Safety

The rise in popularity of Bye Felipe isn’t accidental – it’s due to more and more women speaking out about unwanted or even abusive messages they receive through dating apps and online dating sites.

Online dating has become mainstream, thanks to the rise in popularity of dating apps like Tinder, which have made it easier to meet people now more than ever. However, along with all of these new opportunities (and new people joining the game) come some unwanted messages and trolls looking for a platform to vent their anger rather than connect with someone.

Most of us (especially women) have been subjected to some unwanted or even abusive behavior online. We receive messages propositioning for sex without even meeting face-to-face first, or abusive messages claiming that we are untrustworthy, shallow, ugly, etc. from men we’ve only exchanged a couple of text messages with. This can be shocking, hurtful, and even scary – turning many victims off of online dating altogether.

It’s only natural for online daters to wonder what exactly they are signing up for when they experience this kind of abusive behavior.

Unfortunately, because some people are skeptical of the effectiveness of online dating, a few abusive emails are enough to write off the whole practice. But this is the wrong approach. It’s better instead to look at online dating as a whole, rather than just its worst aspects (and worst customers).

Instead of looking at all the online connections that are positive (or even ordinary), we tend to focus on the messages that have been upsetting, suggestive, and otherwise unwanted. We dwell on the negative, confirming our fears about meeting people online. But the truth is, millions of matches are made every day with no abuse, and no fanfare either. The vast majority of matches are between ordinary people looking for real-life relationships. If we get caught up in the actions of a small percentage of trolls, we miss opportunities.

We should not ignore the problem. Clearly, online dating sites have to clean up the process to be able to filter out this kind of bad behavior. A lot more work needs to be done.

But if you want a chance to meet people outside of your current networks of friends, family and co-workers, online dating is your best opportunity. But be smart in your approach. Research different websites and apps. Obviously apps like Tinder are very popular, but that means they also attract a lot of dating trolls. If you are looking for something more serious, you might want to invest in a site like eHarmony where there is more of a screening process among users.

Don’t give up on online dating because of a few bad apples. Give it another chance. Try a new site. Ask your friends to help. These small steps should help you improve your overall experience. For more information on the services mentioned you can read our Tinder review and our eHarmony review.

There are some things in life it's ok to be afraid of. Jumping out of a plane? Terrifying. Knocking down a hornets' nest? Traumatic. Online dating? Not so much.

You've heard all the horror stories – from benign bad dates to to psycho stalkers and unscrupulous scammers – and it's easy to let them scare you off. But first, let's address one simple issue: all dating is terrifying. No matter what, it always feels at least a little unsettling to let a stranger into your life. Not to mention how frightening it is to think about the potential heartbreak that could be waiting at the end.

So let's start by agreeing that online dating isn't any scarier than offline dating. And then let's take things a step further: online dating may actually be less scary than offline dating.

Really? Yes, really. Here are a few reasons why:

1. Technology is actually helping to make dating safer. When it comes to privacy, “there's an app for that.” There's no need to give out your number to strangers if you don't want to, because more and more companies are popping up that facilitate calls between people without divulging phone numbers. Other companies offer disposable, temporary virtual numbers than can be used instead of your real phone number. Background checks are also becoming an increasingly popular service, both from 3^rd party providers and from some dating sites themselves.
2. Rejection is easier when you aren't face to face. Hearing no (or maybe nothing at all) is never fun, but it hurts a whole lot less when it's between you and a profile instead of you and a person. If you have a hard time opening up to someone or even speaking to someone in the first place because you fear the possibility of rejection, online dating can significantly ease the sting. Think of it as a buffer than softens blow, allowing you to take even greater risks. Because with great risk comes great reward, right?
3. You actually know when you're dating someone. The idea of clarity around dating went out the window when the 21^st century hit. These days no one seems to know if they're actually dating or just “hanging out.” Good luck establishing intimacy with someone when you don't even know who you are to each other. When you've met on an online dating site, however, there's no ambiguity. That first meeting is definitely a date.

Technology is making everything else easier, so it's no surprise it's making dating easier too. Not so scary after all, is it?

