Familiar Precautions
- Sunday, July 07 2013 @ 11:20 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,355
A friend confessed to me, “I like the idea of online dating, but I’m afraid to try it. You see so many stories about bad people taking advantage. I feel like using an online dating site is the equivalent of walking down a dark alley.”
In fact, online dating is not like walking down a dark alley at all; that would imply that my friend was the only innocent fish in a pool of sharks. However, the online dating world is probably similar to walking down a busy city street in the middle of the day: there are all kinds, including some less-than-upstanding citizens. And with a little research and precaution, you can learn to spot and avoid entanglements with them - if, in fact, you ever encounter them at all.
People tend to worry about two types of danger: the scammers and the physical danger. In both cases, chances are you already have experience dealing with both dangers, whether you realize it or not. First, the scammers - the fake profiles that are out to manipulate you, probably for your money. If you have an email account, chances are you’ve encountered a spam email or several - sob stories, questionable English, and a request for money or account information.
Even if an online dating scammer operates more smoothly than those cut and paste emails, there are still similar elements: stories that seem too good to be true, red flags in language, requests for personal information, convoluted stories about why you can’t meet yet. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t be afraid to trust your intuition - ask a third party for their opinion, or back out altogether.
The worry of physical danger is more scary for most, but there are definitely precautions you can take - meet in a public location, have a friend stationed nearby if you’re feeling particularly nervous, take your own transportation. However, again, you’ve been meeting strangers your entire life; you’ve already developed gut instincts that will sound the alarm if someone feels sketchy. It doesn’t matter whether you meet someone at work, via online dating, at a bar, or at a grocery store; you possess the same logic and instincts.
So once again, don’t be afraid to bail if you don’t feel right; far better to wait for someone with whom you feel comfortable. The truth is, online dating is no more or less safe than the rest of the world, provided you use common sense and listen to your gut. So why let fear stop you from exploring the possibilities?
In fact, online dating is not like walking down a dark alley at all; that would imply that my friend was the only innocent fish in a pool of sharks. However, the online dating world is probably similar to walking down a busy city street in the middle of the day: there are all kinds, including some less-than-upstanding citizens. And with a little research and precaution, you can learn to spot and avoid entanglements with them - if, in fact, you ever encounter them at all.
People tend to worry about two types of danger: the scammers and the physical danger. In both cases, chances are you already have experience dealing with both dangers, whether you realize it or not. First, the scammers - the fake profiles that are out to manipulate you, probably for your money. If you have an email account, chances are you’ve encountered a spam email or several - sob stories, questionable English, and a request for money or account information.
Even if an online dating scammer operates more smoothly than those cut and paste emails, there are still similar elements: stories that seem too good to be true, red flags in language, requests for personal information, convoluted stories about why you can’t meet yet. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t be afraid to trust your intuition - ask a third party for their opinion, or back out altogether.
The worry of physical danger is more scary for most, but there are definitely precautions you can take - meet in a public location, have a friend stationed nearby if you’re feeling particularly nervous, take your own transportation. However, again, you’ve been meeting strangers your entire life; you’ve already developed gut instincts that will sound the alarm if someone feels sketchy. It doesn’t matter whether you meet someone at work, via online dating, at a bar, or at a grocery store; you possess the same logic and instincts.
So once again, don’t be afraid to bail if you don’t feel right; far better to wait for someone with whom you feel comfortable. The truth is, online dating is no more or less safe than the rest of the world, provided you use common sense and listen to your gut. So why let fear stop you from exploring the possibilities?
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