General News

When there's something we don't understand, we turn to science for an explanation...and there are few things we find more confusing than sex, love, and relationships. Science hasn't cracked all their secrets yet but it's certainly making headway, most recently in a study published in the Journal of Sex Research.

The study, "Sexual Transformations and Intimate Behaviors in Romantic Relationships," sought to examine the connections between sexual transformations (changes in sexual behavior for a partner), intimate behaviors, and relationship quality among couples in romantic relationships.

The findings indicate that relationship satisfaction is positively associated with three things:

• Your partner's frequent sexual transformations
• Your positive feelings about your own sexual transformations
• Intimate behavior between partners

The study also found that, in less intimate relationships, relationship satisfaction is greater when partners undergo more sexual transformations.

Let's break it down.

Dan Savage says that the ideal partner is GGG - Good (in bed), Giving (of equal time and pleasure), and Game (for anything - within reason). Although the sexual transformations study wasn't specifically testing Savage's claim, it seems to have proved that being "game for anything - within reason" is an important way to contribute to intimacy and satisfaction in a relationship.

To study sexual transformations, researchers asked 96 heterosexual couples about changes they had made for their partners regarding often they have sex, the kinds of sexual activities they engage in, and how they communicate about sex and intimacy. Participants also shared their feelings about these changes and discussed the frequency with which they engaged in affectionate behaviors, like cuddling and kissing, with their partners.

The highest levels of satisfaction weren't linked to an individual's sexual transformations, but rather with the sexual transformations of an individual's partner. In other words, it's not your sexual transformations that make you happy - it's your partner's.

When you think about it, it makes perfect sense. When you observe your partner making adjustments in order to adapt to your needs - like switching up the frequency of sexual activity - you feel heard, respected, and rewarded in your relationship. What's not to love about that?

The study also found that participants who felt most positive about the changes they made reported higher levels of relationship satisfaction. Again, it all makes perfect sense - when we see that the changes we've made have made our partner happy, we become happier in return. It's a beautiful thing!

The bottom line is that we should all approach relationships and sexuality with an open mind and an open heart. Communicate your interests, explore your partner's needs, and be willing to be a little game.

JDate.com is a popular Jewish dating site that has been in business since 1997. We have just finished updating our JDate review with the latest information about what the service offers to its members, and the features it provides which will make your online dating experience not only eventful but exciting. The last major update to this review happened just over 2 years ago. So what has changed since 2010 with JDate.com? Here is a list of the major changes we found:

• JDate now offers a mobile website and iPhone dating app
• For most subscription terms it is now much cheaper to use JDate
• No more audio or video chatting
• Kibitz Corner - Tell members more about yourself and catch someone’s eye with your witty or profound response
• Redesigned member dashboard that allows for easier navigation and searching
• Updated dating profile and color code personality test questions
• Revamped Likes & Interests
• JMag and JBlog are updated much more frequently. A lot more JDate Videos are now available

To find out more about this popular Jewish dating site and the changes please read our updated JDate.com review.

If you've tuned into any sitcoms lately, you probably think the male breakup looks something like this: dump/get dumped, shrug shoulders, get drunk, go home with as many new women as possible.

Sure, that's the story for some men, but is it the story for all men? Or even the majority of men?

If you ask Brian Alexander, co-author of The Chemistry Between Us: Love, Sex, and the Science of Attraction, the answer is a definite no. According to Brian, breakups are actually tougher for men than they are for women.

He cites a neurochemical called vasopressin as the reason men have more trouble moving on. Thanks to vasopressin, Alexander explains in a Glamour article, "men in crisis are more likely to see other men as less approachable." On the other hand, "that same chemical cues women to see other women as more approachable."

What that means is that when a woman is at her most vulnerable, other women are moved to engage in "tend-and-befriend behavior." Women console other women after a breakup ("You deserve so much better," "He was a jerk," "You're way too hot for him," etc.), making it much easier to deal with the end of the relationship. Men lack that kind of social support from their male friends, forcing them to deal with the breakup alone.

Another reason breakups are more difficult for men, says Alexander, is that they regard their lover as their emotional home. The release of vasopressin and oxytocin during sex connects a man with his partner, causing him to form "a bond with [her] that's kind of like an animal claiming a home; [her] scent, [her] eye color, even [her] apartment all become cues that make him crave [her]."

The release of vasopressin also causes men to view their partners as their "territory." It's certainly not PC, but it's a biologically-rooted instinct that men can't suppress. Add the effects of vasopressin together and it's no wonder so many men have a hard time letting go!

With their emotional anchors gone, Alexander writes, men can become "emotionally homeless." It can be so bad, in fact, that some men suffer severe health consequences after a split. Studies have shown that divorced men have lower immune function than married men. Divorced men are also are statistically more likely than divorced women to be hospitalized or die at a younger age.

