Advice

Mark Brooks of Online Personals Watch did a guest post at TechCrunch about how the niche dating sites market share is growing fast while the top 5 sites for the most part are losing ground. The top 5 dating sites in market share, according to Hitwise are:

1. Singlesnet
2. Plentyoffish
3. True
4. Yahoo Personals
5. Match

These top 5 sites lost 7% of their overall market share when comparing Match 2008, with a year ago.

A student at Penn State posted a "My Opinion" piece called Internet dating sites unrealistic. She wrote a cynical view of online dating services and in my opinion never really gave them a chance. After viewing some profiles on Match.com she decide to write up a sexy profile under the alias "MeltNmyMouth69" (I have to admit, I laughed a bit at the name). She then proceeds to be surprised when she got a ton of winks (she had only signed up as a free member) from what she termed as Creepers. At the end of the story she proclaims:

You will not find love on the Internet.

If you truly are interested in a long term relationship then this is obviously the wrong approach. You have to take online dating seriously and put the time and effort into it. If you create a profile that is going to attract horny individuals, then of course this is who is going to contact you. Much the same way as if you are going to a bar dressed seductively, you are going to attract a certain type of guy. If this was not the type of men she wanted to attract then, of course her online dating experiment was going to fail.

I found two dating advice articles recently that are not too bad (most tend to be regurgitated fluff pieces). The first one is called "Truth About Dating: Do clothes make the man?" and can be found at Seacoastonline.com. The author talks about men's clothes in great detail. He examines how men perceive clothes and how woman perceive men's clothes, especially when dating. He also writes about the metrosexual men, what they are and where the term came from.

The second article called "In the dating game, everyone has a quirk that just won't work" from The Seattle Times looks into online dating and dating profile deal-breakers. Some deal-breaker examples are given as well as what the underlying causes may be from them. The author also looks at some of the personality traits of the people with certain deal breaker quirks.

We barely have time to pause and reflect these days on how far social communications technology has progressed. Without even taking a deep breath, we've transitioned from the telephone of our grandparents to email to chat to text messaging to blogs (MySpace) and online dating services (Match.com). The trend shows no signs of slowing the pace of change. New developments include instant mobile dating and a dating watchdog services.

Perhaps you don't want to wait til after work when you return home to your private computer or risk the ire of your employer if caught using your office computer for personal business. Perhaps you're traveling or have no immediate access to a computer when the mood strikes you to have a date for lunch in two hours. Fear not. Instant mobile dating services allow you to request and receive back within a few minutes via your cell, contacts who are close enough to your location (aren't GPS phones wonderful?) to meet you for lunch. You can text message potential dates to see if there is mutual interest.

Elizabeth had heard the success stories before; couples meeting their soul mates through online dating sites or other Internet meeting places. She had even heard of some such relationships that didn't work out. But she understood that even a couple introduced by relatives in the most traditional way, had no guaranty their relationship would last. What Elizabeth was not expecting, however, was the experience, yet to take place at her first face-to-face with Tony. Tony was a delightful guy she had been in close, maybe even intimate contact with, first by email then by phone, since their profiles were matched by an online dating site.

Normally Elizabeth would meet a first date at some mutually agreed public location. But since she had grown so close to Tony during the five weeks since their initial online contact, she felt safe allowing him to pick her up at her apartment. They planned to have pizza and beer at a downtown pub, and then play it by ear. When she opened her front door, she got her first surprise: his physical appearance. He appeared to be more like 42 than 29, and 220 lbs. rather than the 180 lbs. in his profile. But he was still a good-looking man. He introduced himself with smile and an extended right hand. The shock wearing off, Elizabeth returned the smile and her hand. She made a mental note to ask him about his older appearance once they were sitting at the pub, but then thought better of it. This question needs an answer now, not later this evening. Tony, still smiling, explained he had no current photos, so used an older one. His weight? Well, 180 lbs was what he weighed when the photo was taken; no need to confuse someone with conflicting weight and photo. Same for age. Same for receding hairline.

Elizabeth now had issues with Tony's honesty. He wasn't the person he pretended to be. But his age and weight were just the tip of the iceberg. Elizabeth exploded when she spotted the white band of skin on the ring finger of an otherwise tanned left hand. Tony took a deep breath. He admitted he was married but was getting a divorce. After some direct questions he further admitted he and his wife actually still lived in the same apartment. Why hadn't he moved out? Well, he had no money because he was "in-between jobs". That's when Tony hit her with the big question. "Since we have grown so close," he said, "I thought maybe I could move in here with you until I get on my feet. What do you think, honey?"

Does this type of encounter sound familiar? Can you be sure it will never happen to you? Who is going to warn you that the stranger trying to establish a personal relationship with you on the Internet or cellphone has a history of deception?

Today, Internet dating sites present a seemingly endless supply of possible dates. Social networking of people all over the world is now an enormous 175M with 163M from MySpace alone. However, there is no intermediary checking to keep anyone honest, as might happen if a relative, friend, or you meet at a physical social gathering.

Here is an interesting article for Fathers Day on dating online, for all the Dad's out there.

It seems that the preferred method of dating for single Dads is online dating. The article states, "Three-quarters of respondents said that online dating was the easiest way for single parents to meet others. Two-thirds said that online dating was a safer way to date. ". This makes sense for both single Moms and Dads, since our children make an already busy day much busier and not many people will then have time to meet people, except online.

Single Parents sites are slowly starting to take off, we have reviewed a few of them here:

I first saw this article mentioned on Online Personals Watch.

Online dating has opened the door to a whole new dating experience. People who choose online dating have not failed at the dating scene by rejecting conventional methods; they are just exploring their options. With today's technology and the world at your finger tips, there are virtually millions of different people all over the globe to choose from. You can browse pictures, flirt, and develop a friendship or even a romance by using an online dating service. When creating a profile once meant you had to place an ad in the newspaper and wait for a phone call, today's methods of dating uses the World Wide Web to bring thousands of couples together who would otherwise never even have met.

Here are a few suggestions for a positive online dating experience.

Find out what the other person is looking for. You want to at least start on the same page. If you're looking for love and definitely see children in your future and they are against having kids, then perhaps this relationship may have some difficulties from the start. Once you get over the easy questions, start asking questions that will give you more than just a three word answer. Ask about their goals, dreams, interest, and hobbies. This gives them the opportunity to give you more in-depth answers, a way to develop ongoing conversation, and also a way to find some common ground.

Having similar beliefs and values of course makes any relationship go smoother, but don't judge the other person negatively if their beliefs and values are slightly different from yours. The world is a big place, and not everyone is going to believe everything equally. Knowing and understanding this will make you more flexible and understanding of others.

Online dating provides you with the ability to remain anonymous and shop around until you find the right person that catches your eye. You can take your time and develop online communications with someone before taking that next step. The goal of online dating is the same as dating by conventional methods. Enjoy each other's company and get to know each other as friends and companions. But don't throw common sense out the window when meeting someone for the first time after long talks on the computer or phone. It is still wise for your first encounter to be at a very public place. Stay level headed and remain safe when it comes to giving out your personal information. Don't exchange personal information about yourself too soon just because they asked or sent you theirs. After all, one of the greatest benefits to online dating is conversation with strangers without the worry of someone following you home.