Antidate may be the antidote to disappointing mobile dating. At least, that's what they hope to be.

The dating app space is obviously exploding (thanks primarily to Tinder, but also apps like Happn and Hinge). The latest contender to enter the ring is Antidate, which hopes to knockout the competition with its asymmetric, gender-skewed approach to the dating app experience.

Here's the twist: male users are visible to women within the app (and their location is plotted on a map), but women aren't visible until they indicate interest in someone (by initiating a conversation, for example, or clicking a guy's profile). This strategy allows women to filter out unwanted advances while men get to sit back, relax, and let the ladies take the lead.

"When we first talked about a dating app, Tinder hadn’t launched and the only mobile dating apps we knew about were the gay ones like Grindr. We knew girls wouldn’t want to be viewable on a map so came up with the idea of an asymmetric experience for guys and girls,” co-founder Mo Saha told TechCrunch.

Saha saw benefits for both sides in Antidate's concept. Women could feel safer, knowing that their location information would never be revealed, and could avoid receiving messages from men they weren't interested in. Men who were tired of always making the first move could use the app to reverse the typical dating dynamic. “We also knew that online dating conversations are five times more likely to continue if started by a girl,” Saha noted. Win-win-win.

Antidate is still in the early stages, but it has a few other interesting tricks up its sleeve that might help it get noticed, such as:

• A real-time selfie requirement that time stamps photos, to eliminate the problem of people posting out-of-date photos to their profiles
• A rating feature, so users can indicate how much someone they met in real life looks like their photos
• Ephemeral messaging, so communications between potential dates disappear after 24 hours
• An Instagram usage requirement, which filters (no pun intended) the pool of prospective users and targets a younger, more social crowd

Although it's been in development for around 2 years, Antidate has only been out in beta on iOS for a few months. A full version launched recently and a marketing push is planned for the December holidays. Keep an eye out for what could be your new favorite dating app in 2015.

The FTC has filed its first lawsuit against an online dating company, accusing UK-based JDI Dating of luring customers to pay money through fake profiles the company created.

A settlement between the FTC and JDI Dating prohibits the company from using fake profiles and requires it to refund more than $616,000 to customers. JDI operates 18 websites including cupidswand.com, flirtcrowd.com and findmelove.com.

According to a press release distributed by the FTC on the matter, JDI was tricking customers by offering them a free plan and allowing them to set up profiles and upload photos. Once customers completed this process, they began to receive messages supposedly from other users, but were unable to respond until they bought a paid membership. Membership for the sites ranged anywhere from $10 to $30 per month.

Unfortunately, the profiles that usually attracted paying customers were often virtually generated, so once new members were paying for their subscriptions, they weren't able to communicate with the matches they thought they were getting - because they never existed.

“JDI Dating used fake profiles to make people think they were hearing from real love interests and to trick them into upgrading to paid memberships,” said Jessica Rich, Director of the FTC’s Bureau of Consumer Protection.

The prevalence of fake profiles has long been an issue for online daters, but this new lawsuit is finally shedding some legal light on the problem. Because of this, more online dating companies will probably be re-thinking their freemium services (attracting users with free services and later asking them to pay for certain "privileges" on the site.) Freemium services are often based on how many members join the site - numbers are key in the online dating world, because high numbers attract more people. The more valuable a company's user database, the more likely people would be willing to pay for their matches, because they feel that they are getting more choices.

In addition to generating fake profiles, the FTC found that JDI was also misleading consumers about payments. The company did not inform customers that subscriptions would have recurring charges until the customer canceled the service (which was tricky to find on the site), so many people paid for the site after they stopped using it without realizing it.

Rich added, “Users were charged automatically to renew their subscriptions – often without their consent.”

Again, this is a common practice among online dating sites. Several do have recurring charges, and it's often difficult to figure out how and where on a site to fully cancel services and erase your profile. For example, free dating sites like Plenty of Fish have kept profiles of members who are no longer using the service without clearly explaining to customers how to fully delete them. Although they are not charging for their services, it could be misleading to other daters.

