Technology

Looking for a new dating app? It’s not hard to find something besides Tinder – it seems a new dating app launches every week, each with its own particular spin. But the new U.K. launch of dating app Once has got my attention, because it offers something the other apps don’t – real human matchmakers in place of computer algorithms. (We are now going back to basics with online dating.)

Once works like this: once every 24 hours, users will get a hand-picked match to either decline or accept within the next 24 hours. Dates are carefully chosen using several criteria, including interests, looks and personal preferences.

With Once, there is no auto-swiping or endless browsing or location matching like you find on apps like Tinder because the match is personally curated. But it also means as a dater, you have to have patience, because you only get one match a day.  After all, the human matchmakers have a lot of other people to cater to, not just you, and this takes time.

But patience can work in your favor, and often leaves you more interested to tuning in and seeing who your featured match will be. Chances are, you’ll accept more matches when you don’t have an endless array of potential dates to choose from – and because it’s a bit more personal, instead of computer-generated choices. The thinking is that you and your hand-picked date will have some things in common, and the likelihood of relationship success will be greater. The jury is still out on this, as Once hasn’t been on the market long enough to see results.

The dating app recently launched in France, and managed to gain 100,000 users in only a couple of weeks. Once has now launched in the UK, where real-life matchmakers will be picking daters to match in London.

"People are fed up with having just to sit and swipe through hundreds of people in the hope that they might find one person who they like and then start a conversation with," said Jean Meyer, the CEO and founder of Once in an interview with Mashable. He also noted the time-saving aspect of his app: “With Once, we’re taking that responsibility on ourselves, and are handpicking great people for London’s time-starved daters.”

While Once is available in France and the UK on both iOS and Android devices, there is no news yet on the app’s roll-out in other countries. Perhaps this adds to its mystique, to keep daters guessing. Dating Sites Reviews will keep you updated as we learn more.

There’s no doubt about it: online dating has become even more popular, and at the same time, more frustrating than ever. Believe it or not, there is a correlation between the two.

Dating apps work very similarly to a game. You swipe left and right, amassing lots of matches to your dating bank account, and feeling great. More people, more possibilities. But in reality – how many of your matches are you actually going out with? How many send you messages, and how many respond to yours? Unfortunately, more often than not, the numbers are low. (Or worse – female daters tend to be the recipients of unwanted and aggressive texts.)

So what do we do with this information? Do we declare this to be "the end of dating" along with The New York Times? Do we delete those apps from our phones, as one writer for website Bustle has declared she will do?

You do have the option to drop out of online dating altogether, but I would argue for keeping it a part of how you meet people to date. Dating apps are here to stay, so it's time to embrace them. But we also need to learn how to date - in real life.

The problem doesn't lie with dating apps per se - technology in general is changing how we behave and interact. People are spending more time updating and commenting on their social media accounts than they are having actual conversations or meeting up with people IRL. Take a look at any bar or restaurant, and inevitably you see a group of people at a table, and none of them are talking to each other – they are staring at their phones.

There is an element of social anxiety that comes along with dating, but our phones are giving us an easy way out, rather than learning to overcome this anxiety. It’s much easier to drop a conversation online than try to think of something witty to say. And the thought of making small talk on a first date for half an hour can terrify many young daters who have grown accustomed to safely hiding behind their phones.

Instead of complaining about the technology, it’s time to do something about what we would like to see in the dating world. Ask someone out on a real date. Pick up the phone and have a conversation, don’t just text until one of you drops off. And if you don’t get a response? On to the next.

Most people want to find a connection to someone else. Online dating provides a way to meet people, not a way to actually date them. Instead, the search for connection is totally left up to us – a scary thought. (Why can’t we just blame the dating apps for peoples’ behavior?)

If you want your online dating experience to change, you first need to change your own approach to it. Don’t endlessly swipe. Talk to more people over the phone or in person. Look them in the eye when you are having a conversation. Don’t become distracted by your phone, or lean on it like a crutch when you get bored. Learn the art of making conversation, of flirting. Practice it!

There’s no shame in asking someone out, and to follow through and go on a real date. In fact, it’s the only thing that will lead to a real-life relationship.

