know that you make great cinnamon buns. Alas, our telepathic skills are minimal at best, so you're going to have to go with more old-fashioned ways of communication.
Online dating makes it a little easier. Rather than trying to subtly slip in your skills or intelligence or talents in a first conversation, you can lay it all out there in the profile. They'll know from the very beginning that they're talking to someone working on a marathon or cold fusion.
“But why do I need their approval?” you ask. “I feel like a piece of meat! I feel like I'm assigning value to my achievements – to my very self!”
Well, maybe. It might be a callous way to think about it. But consider – why do you think Person X should date you, instead of the profile right before or after yours? On some level, you do think you have something to offer, that you're better than the others out there. There's nothing wrong with that – self-confidence is good. But you have to swallow your pride and let people know what a great person you are!
When you're writing your profile, or even meeting something in person, remember: they won't be able to see your personality unless you show it to them. Maybe it's awkward, maybe you're not used to selling yourself. But if you don't, who will?
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