The FTC lawsuit is a positive step in helping companies in the online dating industry clean up their databases and be more honest with the services they provide. We'll see if other companies are named in the future.

Dating app Tinder has had to deal with a lot of security issues, despite the app’s verification system using Facebook Connect.  In theory, because of Facebook’s security measures, only “real people” can join Tinder, so users can sign up with some reassurance the profiles they'll encounter will be real. But lately, this has not been the case.

Spammers and scammers have been able to lure users away from Tinder and onto their sites, typically, with spam bots - fake accounts pretending to be real people that flirt with users in order to redirect them to adult sites - and take their money. In the past, Tinder users could block profiles, but they couldn’t report spam.

According to website Tech Crunch, things have changed. Users can now not only block accounts but also report spam. Tinder also made a technical update to address the issue, and the update was effective at cutting down on the in-app spam. Unfortunately, the spam bots just found another avenue - SMS. Phone spam for Tinder users skyrocketed.

Instead of luring Tinder users away while they are inside the app, the spam bots changed their scripts and started collecting mobile numbers from the users, sending those users text messages with links to the spammers’ websites. 

It can be really misleading for users to receive text messages from spammers who are pretending to be people. One example Tech Crunch used that came from a spam bot read like this: “sorry my phone’s almost dead and out of mins too. If you go on Tinderpages.com ill be there. Im sweetgirl4u on it. Sorry its free tho if you confirm your email.”

Tinder is still racking up complaints, so it seems the technical update hasn’t actually made a difference. According to security researchers, this is beacuse Tinder was successful in getting rid of the in-app spam bots but not the spam bots themselves. Lead researcher Raj Bandyopadhyay explained to how they conducted their research, and what it meant for Tinder:

“Our topic modeler looks for phone number related complaints, and then classifies them using Data Scientist to validate correlation. In this case, we isolated complaints related to Tinder, and then compared them to historical complaints. This gives us a high degree of confidence that the spike is specific to Tinder activity and not just an overall spike in spam. In addition, it is important to re-emphasize that this is a pattern we have frequently seen – fraudsters migrating to phone after being thwarted online.”

So it seems text messages are becoming the spam bot avenue of choice, since online technology has improved so much. Now, mobile security needs to catch up.

These days, it's almost hard to believe that online dating wasn't always part of our lives. It feels seamlessly integrated into our daily routines - to the point that it's even infiltrated our phones - but in reality the industry didn't get its start until the late 90s and the road to 2014 was far from smooth.

In the early days of online dating, it was quietly laughed at by the polite and openly scorned by the impolite. It was viewed as an impersonal way to find love, and using an online dating site came with a heaping spoonful of stigma. But over time, a new generation of tech savvy singles arose and with them came a revolution.

Now daters of all kinds, young and old alike, have discovered the benefits of using online dating services and the industry has exploded around the world. As always, with success come new challenges. Online dating still faces criticism, and someone is always ready and willing to tell a horror story of a first date gone awry. Complaints are registered about fake profiles and less-than-truthful users who conceal their identities. Scammers have used online dating sites to cheat people out of thousands.

Online dating is now facing the challenge of maintaining the safety and protecting the privacy of its users – a task that becomes increasingly difficult as more and more of them join dating sites. Different countries are approaching the problem in different ways. In the US, laws have been passed that require background checks for new users. In Singapore, the government acted as a matchmaker through the Social Development Network. In the UK, the Online Dating Association was founded by industry members to take collective responsibility for regulations.

All of these have been important steps towards creating a regulatory framework that will address the issues facing online dating as it continues to expand. Primary among those issues is the rise of mobile dating. Many major dating sites now have a mobile component, and there are plenty of services that are only mobile applications.

The key word here is "innovation." As an increasing number of competitors enter the market, online dating services are forced to get more creative. Creativity is a great thing, but it too comes with challenges. As dating services explore uncharted territory, they will encounter new questions about security and privacy. If dating services want to be here for the long haul, they'll have to match technological innovation with regulatory innovation.