Practically every business is expected to have a social media presence in 2015. When your business is a digital one, that pressure doubles. When your target audience is millennials, it triples. Dating services are all about helping people make social connections, but how socially savvy are they on their own profiles?

Digiday used proprietary data from two social media analytics firms, Unmetric and Socialbakers, to pit seven dating apps against each other in the battle for most effective social media strategy. Tinder, OkCupid, Hinge, Match.com, Zoosk, Coffee Meets Bagel and Bumble were put to the test in several different categories.

Number Of Fans

With over 13 million million Facebook likes, Zoosk has the largest social media fan base. Match and Tinder follow with over 827,000 and 369,000 fans, respectively. Twitter shows similar stats. Zoosk has the most followers by far at over 350,000. Match comes in second, with 65,000, and Tinder in third, with over 56,000.

Although Tinder currently has the smallest fan base, it's also the most rapidly growing. The game-changing dating app saw its fan base grow 228 percent between January and October 2015.

Geographical Popularity

Tinder, Hinge, OkCupid, Match and Zoosk all have an international crop of users, but Tinder and Zoosk are the most diverse on social. In fact, the majority of Zoosk's Facebook fans are international.

Other services proved to be particularly popular in specific countries. Hinge is big in India, while Match is favored by Canadians and Tinder has won over Brazilian singles.

Engagement Level

Zoosk is the most prolific poster on social media. The company published 226 posts between January and October, and received the most likes and comments. Despite Zoosk's high volume, Tinder took the top spot for highest average engagement and most posts shared by fans.

Bumble is a relative newcomer to the dating world, but already it's showing promise on social. The app saw over 3,000 interactions with fans on Facebook between July and October. The numbers are expected to grow.

Number Of Fan Posts And Mentions

Match.com's users are the most likely to talk about it on Facebook. More than 9,000 messages were posted to Match's wall between January and October. Hinge and Coffee Meets Bagel come next. Neither Tinder nor OkCupid had user posts on their Facebook walls. Their page settings most likely do not allow it.

Tinder leads the number of mentions on Twitter, perhaps because Twitter's audience skews younger than Facebook and Tinder attracts a similarly youthful user base. The app is followed by Zoosk and Match.com, which come in second and third with around 8,000 and 2,000 mentions apiece.

Tired of Tinder and endless swiping that leads nowhere? While the dating app is popular, it’s leaving most online daters a little cold. Many come across fake profiles, or they match with someone only to have them disappear before actually meeting in person. And then there is the whole hook-up reputation.

So what is an online dater to do? New dating apps like The Grade and Bumble are setting out to alleviate online dating fatigue by putting their resources into creating more quality matches, so users can have a better overall experience. Specifically, these apps analyze and the behavior of their own members, so other users can see how they rate.

Bumble, founded by former Tinder co-founder Whitney Wolfe, aims to give power back to female daters. Bumble only allows the woman to reach out and make the first move – not the guy. So she is in control of the dating experience. A recent article in International Business Times revealed that a new feature Bumble will be rolling out is a verification program called “VIBee” -- a system that rewards users with a badge if they have good behavior on the app. The feature will aim to discourage users from nonstop swiping (left or right), and from spam messaging. If a match sees you have the badge, you’re more likely to be contacted – or so the thinking goes.

The Grade operates in a similar fashion, and as the name suggests – grades people on their behavior while using the app. The grading system is three-fold: you are "graded" based on how complete your profile is, how long it takes you to respond to messages, and the quality of the messages you send. In other words, the app will analyze message quality, including length, spelling mistakes, slang and hostile words and then assign you a letter grade, like in school. Unfortunately, it doesn’t really check context, so while some words might be “red flags” in certain contexts but not others, you could be penalized for using them at all.

Founders of The Grade pride themselves on the fact that they are weeding daters out based on how they behave. With about 100,000 downloads of The Grade so far, approximately 1,000 have been expelled and 2,000 are in danger of “failing.”

Cliff Lerner, founder of The Grade, told International Business Times: “We’re not saying we’re going to take on Tinder. We don’t want every user. All of our users are going to be high quality and accountable for their behavior. A lot of people will be kicked off.”

