General News

Would you consider bribing someone to go out with you, say with a nice dinner or skydiving trip? According to Brandon Wade, an MIT graduate and founder of a new matchmaking app called Carrot Dating, most men would.

The idea behind the app (and its name) is that users can "dangle a carrot" in exchange for getting women to go out with them. (In fairness, the site claims that both men and women can accept or offer gifts in exchange for a date.)

Users can accept gifts or activities for a first date, from something as expensive as plastic surgery or as minimal as a tank of gas.

Most of the reviews for the new service have been skeptical, if not downright hostile regarding the purpose of the app.

Business Insider's Christina Sterbenz wrote in a scathing review, "through Carrot Dating, users (but really men)... can buy credits to send "gifts" to other users ... so they'll agree to a first date. That sounds quite like an activity illegal in most of the continental US - prostitution." She goes on to say that, "in fact, this problematic app is teaching men that women are greedy idiots who can't see through blatant and pathetic misogyny."

Wade has a different opinion however, especially when it comes to online dating. He maintains that women constantly get messaged while men struggle to get even one response. This is a way to level the playing field, to ensure that men get what they desire, too, instead of just messaging and hoping.

"Online dating is a superficial game," the Carrot Dating site claims. "With Carrot Dating, you won't get rejected before you even get a chance. Convince singles that spending time with you is worth it by making an offer that they simply cannot refuse."

But does this approach work in the real world, especially if you're looking for a real relationship and not just a pretty date?

Not likely. Some experts have chimed in too, noting that when you're buying presents in order to secure a first date, then she probably won't continue to date you unless you keep buying her gifts. There is no motivation to really get to know each other as you would on a traditional date without such bribes.

This app plays into the insecurities of men, especially when it comes to online dating. Unfortunately, it's not an app that can ultimately help them obtain a relationship. That takes work, not gifts. And it probably takes a few more messages and a more open mind.

Good news, eHarmony users! eHarmony.com has just announced the launch of a new service designed to enhance the experience for those who want a higher level of service from their online dating site. The new service, called eH+, offers the best of eHarmony alongside a very special upgrade: a personal counselor.

The counselors are credentialed therapists working with eHarmony founder, himself a psychologist, Dr. Neil Warren. "Finding the love of your life is the single most underestimated challenge in the human experience," said Dr. Warren in a press release. "In the course of the dating process, we know that some people want or need a higher level of service in finding their marriage partner and since this decision impacts your life more than any other single decision, we want to provide help every step of the way."

So what exactly does it do?

"eH+ melds the power of eHarmony's online capabilities with the guidance and care of the matchmaking industry," said Grant Langston, Vice President of Customer Experience for eHarmony. "eH+ is exactly suited to take our proven compatibility algorithms and bring personal, one-on-one attention to the difficult process of finding the right person to share your life. We know that we have more marriages, with more satisfaction and fewer breakups than any other service and we are confident that eH+ will add another layer of strength to our already powerful process."

And that's not all. eH+ also promises:

• Matches chosen for you by your credentialed professional counselor
• Freedom from your computer - no updating profiles, managing matches, or juggling communication
• Matches who have been vetted for interest in you, so you no longer have to wonder whether your interest is reciprocated
• A deeper and more varied set of matches than what you likely would have encountered without an eH+ counselor
• Increased privacy, because your profile isn't automatically exposed to hundreds of people you've never met

If you think all that personalization comes without a price, think again. The bespoke eH+ service will cost $5,000 for a one year subscription. It certainly isn't cheap, but according to eHarmony 66% of its members were surveyed and indicated they would be interested in subscribing (though who knows what "would be interested" actually means?). Unfortunately the service is too new to hear reviews from users.

eH+ launched in beta on November 1, and its official launch is set for December 1. For more information on this dating site and its features you can read our full eHarmony Review.

Spark Networks, owner of several popular religious dating sites such as JDate and Christian Mingle, announced the launch of the new Believe.com website, described as a faith-based lifestyle destination designed to serve the Christian community.

