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Dr. Neil Clarke Warren left eHarmony a few years back, only to take control of the company he founded once again in 2012 to implement a turnaround strategy for its drastically sinking subscriber base. As it turns out, this new strategy has been key to eHarmony’s unprecedented recent success. This past week, the company announced that it has the highest number of subscribers in the company’s history, and has grown its base of users 54%.

This is quite an accomplishment, considering the growing popularity of dating apps like Tinder and Hinge. The market is crowded these days, so you have to effectively differentiate yourself in order to compete. Traditional online dating sites have struggled to make their offerings more competitive and accessible.

eHarmony is an especially interesting contender in the online dating industry. Going against the grain of its competitors who offer an easy sign-up process and a high number of matches, eHarmony has a rather lengthy and grueling sign-up process that can take up to 90 minutes to complete before you receive your matches. And you only receive a few matches at a time, ones that are selected by eHarmony, not you. On top of that, there is another “guided communication” process to complete with each match before you can just send them an email to meet for a date.

It seems to be working.

All of these steps are important to eHarmony’s goal: compatibility matching. This was the original intention behind the launch of the site, and founder Dr. Warren has remained firm in this vision, which numbers show is paying off. He brought in a new management team to improve the website and mobile design, the technology, and implement a new marketing program.

As a result, the company has gained subscribers who are also more willing to stay longer and pay more than in years past.

“eHarmony was created as a way for individuals to begin a relationship already a step ahead – with someone who is truly compatible,” said Dr. Warren in a statement. “We are proud of what we have achieved over the past two years, securing the largest subscriber base in our history. We are confident in our ability to continue to grow eHarmony in the future.”

With so many dating sites and apps competing for sheer numbers, it’s interesting that eHarmony’s more serious approach to dating and its focus on the goal - helping people find long-term relationships – is paying off. There is indeed a market, and a need, for people to find and make real-life lasting connections, and the continually growing numbers prove it.

Dating is a numbers game, but what happens when you’re not 23 any longer – do the numbers start working against you?

No! The truth is, people are looking for partners of all ages. More than half the U.S. adult population is single, and many are baby boomers and Gen Xers looking to find love after a break-up or divorce, or want to get married for the first time. You are not alone.

The media would like us to think that young daters are the only ones out there who are actively dating and forming relationships, but that is far from the truth. Older daters are higher in number, but are slowly adapting to the technology available to them – specifically online and mobile dating. The stigma is gone for the most part, thanks to the ease, accessibility and popularity of mobile dating apps. How many 40-somethings do you know using Tinder? Probably more than you’d expect.

If you are over 40 and wondering how to approach this whole dating thing, here are some tips:

Try different sites and apps. Not everyone over age 40 should be on eHarmony. Not every guy should be on Tinder. Before you join, ask yourself what your goals are. Do you want to test the dating waters without getting serious? Do you want to get married? Or would you like to find a girlfriend/ boyfriend for companionship? Different sites and apps offer different experiences, so be sure to research first.

Be honest in your approach. So many women lie about their ages, and so many men lie about their height. They want to attract more people, but in the end when you are meeting dates in real life, they will be upset by the lie. Don’t start any relationship this way. The people who are right for you won’t let age or height be a factor, so don’t you either.

Let go of your baggage. There’s nothing more important than examining past relationships and seeing where we can get rid of old beliefs and thought patterns that aren’t serving us. Anger and fear are the two worst things to hang on to – for anyone. Go to counseling, talk with a friend, start a practice in yoga – do what it takes to help lift you beyond your current fear and anger, and into a place of greater peace before you date. It will be worth it.

Think about what you want in a relationship. It’s more important to understand how you want to feel in a relationship, rather than looking for a guy or girl who checks off those “boxes” – like being hot, or educated, or successful. These don’t matter nearly as much when you are in the relationship. Instead, think about the kind of person you’d like to spend time with.

Cultivate your own happiness and personal life. Do you enjoy travel, riding your bike, or cooking? Don’t wait for a partner to plan your next trip, or a cycling buddy before you research new biking trails, or a boyfriend before you start cooking elaborate 4-course meals. Do it for you! When you do things that make you happy, it puts you in a great headspace to attract others who are happy in their lives, too.

