General News

What happens when you bring two of the world's biggest dating sites together, and throw an independent research firm into the mix?

A whole lot of interesting info happens, and the State of Dating In America report is born.

JDate and Christian Mingle teamed up with a handful of experts to survey more than 2,700 singles about dating, relationships, love, and sex. All respondents met the following criteria:

• English speaking
• Male or female
• Located in the United States
• Between the ages of 18 and 60
• Single marital status
• Online or offline dater who is currently not married and dating or planning to date in the near future, OR is in a relationship with a partner for less than two years

The lengthy report sheds light on the complexity of the contemporary dating landscape, and reveals a significant trend toward more open-minded stances on issues surround sex, gender roles, and dating. Singles these days have a more liberal attitude than ever before:

• 87% think online dating is a great way to meet people.
• Both men and women believe it's safer to meet someone online than in a bar.
• 85% say it's acceptable to have sex before marriage.
• 91% of Jewish singles and 84% of Christian singles would live with a partner before marriage.
• 78% of single Christians and 60% of single Jews are open to marrying someone with kids.
• Most singles, regardless of their gender, say it doesn't matter who is the breadwinner in a family.

But oddly, despite those trends towards liberalism, Americans hold on to traditional values when it comes to marriage and family:

• 78% of men and 55% of women believe that a man should pay for the first date.
• 62% of 18- to 24-year-olds would be disappointed if they never married.
• Both men and women say their mothers have the biggest influence over who they marry.
• Nearly ¾ of singles would prefer to settle down with a partner who shares their religious faith.

Faith can also account for differences in attitudes and habits when it comes to dating and relationships. Jews are three times more likely than Christians to use an online dating site, though a larger majority of Christians say online dating is a great way to meet potential mates. Jewish singles rank intelligence as more attractive than humor, while Christian singles feel the opposite way. Jewish singles prefer coffee for a first date, while Christian singles would rather meet for dinner.

What they do agree on is family: singles of both faiths agree that the number one key to a successful relationship is that their partner's family treats them well.

To find out more about the dating sites which brought us this information you can read our JDate review and our Christian Mingle review.

One of our reviewed dating sites Positive Singles, has been mentioned in a New York Daily News article on dating sites and sexually-transmitted diseases. Like other STD dating sites Positive Singles match people based not only on interests, location and personality but also on the same STD infections.

Positive Singles currently has more than 700,000 members since it launched and has over 15,000 people visit the site every day. From our investigations it is the largest dating site that caters to members with an STD. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention reports in the United States that in a given year there are over 110 million cases of sexually-transmitted infections reported. About a third of the US population is single so this would mean that at least 33 million singles have a STD. I would bet this number is significantly higher since a single person is most likely to have many more sexual partners in a given year than someone in a long-term relationship and/or marriage. I could see this number being as high 60 million.

You can take a look at our Positive Singles review here.

Plenty of fish (POF) released recently a document on their dating site showing what type of people visit their service. The document is designed for advertisers but it gives some great incite on their members for the general user. Let's ask a few questions of the document and see what the answers are!

Question 1: How many visitors does Plenty of fish have?

Answer: They receive 4.3 million unique visitors a day and 432 million visitors (not unique) in total on an average month. These monthly visitors view 9.8 billion pages.

Question 2: What countries are the members from on Plenty of fish?

Answer: This is how many monthly visits the top 9 countries have:

• United States: 95 million
• Canada: 27 million
• United Kingdom: 26 million
• Brazil: 7 million
• Australia: 3.4 million
• Mexico: 2.4 million
• Ireland: 2.2 million
• Spain: 1.6 million
• France: 1.3 million

Question 3: How old are members on Plenty of fish?

Answer: Members on Plenty of fish fall into the following age ranges:

• 18-24: 10% or 430,000 visitors a day
• 24-34: 38% or 1,634,000 visitors a day
• 35-44: 22% or 946,000 visitors a day
• 45-54: 14% or 602,000 visitors a day
• 55+: 6% or 258,000 visitors a day

Question 4: Do Plenty of fish members use other dating sites?

Answer: Yes! On average a Plenty of fish member belongs to 3 other dating sites. 15 percent of these members are actively using another dating site while still being a current active member of POF.

Question 5: How much money do members on Plenty of fish earn every year?

Answer: Members on Plenty of fish fall into the following income brackets:

• < 30 thousand: 38% or 1,634,000 visitors a day
• 30-60 thousand: 29% or 1,247,000 visitors a day
• 60-100 thousand: 25% or 1,075,000 visitors a day
• 100-150 thousand: 5% or 215,000 visitors a day
• 150+ thousand: 3% or 129,000 visitors a day

Most of these statistics are from data gathered in 2012. For more information on this dating site you can read our Plenty of fish review.

On those rare occasions when I find myself tucking in to a seedy gossip rag (it's all there is to read in hair salons...don't judge me), it seems that everyone in Hollywood is "canoodling." I have yet to determine what exactly canoodling entails, but apparently it's all the rage in Tinseltown.

It now could be all the rage in your life, too, following the recent launch of the Canoodle app. Canoodle is a social discovery dating service for Facebook, Android, and iOS. And it couldn't be easier.

The Canoodle team believes that the best way to find good friends and relationships is to discover interests and hobbies in common. The service makes it simple to do so by gathering information from your Facebook profile, making it quick and easy to meet matches who are into the same things as you.

