Safety

It seems dating site Plenty of Fish (POF) is staying true to its word of turning its image around. Known by many daters as a hook-up site, in the last couple of years the company's founder has promised that the site is cleaning up and wants to go back to its original purpose - helping singles meet people for relationships, not one-night stands.

The company recently shared on its blog exactly how they are enforcing their mission, and it seems they are doing this by deleting the accounts of members who violate site rules. According to POF, many users are in the dark about why their accounts are deleted, but they don't have the staff to respond to these requests individually. Just how many people are violating POF rules? About 5% of members, which considering the thousands of people signing up for the free site on a regular basis, amounts to more than its 75-person staff can handle. So, they decided to post the most common reasons on their blog.

Following are some of the rules that POF enforces. Be warned, if you violate their rules, the company claims that it can find out through its technology and advanced software. They can even detect if you're a scammer when you sign up.

Here are some reasons why your POF account may have been deleted:

1. You were looking for casual sex. The example the site gives is pretty cut and dry - one user was asking another user if he could pay her for having sex with him. While many lewd messages have double meaning and can be argued, if you are propositioning anyone on the site, you won't have your account for long.

2. You're married. The site is strict about this, and if POF discovers you are married, your account will be deleted.

3. You are a "scammer, a spammer, a fake, underage, or are soliciting a business." This can get a little murky, as scammers generally tend to hide beneath their online dating persona. But POF claims to catch 98% of them before they can even sign up on the website, captured through their "sophisticated spam detection system."

4. You are rude to users. If you put someone down because of how they look, or make discriminating remarks, or are blocked by other users often, you risk being deleted.

5. You post inappropriate photos. This includes the infamous "shirtless" photo that guys tend to gravitate to in online dating. If you are a woman, don't advertise your body with revealing clothing. If you question whether you should upload a particular photo, then don't.

6. You login from a country where POF doesn't exist yet. While POF is in many countries, they aren't in all and they can't support a user account in places where they aren't set up. So, check the site to see if your country is included before attempting to sign up.

Bad news for Cupid Media and more than 200,000 of its Australian users: the online dating company has been found in breach of privacy laws.

Cupid operates more than 35 niche dating websites, including ChristianCupid, MilitaryCupid, SingleParentLove and other sites based on ethnicity, religion and location. Australian Privacy Commissioner Timothy Pilgrim found Cupid Media breached the Privacy Act by failing to take reasonable steps to secure data held on its websites. As a result of Cupid’s lax approach to security, hackers gained access to the company’s webservers in January of last year and stole the personal information of about 245,000 users. The information included full name, date of birth, email addresses and passwords.

At the root of the security breach is Cupid’s failure to have a password encryption process in place. "Password encryption is a basic security strategy that may prevent unauthorised access to user accounts," said Commissioner Pilgrim. "Cupid insecurely stored passwords in plain text, and I found that to be a failure to take reasonable security steps as required under the Privacy Act."

The commissioner added that the Cupid Media fiasco illustrates the importance of correctly handling personal information that is no longer needed, either by securely destroying or de-identifying it. “Holding onto old personal information that is no longer needed does not comply with the Privacy Act and needlessly places individuals at risk," he explained. "Legally, organisations must identify out-of-date or unrequired personal information and have a system in place for securely disposing with it.”

While online dating companies certainly do need to fiercely protect the massive amounts of personal data they gather, it’s also up to the daters themselves to take the most secure approach possible to dating online. Anyone using an online dating site should regularly update their privacy settings and change their password. It’s also important to remain vigilant about limiting the personal information you share. Only the bare minimums required should be posted online, or you risk becoming the victim of identity theft or a scam.

Commissioner Pilgrim noted that, on the plus side, "Cupid's vulnerability-testing processes did allow it to identify the hack and respond quickly." The company has addressed the security concerns and the investigation is now closed, but the commissioner warns against future attacks: “Hacks are a continuing threat these days, and businesses need to account for that threat when considering their obligation to keep personal information secure."

It’s hard to imagine an Internet in which The Onion doesn’t exist. As far as satirical news is concerned, no one does it better. In a post from spring, The Onion took on online dating and…well…the results are exactly as hilarious as you'd expect them to be.