The idea for the new site came after a poll of Christian Mingle members was taken. An overwhelming 86% felt that "they needed additional support to help in their daily walk with God," but 74% were not aware of any digital destinations to help them do this. The new makeover to Believe.com is the company's answer to this problem.

"A tremendous amount of research and outreach to the community helped us determine the most important issues, trends and topics for today's online faith-based consumers," said Ashley Reccord, Christian Community Manager at Spark Networks. "Unlike any other content destination, Believe.com offers today's Christians a platform to engage, learn and pray in their everyday lives."

Believe.com is meant to be as interactive as possible with its members. Its features include a section called "Contributor's Corner" where users can engage with content that highlights messages, articles, and sermons from renowned Christian leaders and best-selling authors such as Jefferson Bethke, Sharon Jaynes, Jerry Jenkins and Mandy Hale. "Sunday Sermon" provides a video platform that enables people to view sermons they missed or to find new church leaders they wouldn't otherwise have heard about. "Ask a Pastor" allows members to ask questions about their faith and challenges they have in relationships, work, and other areas of life and receive faith-based feedback.

The most popular feature on Believe.com is called "Pray it Forward," which is a central place for people to share prayers for friends and family so they can engage a larger Christian community in the power of prayer.

The new site is making itself available over social media as well, with Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Google Plus platforms where people can leave messages, post inspirational quotes, and interact with each other.

"With the experience of building an unprecedented audience on Christian Mingle, Spark Networks has become a recognized leader in the Christian marketplace," said Ted Gartner, Partner at Grace Hill Media, an advertising partner. "It's exciting to see the new Believe.com respond to the market demand for a modern, multi-platform Christian lifestyle site."

To celebrate its launch, Believe.com declared the month of October as "Pray it Forward" month. They encouraged Christians everywhere to come together at anytime and anywhere to pray online (via the Believe.com website or through the mobile phone app). Members were also encouraged to promote and post prayers via social media using the hashtag #prayitforward and the Twitter handle @Believe.

Maybe you're not a gamer, but a new study by Stanford's Virtual Human Interaction Lab brings up an interesting conundrum. Researchers found that online avatars (our own virtual representations) could cause us to take on certain personas in the real world. Specifically, sexy avatars are making women objectify themselves in real life.

Researchers immersed 86 participants into a virtual reality world, giving some sexualized avatars (dressed suggestively in short dresses, high heels, and tight shirts) and others conservative, neutral avatars (wearing jeans, jackets, and tennis shoes). When asked about the gaming experience afterwards, the women with sexualized avatars were more likely to talk about their bodies. More than that, if they found themselves physically identifying/ resembling their avatars, they were more likely to believe sexist myths like women are manipulative.

Women with sexualized avatars actually started to see themselves as objects, rather than as human, during the course of the study.

While this study was specific to the relationship between women and avatars in the virtual gaming world, it made me wonder how our online images in general affect our real-life personas, especially in online dating. If you create a profile to project a certain image to potential dates, do you start thinking of yourself in a different way in real life?

Or to take it one step further, think about your social media profiles - Facebook, Twitter, and the like. Do you sometimes post comments or report a specific status to cast yourself in a certain light? For instance, do you post comments about the parties you attend or who you're meeting as opposed to saying "watching television in my pajamas and eating mac and cheese." If you post pictures of yourself in sexy dresses at bars, do you think of yourself differently than if you just post pictures of yourself hiking in your sweats and running shoes?

It's an interesting subject to consider. We are more than what we do in our day to day lives, we are also our online images. Many people we interact with online we don't see that often. Our image of ourselves can be crafted, and in turn make us think that who we are online is really who we are.

So what does this mean for online dating? We all want to present our best selves, so we pick photos that we think make us look sexy or powerful or confident, and we craft profiles to emphasize how we're sexy or confident or successful. This can make a first "real life" meeting nerve-wracking, because you will be compared to your online persona.

One thing is for sure, the virtual world is shaping all of us.

