General News

These days, unless you literally live under a rock, technology is an integral part of your dating life. Maybe you used your smartphone to text the cutie you met last night at the bar. Maybe you've been looking for love on online dating sites. Maybe you keep in touch with your long-distance partner using Facebook. Maybe you've found an innovative way to incorporate technology into your love life that I haven't even thought of yet (in which case, give me a shout!).

For better or for worse, technology and online dating are entwined forever more. Match.com set out to determine exactly how singles use technology in dating, and put together an infographic that dishes all the details.

Let's start with the scandalous stuff:

• Singles in their 20s are nearly 4 times more likely to send sexy texts to their dates than singles in their 50s.
• 36% of singles say they've sent a sext, regardless of their age.
• And, age aside, 51% say they've received a sext from a partner.
• Sexting may be becoming increasingly common, but it isn't becoming any more private. Nearly 23% of those who have received sexy photos say they've shared the pictures with others.
• But some find that lack of privacy flattering: 42% of single men who sext say they would not be offended if the recipient shared the pic, though only 13% of women say the same.

Sharing private snaps isn't the only taboo tech move. Though mobile phones are now ubiquitous, more than 90% of singles agree that it's NOT ok to break up with someone via text.

And then there's that other ubiquitous bit of technology: Facebook. Almost ¾ of singles are on Facebook, making it a hotbed of new techno-dating etiquette rules:

• 65% of singles say they do not post their relationship status on Facebook.
• 38% say they would cancel a date over something they discovered about their date online.
• 48% of single women and 38% of men say they research someone on Facebook before going on the first date.
• 25% of single women use privacy settings on their Facebook profiles to limit access to pictures and posts for the people they date.

Facebook also comes along with a lot of dealbreakers. These are the most common ways the social networking site causes breakups:

• Men are most likely to breakup with a date due to: her pictures (55%), something she posted on someone else's wall (42%), or her status updates (21%).
• Women are most likely to split with a sweetie due to: a post on someone else's wall (s), his pictures (36%), who he was adding as friends (27%).

As always, technology is a double edged-sword. It's not without its drawbacks, but the benefits clearly win out.

Remember 6th grade? Remember how much you hated your grammar lessons? Remember when your teacher swore that knowledge would come in handy someday, even though it seemed pointless at the time?

This is that someday. It's right here, right now. It's your online dating profile.

Maybe being a writer makes me a little extra picky, but the spelling and grammar mistakes on dating sites are a total turn off, and there are tons of them. Is it really that difficult to use spell check or even - gasp! - proofread by hand?

The fine folks at eHarmony and the professional proofreaders over at Kibin teamed up to research the effects of bad grammar on your dating life. Here's what you need to know:

1. Women are more concerned with good grammar than men.
2. 43% of people say poor grammar is a turn off.
3. Over 80% of online daters publish their profiles without having someone else look them over for errors.

Grammar may seem insignificant, but even small mistakes can have surprisingly weighty consequences.

Of the 1,700 online daters polled, 22% said they're indifferent to grammar despite the fact that 43% said incorrect usage is a major turn off and 35% said correct usage is a major turn on.

Grammar usage may also tie in to a person's income. The poll found that those earning more than $100k per year care 10% more about good grammar than those earning less than $100k. If you're a sugar baby looking for a mommy or daddy, the profiles with the best grammar skills may be your best bet! And when you're on scammer alert, profiles that claim over $100k in income but are riddled with grammar errors may not be the real thing.

Like it or not, your writing reflects on you. It's not just the pictures you post and the boxes you tick for smoking, income, and education level. Your words are a chance for you to shine, an opportunity to stand out from the other millions of online daters...you don't want your incorrect use of their, there, and they're to be the most memorable part of your profile.

Keep an eye out for these 10 common grammatical mistakes:

1. Your vs. You're
2. It's vs. Its
3. There vs. Their vs. They're
4. Affect vs. Effect
5. Then vs. Than
6. Loose vs. Lose
7. Me vs. Myself vs. I
8. Fewer vs. Less
9. "Could of, would of, should of" instead of "Could have, would have, should have"
10. Complement vs. Compliment

Next time you're about to hi "Post," take the time to do a double check or find a second set of eyes to review your profile.

For more information on the site which brought us this survey you can take a look at our eHarmony review page.

A free communication weekend (FCW) is happening at eHarmony for the United States and Canada starting Match 14th until the evening on March 18th. This five day event allows all members to receive matches and communicate with them at no charge and with no credit card required.

Free communication weekends are ideal for new members of eHarmony to figure out if it is the right online dating site for them. How it works is, you first need to fill in your profile and answer the personality questionnaire. After you have finished the questionnaire and the membership is finalized you will then receive your first round of quality matches. Matches are generated by eHarmony's in-depth matching algorithm which uses the 29 dimensions of compatibility. The matches you receive have the best chances at creating a long-term meaningful relationship. Once you have reviewed your matches you can then pick your favorite ones that spark your interest and then start the guided communication process which includes email. As always photos, skip straight to mail and Secure Call are not included with FCW.

The Valentine's Day weekend in February was the last time eHarmony had a free communication weekend (see Story). By our count this free communication weekend will be number 45. To find out more about this popular matchmaking service which helps members find long-term relationships you can take a look at our eHarmony information page.