The Onion’s top tips for finding love online include:

• It’s important to choose an interesting profile picture that reflects the “real you” persona that you’ve cooked up, like a photo of you hiking or at a volunteer event.
• To stand out in a sea of suitors, include something in your profile completely unique to you, like your social security number and checking account information.
• Be willing to open yourself up to new experiences, like going on a series of terrible dates with men you despise.
• Personal details give potential dates a more accurate picture of who you are. Be specific in your profile by mentioning the exact episode and scene that made you give up on Lost.
• Humor is a huge asset in any dating profile. Be charmingly self-deprecating with lines like “I have a soft spot for reality television” and “I’m a bad listener because I’m wrapped up in my own childish self-obsession and do nothing to improve myself.”
• Remember to relax and have fun! Sometimes, the moment you stop worrying about finding that perfect match is the moment you’ll open your email and find an absolutely vulgar and disgusting email from a complete stranger.

So yes, they’re funny…but The Onion’s tips aren’t quite as useless as you think, as long as you’re willing to read between the lines. Look at it this way:

• Photos are a great way to show your personality without have to write about it, which can be tedious to do and boring to read. Choose photos that show you doing what you love, like playing an instrument, traveling the world, or attending a NASCAR race.
• Safety should be taken seriously. Don’t put any identifying information on profile. That includes everything from your phone number to your work address to, yes, your SSN and checking account info.
• Online dating doesn’t work unless you come to it with an open mind. Take a chance on someone who doesn’t immediately tick off every one of your boxes. You might be surprised.
• Including unique personal details is a great way to attract the attention of likeminded suitors. Not everyone will understand your Doctor Who reference if you’re a sci-fi fan, but the ones who do might be better matches for you.
• Humor is a huge asset in a dating profile…just make sure it’s actually funny.
• Remember to relax and have fun! Sometimes, the moment you stop worrying about finding that perfect match is the moment you’ll open your email…and actually find that perfect match.

See? The Onion’s dating advice isn’t nearly as useless as it should be.

Experts say that the vast majority of our interpersonal communication takes place via body language. When people claim that "It's not what you say, it's how you say it," they’re right. Words are important, but gestures, tone of voice, and facial expressions speak volumes more than audible language.

That means, when it comes to online dating and any other online interactions, we’re at a huge disadvantage. With so much room for ambiguity and misinterpretation, we often find ourselves wondering what is fact and what is fiction. And despite our suspicions, more often than not we choose to believe what we're told. Experts call this our "truth bias." When online dating, that means we want to believe messages from attractive potential suitors – even when we shouldn’t.

Tyler Cohen Wood, an intelligence officer and cyber branch chief at the Defense Intelligence Agency's Science and Technology Directorate, and author of the 2014 book Catching the Catfishers: Disarm the Online Pretenders, Predators and Perpetrators Who Are Out to Ruin Your Life says it’s possible to catch online liars in the act because they're often bad at it. Look for these signs:

• Emphatic Language: Emphatic language isn't always a sign of lying, but it is an indication that the person really wants you to believe what is being said. This is also the case when a person repeats something over and over in slightly different ways. They wouldn't use emphatic language unless it was really important to them.
• Unanswered Questions: You ask a question. The other person dodges it or changes the subject. There are other possible explanations (they may not want to hurt your feelings, or be afraid of how you will receive their answer, etc) but they could be keeping something from you.
• Distancing Language: In person, someone may unconsciously distance themselves from another person by crossing their arms in front of their body. In writing, the same effect can be achieved by omitting personal pronouns and personal references in stories.
• Noncommittal Statements: "Pretty sure." "Probably." "Maybe." "Must have." These noncommittal statements are all red flags that leave an escape route for the speaker.
• Qualifying Statements: These expressions come before the most important part of the sentiment. “To be honest.” “I hate to say this.” They indicate that the person is uncomfortable with what they're going to say next.
• Tense hopping. Someone describing an event that already happened naturally uses the past tense. But, if part of the way through the story they begin fabricating, it can often cause an unintentional switch to the present tense.