Are online daters picky about physical appearances? OkCupid thinks so. The company recently launched a VIP service for members where by paying an extra fee, they can choose their preferences for a date's body type.

While OkCupid has garnered some criticism for this bold move, there is plenty of evidence that online daters do care a lot about physical appearances. Pictures play an important role in the filtering process for many daters. The majority view pictures first to see whether or not they want to reach out to a potential date.

"The truth about humanity that maybe people don't want to admit is that an important part of physical and sexual attraction is superficial," Sam Yagan, CEO of OkCupid and also of Match.com told TODAY.com. "If you ask someone, 'Why did you get married?' You'll hear, 'Oh, he makes me laugh' and all that stuff. And that's all true. I'm sure he does make you laugh. You also think he's hot."

The VIP service allows users to choose their preferred body type, whether it's "thin," "athletic," overweight," or even "used up," and are matched accordingly. According to Yagan, he's just saving people the time. "People have strong preferences on body type," he says.

There is a case to be made for those who support the VIP service. Most online dating sites encourage people to post photos for a reason - they want to see what their dates looks like before they send an email or even pick up the phone. There is not really a difference with OkCupid's members, except that they can pay for the priveledge of keeping certain people out of their match list.

Critics maintain that people look deeper than physical appearances when they are hoping to find a relationship and not just a date or hook-up. Sites like eHarmony argue that these types of filters prevent people from meeting who otherwise might be attracted to less superficial factors - such as each other's interests, political viewpoints, or even educational background.

Plus, the filter is subjective. One man might consider himself "athletic" when others see him as "average," skewing the results. A woman might not want to admit she's overweight and therefore lie to avoid being filtered out of searches. Many online daters have already been burned by dates not looking like their pictures. While OkCupid's filters are meant to help the situation, it may cause even more daters to lie about their appearance.

Although OkCupid hasn't released numbers on how many members have joined the VIP service, they admit there's been a lot of interest.

Watch out, IAC - Markus Frind may be coming for your crown!

For a long time, IAC (InterActiveCorp) has been the undisputed ruler of online dating. IAC's businesses include Singlesnet.com. SinglePeopleMeet.com, OurTime.com, OkCupid.com, and, last but certainly not least, Match.com. Add it all together, plus IAC's numerous successful ventures outside of the dating industry, and you've got a seriously unstoppable force.

Markus Frind, CEO of Plenty Of Fish, recently attempted to score another piece of the kingdom for himself and push IAC an inch more off its throne. True Beginnings, the Texas-based owner of True.com, entered Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection in 2012 and is attempting to sell its assets. Frind was poised to gobble the site up, but Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott has protested the sale.

Citing privacy concerns, Abbott objected in federal bankruptcy court to the sale of True.com's 43 million member database. "At a time when privacy is an issue of grave concern to so many," he said in a press release, "we are taking legal action to prevent an online dating service from selling more than 2 million Texans' personal information without their consent."

True Beginnings told the court they planned to notify users by email that their personal information would be sold, but Abbott contends that the company must obtain each customer's approval individually first. "The proper course is for True.com and its bankruptcy trustee to seek the customers' permission before selling their private information to a third party," he explained, "and that's exactly what our legal action asks the bankruptcy court to require before the case proceeds."

When signing up for True.com, users are told that their personal data - including phone numbers, passwords, financial billing info, and browsing history - cannot be transferred without their consent. However, Abbot notes, ambiguous language found in the site's privacy policy quietly adds that members' personal information held in the company's database would be treated as a transferable asset in the event the company was acquired by a third-party buyer.

Unsurprisingly, Frind is not pleased with the development. "Who in their right mind is going to buy a dating site with 43 million members if you are not allowed access to those members?" he wrote in a blog post. "This would be like buying twitter but you don't get access to twitters users unless they agree to the sale."

Under the current transfer process, True.com member data will be transferred automatically unless the customer takes direct steps to opt-out. Abbot is instead arguing that customers should opt-in and directly express approval for the transfer of their personal information. Whichever way this goes, it's bound to set a precedent for all future dating site sales.