Are you an eHarmony or OkCupid user? Chances are, you wouldn’t join both sites, because they cater to two different types of users. eHarmony attracts daters who are more serious and committed to finding a partner, whereas OkCupid skews a bit younger and takes itself a lot less seriously.

But regardless of which online dating site you choose – wouldn’t you want to understand how to use it most effectively, so you could obtain better results? Would you want to know how other people are using the site, and potentially how they are matched and communicate with you?

Harvard Business School professor Mikolaj “Misiek” Piskorski is the author of the newly released book A Social Strategy: How We Profit From Social Media. In conducting research for his book, he obtained data sets from both OkCupid and eHarmony to determine how different demographics communicate, flirt, and connect over the websites. He set out to see the differences in communication styles between men and women as well as older and younger users.

In the course of writing his book, which is designed for businesses with social media presences, Piskorski studied the online dating habits of millions of users. After personal information was made anonymous so it wouldn’t be compromised, he started his search: specifically, how online daters send messages to each other, how they flirt online, and how they use the sites.

In a recent interview with Fast Company magazine, Piskorski said, “Where eHarmony varies dramatically is communication. People reach out to each other more on eHarmony, and get more responses on there. The people you traditionally would think have the hardest time reaching out to people do very well on eHarmony.”

What does this mean in terms of day to day use of the site? Generally speaking, because each person's pool of matches is smaller on a site like eHarmony where the matches are qualified, they tend to have an easier time reaching out. For timid users, it’s an empowering thing – they will message more on a site like eHarmony than on OkCupid when they know they are competing with thousands of other members.

Another reason for the increased communication on eHarmony is due to the fact that older women and men who are older, more overweight, or shorter than average daters are also more likely to reach out on eHarmony without feeling intimidated. Again, the limited number of matches he feels is a primary reason. Because eHarmony users have fewer choices than okCupid users, they are more likely to reach out, especially women, to people they are matched with.

So does less mean more? Perhaps. OkCupid users tended to gravitate towards specific matching services that offered more bite-sized options, too. For women, it was Quiver, which showed them matches that OkCupid thought would be good based on their likes and communication patterns. For men, it was a service called Quickmatch, where they could look at photos and basic profile information and rate the users according to what they find attractive.

Perhaps a study of dating app communication will be next on Pikorski’s list.

The online dating platform took several years for singles to embrace, undergoing much skepticism from the public. Does it really work? many would ask. It seems kind of desperate to join an online dating site, others might remark. There was a lot of judgment and confusion around the process, who joined, and what results it would yield.

Now all that’s changed because of our phones. According to a 2013 report from Pew Research, one in ten Americans have used an online dating site or app. And among singles looking for partners, that number is even higher, with 38% having used dating sites or apps.

It seems that dating apps have become a popular way to meet other singles, especially for people under 30. Gone is the stigma of looking desperate, or worrying about whether you’ll find “the one.” It seems instead people are opting for something that is simple to set up, simple to use, and completely accessible – scrolling through profiles and photos while you are in line at the drugstore, waiting for your friends at the bar, or bored with nothing better to do on Sunday afternoon.

Are people flocking to dating apps because we have become addicted to mobile technology? Or is it because online dating is much easier when you can access it over your phone? Perhaps it’s that meeting people through dating apps feels more like a game than something to take seriously, so it takes all the pressure off of participants?

According to a recent article in Business Insider, it could be all of these things. Regardless of the reasons, we’re starting to see a trend towards using technology for dating – with both online dating and mobile dating apps.

There does seem to be a generational divide. Younger singles under 30 prefer to use dating apps rather than online dating sites, and app developers are going after this market. There are an endless amount of new dating apps popping up every day, each offering something different, but all still relying on a hefty user base. Baby boomers and older daters however, still opt for the more traditional online dating options, which means Match.com and others share a good percentage of the market.