So do men have it harder than women when it comes to breakups? They just might.

When online dating first came along, everyone was horrified. "Meeting someone? Online? Sounds like a service for freaks and losers and axe murderers."

Then we all warmed up to the idea. "Online dating? It's awesome. You can meet people from all over the world without leaving your couch and you don't have to spend every Saturday night deflecting losers at the bar."

Now online dating seems almost...old-fashioned. Dating algorithms and static profiles nearly feel like a thing of the past, while low-key social networking is all the rage.

Zoosk, from day one, has managed to take the best of online dating and merge it with social networking, creating a site that's always ahead of the curve and stands a real chance of becoming the future of modern romance. Shayan Zadeh, co-founder and co-CEO of Zoosk, recently had a chat with The Washington Times about where online dating is heading and what Zoosk is doing to stay on top of the game.

Zoosk's strategy is about one thing and one thing only: staying competitive. Zoosk began on the Facebook platform in 2007, then expanded into a website and mobile dating as the market changed. "We've focused on bringing together the best aspects of social networking (like news feed, live chat and video conversations) to the world of online romance," said Zadeh, ensuring that Zoosk is always relevant.

Now the market is changing again, and Zoosk is adapting to keep up. The question Zadeh and Zoosk are currently working to answer is "How could we keep Zoosk members engaged with the site, even after they found love?

Their solution - Couple Profiles - was launched in April. Couple Profiles give couples - whether or not they originally met on Zoosk - a "dedicated place to celebrate their relationship online" where they can "share photos and relationship milestones, like anniversaries, vacations and special events, with family and friends." Zoosk is aiming to turn itself into a "romantic social network," not just a dating site.

"We really see social networking for couples as being the next evolution of modern romance," explained Zadeh. A survey found that 77% of Zoosk members use technology to connect with their partners throughout the day (the majority interacted with their significant others 3 or more times each day). That's a massive market that Zoosk intends to conquer, with the new Couple Profiles feature and its mobile services.

The days of romantic social networking may have just begun, but I like the idea already. Can't wait to see where it goes.

To find out more about this popular dating site you can read our Zoosk.com review.

When you're dating, it's easy to fall into unhealthy patterns, especially when things aren't going your way. Do you tend to complain about your bad dates with your friends? Maybe you get together over drinks to whine about the latest round of awful dating experiences or the state of your love lives. While it feels good to let off some steam, could it actually be making things worse?

According to Trevor Blake, an entrepreneur and author of Three Simple Steps: A Map to Success in Business and Life, listening to too much complaining is bad for your brain. In a recent interview for Inc. Magazine, he outlines how neuroscientists have learned to measure brain activity when faced with various stimuli, including a long gripe session.

For instance, his research shows that exposure to 30 minutes or more of negativity actually peels away neurons in the brain's hippocampus. "That's the part of your brain you need for problem solving," he says. "Basically, it turns your brain to mush."

Worse than that, Blake claims the brain acts like a muscle, and the more we are around someone who's negative the more we act that way ourselves.

So how do you protect yourself from all of that negativity, especially when you feel a need to vent? Following are some of his suggestions:

Distance yourself. Blake says to look at complaining like second-hand smoking. Just because you're not doing it yourself doesn't mean that it's not affecting you. Instead of sitting in a room with a complainer and passively listening to their rant, remove yourself, sooner than later.

Find a solution. This is not so easy to do. Blake suggests you try asking the complainer what he or she would do to fix the problem. Usually when someone leans toward complaining, they aren't looking for a solution - they are looking for other people to listen and sympathize with their rants. But throwing the question out there might help them get the hint that you're not willing to listen to their problems anymore unless they do something about it.

Protect yourself. There's nothing wrong with a little creative visualization. If you can picture yourself in another location that you find relaxing - like an island or beach, it will help keep your mind from absorbing all the negativity. You could also picture a shield protecting you from the negative chatter around you - much like athletes do during tense moments in a game. It helps to block out the noise from the crowd when you have an invisible protective barrier around you.

Bottom line: be aware of the complainers in your life, especially if you are one yourself! It's time to start protecting yourself from negative energy.

We have added a new review to the Social Networks dating category for the site Meetup. Like the other Social Networks that we have reviewed, Meetup is not strictly a dating or singles site. Meetup allows visitors to find various types of local groups in their neighbourhood. These groups have topics that range from fitness and hobbies, to businesses helping businesses. A large number of groups Meetup has though deal with singles looking to meet other singles. That is why we thought Meetup would be a good site to review since it does offer a way for singles to meet locally both online and off.

To find out more about this popular free group networking site please read our new Meetup review now.