Tips

Love and success - the two things that may people want more than anything in this life. They're both concepts that lead to access, comfort and a sense of exclusivity - I made it. I belong. I'm one of the lucky ones.

Are you keeping yourself from these incredible feelings out of fear?

It's not uncommon in both business and love that we sabotage ourselves. We start to see fault in the positive and accentuate the negative because...well...we simply don't feel we deserve it. Instead of letting this happen to you, have a look at some tips and tricks you can use to keep from throwing yourself under the bus and keep moving towards the end-goal: a life you love WITH someone you love each morning you wake up.

Stop Bickering - Bickering is the result of "small stuff." Before you choose to bicker the next time, take a deep breath and ask yourself: will this matter in an hour? Five hours? Five years? If the answer is "no," then maybe say nothing or throw in a much-needed and never overused "I love you" or smile instead. Seriously - don't sweat the small stuff and most of it truly IS small stuff.

Offer Praise - Someone's else's success doesn't take away from your worth as a partner or person. When your lover or colleague succeeds, feel proud! This successful person chose you! You're a part of their team, in life or in the office, and you made a contribution. There's an old adage that goes something like, "Success is easy if you don't mind who gets the credit." Imagine how your lover and colleagues will feel when you have a success. Hearing words of praise - genuine words - will go miles towards making you feel ten feet off the ground than a half-hearted word of congrats.

Gossip Less - When we gossip, we're telling ourselves and everyone around us that our lives are so boring that we need to talk about other people's. Really? Your life is that boring? Why not shift the time you spend gossiping to asking yourself what you can do to solve a problem or build your business...help your partner...be productive? Those are activities that yield positive results. Instead of tearing someone else down, build your life UP. If you can't find anything to say or think that's proactive, take a deep breath and don't say anything. That's a great way to spend time, too.

Visualize - Ask yourself, "What does my picture of success look like?" Think about the big picture first and then think about the small things that make up that big picture. Reach out and touch them. Now ask yourself, "What do I have to do in order to get each and every one of the things I'm seeing in my big picture?" Start small. If you can visualize the steps it takes to get you towards your big goal, the goal suddenly seems much more easy to achieve, doesn't it? In order to find your soul mate, maybe you need to start dating again. Maybe the first step that fits with your lifestyle is to sign-up for an online dating site. So you do. Now we're cooking!

Admit It - You're a great person and you deserve to have great things happen to you. Maybe you have some changes you want to make in your life, but who doesn't? Maybe you've had some less-than-optimal moments. Who hasn't? Maybe you lost your job, got divorced, had your house foreclosed upon, got into a car accident...so what? Where are you now? Where do you want to be? Those are the only two questions that matter. You're great and no one is perfect, but the bottom line is - you're perfect for someone out there.

Given that 50% of all marriages in the U.S. currently end in divorce according to the CDC, the question begs: how do you get back in the swing of things after divorce? Dating is a foreign world to many who have been in long-term marriages and perhaps raised children who have now gone off to college. Times have changed and quite frankly, so have you. Don't fret about learning how to move and shake again - with a few simple tips, you'll be well on the road to being you as you meet someone new!

After Divorce Dating Tip #1: Dress to Impress Yourself
Look in your closet and tell me what you see. I'll be that you're the one who bought most of the clothes hanging in there. If not, go grab your favorite shirt and pair of pants for me. If you're a gal, grab your favorite top and bottom. Put them on the bed and step back. Have a look at them and ask, "Why do I like these things?" If you can't come up with a reason other than you like how you feel when you wear them, BINGO! That's the right date outfit. Your date is going to move past your clothes in the first 10 minutes, so you might as well feel great while you sit there as they get interested in YOU instead of what you're wearing!

After Divorce Dating Tip #2: Understand History, Don't Repeat It
Just because your marriage or your date's marriage didn't work doesn't mean you're destined for repeated demise. Life happens. We can either learn from it or we can doom ourselves to make the same mistakes over and over again. Sometimes it's hard when you begin dating again after a divorce to realize that this new person isn't out to ruin your life. Learn from your mistakes, hope your date has learned from theirs and place yourself in a position to mutually earn and give trust. That's when you'll see red flags (and decide to lower them, too)!

After Divorce Dating Tip #3: Love YOU First
You're emerging from a tumultuous time in your life. It's possible the person sitting across from you is as well. The most important person in any relationship you'll begin from here on out it you. Maybe you have kids and they'll be a major consideration as well. But understand that you should never give up the beautiful person that is you while you look for someone with which to share yourself. A successful relationship is not only based on trust - it's based on a mutual respect for each person in the relationship and the things (good AND bad) they bring to the table.

It's a question answered by anyone who's ever looked at an online dating website for a relationship: long distance or no distance? For many, the answer isn't readily apparent. After all, many of us are only at the beginning of digging in our own backyards for Mr. or Mrs. Right! But think for a moment: who says that everlasting love has geographical limits?

Think back to everywhere you lived when you've been in a relationship. Long distance or not, you found someone there that tickled your fancy, made you laugh and had that "thing" that kept you coming back for more. It had nothing to do with where you lived. It had to do with who YOU are and who THAT person was. Granted, seeing them might have been easier since they lived a few blocks or miles away, but when you take geography out of the equation, you'll have to go through a few checkpoints to determine if a long distance relationship is right for you.