Note: Just one of these is likely a misunderstanding or an honest mistake. But if you notice multiple things on the list, then it’s time to be suspicious.

What’s one of the biggest reasons online dating detractors say the Internet is no way to meet a decent date?

The high creep factor, of course. And to be honest, anyone who has tried online dating for more than a day would probably find it difficult to totally disagree. Online dating is an incredible innovation, but there’s no denying it comes with its fair share of strangeness.

A little weirdness is either entertaining or mildly irritating, but what if it goes beyond “a little?” That’s where CreepShield comes in, a new service that helps users avoid the creeps and the crazies online using facial recognition technology .

"Criminals often hide behind aliases online, but CreepShield uses facial recognition software to check for facial similarities and brings up potential matches from a database of over 475,000 registered sex offenders," explained CreepShield's creator Kevin Alan Tussy. "We see facial recognition as a tool that can definitely help make online dating safer. While this technology can't identify everyone out there with bad intentions, it's a huge step in the right direction."

To use the service, simply copy the URL of any headshot and paste it into the CreepShield search engine. The photo is instantly scanned against images in a database of convicted sex offenders, looking for a match. In addition to CreepShield.com, there is also a CreepShield Chrome extension if you prefer to research dates on the fly. Once installed, the extension allows users to right click on any jpg, png or gif displayed in the browser and select "Scan with CreepShield" from the dropdown menu.

CreepShield was developed by the team responsible for the extremely controversial Google Glass app "NameTag." The app and its powerful facial recognition technology were big news earlier this year when Senator Al Franken publicly requested that its release be delayed. With that project put on the backburner, CreepShield came to the forefront.

It’s an intriguing idea, and it’s hard to argue with something that could make online dating safer, but the service still has a few kinks to work out. The site’s FAQ stresses that, due to the way facial recognition technology works, CreepShield can’t guarantee its matches. “It is always up to the user to decide whether or not a searched photo contains the same individual as the results presented,” the site reads. And indeed, when put to the test, it seems the searching method leaves something to be desired.

What do you think? Would you use CreepShield to get the deets on a date?

We’ve been warned of scandals when it comes to online dating. Some people post fake profiles and create stories of financial hardship to extract money or financial information from other users, hoping to cash in on someone’s vulnerability or desire for love. This can compromise our security, but it’s within our control to not respond or to report the abuse. But what about the information we voluntarily offer without even knowing how it will be used?

Mobile dating and location-based apps operate and match you with others according to where you physically are, which means they need to collect data from you, usually through your phone’s GPS. But then what happens to the information? Is it used only for matching purposes to benefit the users of the site, or are companies using this valuable information in other ways?

New legislation aims to protect users from themselves and the online dating sites who collect location and other personal information. Senator Al Franken is leading the charge, advocating for more privacy for users.

"This stuff is advancing at a faster and faster rate, and we've got to try and catch up," Franken tells USA Today. "This is about Americans' right to privacy and one of the most private things is your location."

Considering how many people have used online dating sites – a recent Pew report indicated 38% of singles – it makes sense that companies offering services for daters operate with security and privacy in mind. Unfortunately, most people don’t realize how much information they are voluntarily sharing when they sign up and post photos on their phone.

Members also might not realize what information a dating website or app is collecting about them and their social media networks, say if a Facebook login is used to sign up. Though most companies will outline what information they can collect about you and your friends, the fine print is often overlooked by users just trying to download and check out a new app.

A few states require online dating sites to disclose whether they conduct criminal background checks on members, including Illinois, New York, New Jersey and Texas. eHarmony, Match, and Sparks Networks signed an agreement with the California District Attorney’s office in 2012 to check subscribers against national sex offender registries and provide a rapid abuse reporting system for members. Security precautions are being taken to protect users, but legislators like Al Franken and privacy advocates don’t think it’s enough.

Rainey Reitman of the San Francisco, Calif.-based Electronic Frontier Foundation, a nonprofit that advocates for user privacy amid technology development, told USA Today: "People don't realize how much information they're exposing even by doing something as slight as uploading a photograph. Many online apps are very cavalier about collecting that information and perhaps exposing it in a way that would make you uncomfortable."