Dan Slater is causing quite a stir these days. You may remember his article for The Atlantic - "A Million First Dates: How Online Dating is Threating Monogamy" - and the ripple of strong reactions it inspired. Whether or not you agree with Slater's argument, you can't argue that it had an impact.

If one little article could achieve all that, what could a book do? Slater will soon find out. His new book, Love in the Time of Algorithms: What Technology Does to Meeting and Mating, has arrived and is already generating interest.

In an interview with USA Today, Slater theorized about the impact of online dating on modern relationships. "It's the vast expansion of the dating pool," he said. "Everyone has access to so many more people than they were accustomed to in the past. I started to wonder how that might affect how people approach their relationship lives."

Slater believes that more options mean less commitment, because commitment is based, in part, on the availability of other choices. Online dating gives users more options than they could ever want or need, leading them to move more quickly from one relationship to the next. And though they may be getting more dates by going online, they may not necessarily be getting better ones.

"As far as the algorithms go," says Slater, "and the compatibility and ability of algorithms to predict compatibility between two people, what my reporting and research showed was that psychological science has not provided the ability to predict long-term compatibility between a couple who have never met."

Slater's thoughts on online dating come from a unique point of view: he is the child of parents who met through the second ever computer dating system, invented in 1965. The first computer-based dating program was launched in the 1950s. In its earliest stages, digital dating required participants to fill in the bubbles of a written questionnaire that resembled the SAT response sheet.

After submitting your response sheet and a $3 or $4 subscription fee, your answers were fed through a computer that returned 6 possible matches. The matches were then mailed out and it was up to the individuals to initiate contact.

The process was nowhere near as complex as today's matching algorithms, which still have plenty of room for improvement. But though it's not a perfect system, and he clearly has reservations about it, Slater has hope for online dating.

"I think what is happening at the moment is that dating sites are getting better at predicting whether two people who never met can hit it off on a first date," he told Katie Couric on her talk show. "And I think the more data that dating sites accumulate, the better they'll become at matching people up."

Zoosk was made aware recently that possibly some of their members passwords were found on a third-party website. Zoosk takes security seriously and has launched an investigation:

So far, we have not found evidence of our network being compromised. Additionally we have not received reports of unauthorized access to members’ accounts...

To err on the side of caution Zoosk has required some members to reset their passwords.

Zoosk is smart to get on top of this potential security threat right away. Hopefully it is a false alarm but it is always best to take steps to ensure everyone’s information is safe. A number of dating sites have been targeted over the last few years including Plenty of fish which was hacked in February of 2011.

For more information on this potential security issue you can read the Zoosk blog.

With the ease that Google can pull up information on almost any topic, many people nowadays have the ability to find out much more about people than they were able to 10 or 12 years ago. With that comes the ability to eliminate doubt about anybody you know-your best friends, your boyfriend/girlfriend, or even your spouse. In an age where dishonesty is becoming more prevalent, it should come as no surprise that more and more people are turning to background checks to figure out just who they are going to be going on that date with.

We've all heard the horror stories... It's true, news stories almost seem common place about unlucky women who end up going on dates and finding out that the tall, dark, handsome man that they are seeing is a convicted felon with a history of violent sexual assaults. Or that the person they are dating is not who they say they are at all, and have been lying about things from the start.Lifetime movies have tainted us all in one way or another. When we hear stories like these, it is easy to justify looking up every detail of the first date. There is nothing wrong with background checks. The main thing to keep in mind is that you are by no means in the wrong if you do decide to perform a background check on the person that you are dating. If you are serious about dating and are looking for a partner to stay with for the long-run, you have every justification to take things seriously from the start. It may be better to get the jump on things and root out problems before they start, or at least to know what you're getting yourself into. If you have kids and know that you wouldn't feel safe with them around somebody that has a criminal history or poor driving record, don't even think twice about whether it's a good idea-just do it.

Preserving the mystery... On the other hand, there are those that would caution or argue against doing a background check on every date you go on. There was an episode of the TV show How I Met Your Mother where Ted ends up ruining a date with a girl because he Googles her and becomes very intimidated by her success. There is something positive about mystery that makes dates go the way that they do. The thought of actually meeting somebody new is exciting, but the "process" of meeting them can be ruined if you have already made a predetermined impression through a background check.

Before it's too late It may help to realize that, according to a study, 37% of married people snoop on their partners electronically. This is because nowadays, people tend to rush into relationships without knowing exactly what they are getting into. From infidelity to money problems, married couples that end up snooping on and doing background checks on each other have found things that they wish they would have known about 10 years earlier. Don't become that couple. This doesn't mean that you have to go out and do a background check or snoop, but with things like this going on in the world, you would not be at fault for doing so. If nothing comes up... Hopefully, if you do end up running a background check, nothing will come up. In instances where you have already been on a few dates or are in a committed relationship and have run a check that turns up nothing, you may find yourself feeling guilty or silly. Don't. Remember why you ran the check in the first place, and focus, from that point on, on building trust. In the end, remember that we live in a dangerous world, and that's it's better to be safe than... well, there's a number of things that could happen. But that's the point. In a world where trustworthy people are getting harder and harder to find, you may have to take it upon yourself to actively root out the dishonest.

Colter Brian is a former private investigator/photographer and now a freelance writer. When he writes, he contributes to sites such as Online Searches. Some of Colter's hobbies include spending time in the outdoors and perfecting his pasta recipes for his toughest critics; namely his two children.