Using Canoodle's social, location-based service, you can explore new places, events, and people in your area. You can customize and filter your search to exactly what you need, browse profiles, and connect in chatrooms around your favorite topics, activities, and places.

Signing up is as simple as connecting with your Facebook or email account. Canoodle reviews the Pages you've liked and the celebrities, products, sports teams, brands, etc., you follow, and incorporates that info with user-provided information. By mining your social media accounts, Canoodle gains a better understanding of what you like, eliminates the guesswork that exists on traditional dating sites, and connects you more easily with others whose interests and tastes are similar.

After gathering relevant data, Canoodle then uses a subset of 27 million people from among Cupid's 54 million-strong user base to determine the best possible matches for you. It's all free, and complete privacy controls are offered. Users can also interact via chat rooms, a desktop messaging client, and a newsfeed related directly to all of the user's preferences and affinities.

"Canoodle is designed as a fully mobile experience, either through the mobile version of the website or through a smartphone app, which means it can deliver results to users that are not only relevant in terms of their interests and passions, but also based upon their location," said Bill Dobbie, CEO of Cupid. "Social discovery and matching of people with shared interests is really powerful - it's like starting a conversation with a built-in ice breaker. Couple this with Cupid's enormous database of singles who are actively looking to meet someone, and you have all the right ingredients for success."

Confession #1: I am guilty.

I will be the first to admit that the prospect of acquiring a partner and acquiring that partner's debt is a little scary. I attended one of the most expensive private universities in the country - it's terrifying contemplating my own debt, much less my debt combined with someone else's.

Years ago, when a new date confessed he was multiple tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt, I could feel some of my excitement about him evaporate. It was like someone instantly started lowering the volume on my attraction knob.

Confession #2: His debt never affected our relationship, which turned out to be a long and very happy one. Although it ended up being a total non-issue, I still remember how I felt when those words first came out of his mouth. It may not have been one for me, but is debt a dating dealbreaker for others?

eHarmony paired up with CreditCards.com to answer that question. Here's what their study revealed:

• 65% of men and 71% of women agreed that sharing the same attitudes towards managing money is the most important factor in a relationship.
• 48% of men and 57% of women say debt is a turn-off in a partner.
• Keeping credit card debt a secret is a breakup-worthy offense to 54% of men and 70% of women (that's the same percentage of women who would breakup with a partner if they found out he had a criminal history).
• The most common arguments for couples are about money, say 71% of men and 75% of women.
• Would you pool your money with a partner if you thought he or she was irresponsible with finances? 72% of men and 80% of women say "No."

That sounds like a whole lot of bad news, but don't fret - there are a couple of lights at the end of the tunnel. Debt may be a deal breaker to some, but it's not the most serious offense a partner can commit. Most men and women think a criminal history and cheating are bigger reasons to break off a relationship.

Most Americans also believe that a partner's spending habits can be changed. 69% say it's ok to insist that a partner alter his or her spending habits. Looking at it by gender, 70% of men and 68% of women think they should try to influence a partner's monetary decisions.

When it comes to money matters, money matters. Be honest with your partners and make sure you're on the same financial page.

Wow I got a surprise when I visited eHarmony.com today. The first thing I noticed was that they have changed the banner that use to say in all capitals "Check Your Matches Free" to "Now Free To Communicate". This changed seems to be only on the United States eHarmony dating site as the Canadian one still has the original message.

After doing a bit more investigating it looks like eHarmony.com now allows free communication all the time. It seems to work very similar to Free Communication Weekends (FCW). You can use the guided communication process for free which after 3 steps does lead to sending emails via eHarmony Mail. The 4 steps of the guided communication process are designed so that you can learn more about your match. The first step is quick questions, the second step moves onto any makes or breaks you may have for a relationship and the third step has you asking some deeper relationship questions. The final fourth step is mail.

Free memberships still do have their limits though. The top 4 restrictions would be:

• You cannot view your matches photos
• You cannot see who has viewed your profile
• You cannot see when your matches have last logged in
• You also cannot skip to email

This is very similar to the restrictions placed on free communication weekends. To remove these restrictions you would then have to purchase a membership plan. eHarmony has 3 plans called Basic, Total Connect and Premier which can be purchased in 1, 6 or 12 month terms with prices ranging from $18.95 to $41.95 per month.

This is a big change eHarmony has put into place. I am not sure if this change is permanent or if they are just testing things out. They also haven’t officially announced anything either but I would expect some sort of press release soon. I am sure if it is successful we will see eHarmony sites in other countries follow suit. In my opinion it also places them much closer to a free dating site like Plenty of fish (POF). While you cannot go straight to sending email to members like on POF, for people seeking a long-term relationship the guided communication is very helpful and you can send mail once it is complete. POF’s free members have very similar restrictions as eHarmony unless they choose to upgrade. The major difference being between the eHarmony and POF memberships is POF members can view member photos.

Update: April 2, 2013 - I just found out another restriction which isn't obvious at first and would have changed the tone of this post a bit if I had known about the restriction before writing. Apparently you can only send out an email message in step 4 of the guided communication process. If the match replies to this message you cannot see it until you pay for a membership. Getting to use the guided communication process is nice but it would be even better if we could view the replies once we are finished with it like during a FCW.

I guess we now need to update our eHarmony review to reflect this new information along with the other profile changes I notice.