Long Distance Relationship Question #1: Travel
Can you get time off? Do you want to take time off? If you can get it and want to take it, do you want to spend it going to visit someone? For some, "long distance" is driving 30 minutes to cross from Denver into Boulder, Colorado. For others, it means hopping on a plane or driving a few hours to get into someone's arms. Gas and airfare cost money, time off takes time. Think before you spend!

Long Distance Relationship Question #2: Trust
You're here. They're there. It takes a lot to trust someone, especially early in a relationship. Don't forget that some people are better mice when the cat is always around (and you may be one of them!).

Long Distance Relationship Question #3: Time Frame
You realize that, if this thing works out, one of you will be moving, right? You can't stay away from one another forever! Keep this in mind if you decide to date across state lines. Many professions are difficult to relocate while others are much easier.

Have you exhausted your current local matches of men on your dating site of choice and need to wait a few weeks before some more join? Give these 10 other spots a try in the mean time as a place to meet men:

1. Have Dinner Out

Busy, single men don’t have time to cook. When they are tired and hungry after work, they dine out at restaurants. So if you want to meet a great guy, try a new restaurant at least once a week.

2. Go to The Gym

Gyms are places where all body conscious men go to let off some steam. If you meet a man at the gym you can see really looks like when he’s all sweaty. If he looks good in gym clothes, he’ll look great in a suit. People who work out are also much happier. If you want to meet an energetic man, get dressed and go to the gym.

3. Give Your Pet Some Love

The sun is out and love is in the air. People are outside enjoying the weather. Take the opportunity to give your dog some extra attention and go to the park. If you don’t have a dog, borrow one. Men love dogs and will often frequent dog runs. If a man sees a woman walking a cute dog, he will most likely start talking to her.

It's all over the news that the world may need to prepare for another royal wedding. The last one of epic proportion was of Lady Diana to Prince Charles. This time? Their son, Prince Edward, to the lovely Kate Middleton. We've heard the horror stories after the split of both Charles and Diana and Phillip and Fergie...so what's so enchanting about yet another royal marriage?

The Duchess of York (aka Fergie) came forward this past week and offered some advice for the young Kate Middleton. So this week, we're going to talk to you about what royal weddings can teach us about dating!

Royal Wedding Relationship Tip #1: Make Time
Fergie advised Kate to make time for her marriage, something she didn't do. In fact. Fergie states that she and Prince Phillip only spent 40 days together during their first five years of marriage. WOW! I don't know about you, but I'm heartsick when my better half is gone on business for two weeks...I can't fathom 40 days in five years.

Some tips for making time when the busy schedules of two lovers collide:

• Date night: Have one day a week where it's just the two of you. You can do anything you like, from sit on the couch at home to go out for a movie. It's your night! By mutually agreeing to shared time, you're agreeing to give yourself what you need as a couple - time together.
• Turn off the phones: Cell phones, Blackberrys, iPhones...disconnect. The world goes on even when you don't answer a call and you just might find there's someone even more interesting sitting in front of you.

Royal Wedding Relationship Tip #2: There's Something to Be Said for Private Time
We all have visions of celebrity - what would it be like to live like that? For one thing, "you time" would be pretty hard to come by. Just think - it's not the moments you spend with others that deepen the level of intimacy you share with your partner. It's the quirky and quiet alone time.

Sneaking a kiss in the kitchen, holding hands when you sit down to watch a movie on a Thursday night, sharing a bowl of ice cream with two spoons and watching him drizzle Magic Shell onto each spoonful. Those are the moments you can't replace or replicate in the public eye. While business dinners and events attended together may make it seem like you're spending gobs of time together, are you really bonding or communicating? Don't for get to take "you time."

Royal Wedding Relationship Tip #3: There are Always More than Two People in a Relationship
If you have children, heavens - this, you know! But even if you aren't planning on spending the rest of your life with someone with kids, you can't ignore that when you marry someone, you're marrying their family as well. The royal family is a perfect example. Imagine marrying the heir to the throne of England, now imagine how your girlfriend's dad gets on your nerves with his bird watching stories. Is there any comparison? There's nothing wrong with spending part of your dating process getting to know your better half's family.

We're all dysfunctional to a certain extent (and some more than others), but why not pave the road for a successful life-long relationship with the entire family by putting in some together time with the entire brood? What's the worse that could happen? You leave a weekend or dinner laughing about how you and your date's mom will never see eye to eye? You find that your date's dad might be your new best friend? Honestly - there's a value in family. Everyone's got their quirks, so it's best to get a head start on figuring them out!

No one is perfect. If we were all flawless, dating wouldn’t be as fun. I know I make a million mistakes on dates and I share them with my girlfriends so we can all laugh about them afterwards. Half the fun of dating is the stories you get to tell your friends.

1. Stay Away From Your Phone

The biggest mistake women make on a date is using their cell phones. When you’re on a date, your cell phone should stay in your bag. A guy doesn't want to sit across from you if you’re on your phone the entire time. He wants your full attention.

2. No One Cares About Your Ex

Sometimes women talk about their ex-boyfriends too much. You’re in the present, so focus on it. Your date wants to learn about you, he doesn’t care about your ex-boyfriends. If you want a future with someone, avoid bringing up your previous relationships.

3. Don’t Eat Like A Bird

When you go on a date, don’t order a salad. Men like women who enjoy eating. An appetite is sexy. When you order a salad on a date, you send out the wrong signal. Salads are like beans. They’re okay to eat when you’re alone or with a friend, but not on a date.