Most dating apps steer clear of the traditional online model of a monthly subscription service. Instead, they are offered for free, as this model tends to attract most users (and let’s face it – the value of any app or online dating site is in the numbers). In order to make money, several app developers have started offering a “freemium” model which gives users the option to pay for added features, like being able to search through more matches at a time, filtering their searches according to specific preferences, or chatting with someone they previously passed on.

Some are making money through advertising, though this can be distracting for users. Wyldfire, a new dating app, has made their advertising model a little more enticing by offering ads as incentives. When members get a certain percentage of likes, they get a discount on a service like Uber as a reward.

Some dating app developers speculate that the market will trim down over the next few years, and only two or three apps will be real contenders. Considering IAC owns most of the market – Match.com, OkCupid and Tinder are part of their roster – they may be right. In the meantime, we’ll have to see how it evolves.

Yesterday eHarmony started up their Free Communication Weekend (FCW) again for 4 days. You can "Feel the Love" from July 24th to the end of the day on Sunday July 27th.

Free communication allows you to use the eHarmony guided communication process with the matches you receive and that you feel a connection with. Once it is complete you can then send emails to them as well. Free Communication doe not include skip straight to email, secure call (a phone service - see our eHarmony review for more details), and profile photos.

To participate in a FCW all you need to do is signup for an eHarmomy membership and take the profile questionnaire. This process will take you about 30 minutes and is a key step since the information you give them about your interests and personalty will be used by eHarmony's matching algorithm to match you with other high quality members. The membership account, taking the questionnaire, and receiving matches are always free and no credit card is required.

Just when you thought you had enough things to worry about in your love life, here’s another: your sense of humor. And not just whether or not you have one, but what your specific taste in funny says about your personality.

The fine folks over at eHarmony found that both men and women report that a great sense of humor is the most important thing they are looking for in their match. “Women’s ratings of a man’s humor was significantly associated with their ratings of the man’s intelligence and warmth, showing that women see funny men as more intelligent, positive, and upbeat,” a blog post on the subject said. Men, on the other hand, use humor as a tactic of competing with one another in hopes of catching the eye of a romantic interest.

Looking deeper, researchers identified 4 different types of humor: affiliative, self-defeating, self-enhancing, and aggressive. Each has unique characteristics:

• Affiliative: When people think “sense of humor,” this is what they’re thinking of. Affiliative humor involves telling jokes and making funny comments that are not at the expense of anyone. This type of humor is used to nurture relationships between people, to bring groups together, and to create a light-hearted, entertaining atmosphere.
• Self-defeating: People with the self-defeating humor type amuse others at their own expense. They make themselves the butt of their own jokes in order to gain approval from others (and they’ll even laugh along when others put them down).
• Self-enhancing: Those who use self-enhancing humor find the funny in everything, and typically deal with challenges by looking on the bright side. Self-enhancing humor can be used as a method of coping with adversity, to prevent negative emotions from taking over.
• Aggressive: The name says it all. Aggressive humor can include teasing, sarcasm, making fun of others or putting others down. It’s a hurtful kind of humor used to manipulate and alienate others. People who use aggressive humor can often have trouble holding back from saying things they find funny, even if they’re insensitive.

We each use all four types of humor in combination, but probably have a preference for one or two. Based on researchers’ findings, what that preference is could say something about your personality:

• People who use any affiliative, self-enhancing, and aggressive humor more were found to be significantly more intelligent.
• Affiliative humor users were also found to be significantly more secure in their relationships, value their friendships more, and be less athletic.
• Users of self-enhancing humor were found to be significantly happier in general than those who don’t use this type very often. They were found to be more confident in themselves, to feel more fortunate, and to be more satisfied with themselves overall.
• Individuals who use self-defeating humor are more likely to develop close relationships with others and are not afraid to show their true selves. However, they were also found to be significantly more anxious, depressed, and neurotic, as well as less confident in their own physical attractiveness.
• Aggressive humor users are significantly less kind and caring, more neurotic, more bossy and dominating, less confident in their physical attractiveness, and less likely to want a close relationship with their partner. They may also be more intelligent and more interested in sex, but the cons outweigh the pros in this case.

For more on the dating site which conducted this study you can read our review of eHarmony.