Lerner’s app focused on the complaints he kept hearing from female online daters, who were asking for an app that allowed them to handle offensive or hostile messages from men. Most women who have online dated have encountered such messages from time to time, which has created a huge trust problem with online dating apps and services.

Behavioral monitoring might be the next Tinder after all, at least for female daters.

A recent article in Vanity Fair made the argument that apps like Tinder have ruined dating. Reporter Nancy Jo Sales interviewed single twenty-somethings to get their impressions of online dating, and it wasn’t pretty. They admit that “Tinder sucks” and yet they still keep swiping for lack of a better way to date.

Part of the problem, she argues, is that people have a hook-up mentality with dating apps, and men especially. They meet girls to have sex under the guise of pretending to date them, and women have been burned more than once – making them skeptical that any guy wants a relationship.

This argument isn’t a new one. But the reporter feels that dating apps are the real problem – the technology, not the people using them. Let me be more precise: dating apps make it easier than ever to meet new people, providing a way for those who are averse to commitment to do a date-and-dump.

The problem I see with this argument is that it assumes technology is the problem. If we ditched dating apps and online dating in general and went back to an “easier time” – say 1995 – when dating was supposedly alive and well, and all single people were looking for long-term romance. But this just wasn’t the case. In fact, people would hook up and avoid commitment with relative ease – they just did it in person at bars and clubs, rather than through a dating app. Maybe their choices were limited, but the behavior wasn’t much better.

Remember The Rules – dating advice lexicon of that decade? It centered around dealing with men who had commitment issues, basically teaching women how to use their sexuality and femininity to get what they wanted – a relationship.

We’ve come a lot further in our relationship progress in my opinion, partly in thanks to online dating. Dating apps have helped make online dating mainstream. They have allowed shy types to interact more easily with new people. And yes – while some people do use them for hooking up, many others are looking for real love.

Dating takes time. It takes meeting a lot of people before a connection happens. That is the nature of dating – and with a dating app, the haystack is considerably bigger when you are just trying to find that one needle. So it will take you that much longer.

Instead of getting discouraged and giving up dating apps and online dating altogether, it’s time for a different approach. Let’s embrace online dating. Be truthful about what you want so you don’t waste someone else’s time. And most importantly, be respectful to your dates and you’ll find yourself meeting people who will respect you in return.

It’s a revolutionary time in online dating. Now your physiology will be making decisions about who you should date, instead of having to rely on your own decision-making process to swipe left and right.

The new Tinder app debuting on Apple Watch called Hands-Free Tinder, created by developers from Austin-based integrated marketing and advertising firm T3, links a person’s heart rate to their interest in potential matches. Since pulse rates quicken when you are attracted to someone, the technology tracks this and suggests that you are a match. If there’s no quickening of heart rate? Then it’s an automatic rejection.

The process is entirely automated, meaning you don’t have to do the swiping yourself. The watch app does it for you. (Which kind of takes the fun out of Tinder, doesn’t it?) By simply looking at someone’s picture, the app will determine whether to reject or accept a match, all based on the user’s heart rate.

The Apple Watch won’t be the only wearable technology getting the new Tinder app – it will also become available soon on Google Play, so Android wearables will offer Hands Free Tinder, too.

“Swiping left and right is a thing of the past,” explained the developers to the UK’s Daily Mail. “After we found out that the Apple Watch could detect heart rate, we went to work developing hands-free Tinder. Now you can follow your heart to the right match.”

An article in Tech Times pointed out the precariousness of relying on heart rates to monitor attraction or interest in a potential date. Hands-free Tinder does not discriminate. If you are excited in that moment, whether it’s because you saw an old friend or took the first sip of a delicious drink, then your watch will right-swipe for you. The same thing goes if you are excited in a bad way, like if you witness an accident or suddenly remembered that you didn’t turn the stove off when you left the house. It will swipe right for you in these instances, too, because your heart rate goes up. So it’s important to not allow yourself to be distracted while you’re using the new app.

The smartphone helped propel online dating into the mainstream, making it easier than ever for people to choose or reject matches based mostly on a few photos. It has also encouraged our tendency toward laziness, especially when it comes to dating. Instead of manually accepting or rejecting matches, the next evolution of online dating says it will be done for us. Where’s the fun in that?

For more information on this dating app you can go ahead and read our review of Tinder.