General News

Most women will agree that they prefer equal partnership when it comes to romantic relationships. This mean they each have equal say and an equal role to play in things like finances, child care, household chores, and major decisions like where to live or whether to start a business.

It makes sense in our culture, as the majority of women are pursuing both careers and families. They want a partner who respects and supports their ambitions.

But what if the reality is different from our post-feminist ideal of equality in relationships?

New research by New York University doctoral candidate in sociology Ellen Lamont is challenging the way many women still seem to accept certain elements of “the man’s role” both in terms of dating and marriage.

Maybe some of this rings true for you: Lamont found that when dating, women seem to prefer the man to ask them out and to pay for the date, a more traditional role. Also, women like to leave it to the man to make decisions about the trajectory of their relationship. That is, they wait for him to say “I love you” or to commit to being serious first. Essentially, this puts the man in control of the relationship.

It seems dating and courtship play a big role in how women view long-term relationships. If during the dating process, women put the man in the driver’s seat (so to speak) and let him decide where things are headed, then how is it possible to easily transition to an equal partnership once they are in a long-term, committed relationship?

“[Women] want traditional courtship and egalitarian marriages and I just don’t think that will be possible,” she said. “Their justifications for traditional courtship are based on beliefs in essential biological differences between men and women and they reinforce these beliefs in their dating practices.”

Lamont chose to study women who had some form of college education to better understand women who are balancing both career aspirations and wanting a love relationship. Even with education and ambition, many of the women still subscribe to “traditional gender norms,” according to Lamont.

“Women were supposedly so desperate to get married, while men were supposedly so reluctant,” Lamont said. “I wondered if women’s so-called desperate behaviors that are so frequently highlighted in the media were actually the result of the powerlessness they feel about the process of getting engaged.”

It’s an interesting point, and maybe one worth considering as we move forward into a bigger and more technologically advanced dating pool.

The women surveyed ranged from 25 to 40 years of age.

If you tried to access PlentyOfFish on May 20^th, you may have run into a major roadblock. The site’s 503 page simply said “The page you are looking for is currently unavailable. Check back shortly!" Behind the scenes of the service outage, something a little more sinister was going on.

Around 7am that morning, POF received a warning of an impending DDoS attack. It isn't unusual for large websites to receive similar threats that turn out to be fake, but in this case the threat was real.

The DDoS (distributed denial of service) attack hit just before 8:15am. Such attacks are launched from thousands of computers around the world that have been infected with malware. Without the owner's knowledge, each computer repeatedly sends false requests to a site until it’s overwhelmed. The initial attacks took down the Plenty of Fish website, followed later by the company’s mobile apps on iPhone, iPad and Android.

POF was quick to note that although the attack was large, it did not compromise anyone's data in any way. “That said,” the POF blog noted, “these requests can overload our servers and can even cause ISP problems, so we quickly worked with our ISP to identify the offending traffic and tried various means to block it.”

Later in the day, another message was sent to POF, this time asking for money in exchange for ending the DDoS attack. POF refused to negotiate, and by 1pm they had successfully blocked the attack and returned all services to normal.

“We’re still on high alert and working hard to respond to attacks like this more quickly in the future,” concluded the blog post about the attack, “but in the meantime I’m happy to report that all of you are back to doing what you do best; sending messages, going on dates, and forging meaningful relationships. Thanks for your patience today.”

DDoS attacks are becoming increasingly popular and increasingly powerful, thanks to new methods being used by attackers. The attack on Plenty of Fish was 40 Gigabits in size, making it much larger than the attack that took Meetup.com off-line for nearly 5 days last month (which was “only” 8 GBps). The list of companies that have been attacked in this manner is increasing all the time, including Basecamp, Vimeo, Bit.ly, and Moz.

The good news is, that although DDoS attacks are irritating for users and even more frustrating for the companies who fall victim, they do not put users’ data in danger.

Olympic athlete and heartthrob Ryan Lochte has been quoted saying he’s never had a one-night stand (even while people were hot and heavy on Tinder in Olympic Village). And he’s not alone. Most Americans – 53% - claim they’ve never had a one-night stand.

A new study by Dating Advice found that while most Americans haven’t participated in this type of casual sexual encounter, men were more likely to have participated than women. Sixty-four percent of women said they’ve never had a one-nighter compared to only 41% of men in Lochte’s camp, which means that traditional gender roles when it comes to sexuality are still at play in American society.

Age was a factor in the study. Americans aged 18 to 24 had a 25 percent higher likelihood of saying they’d never had a one-night stand than those aged 25 to 34. The age difference makes sense, as there might be more life experience or opportunities for casual encounters as you get older and break away from your college relationship, opting instead for clubs and bars with other singles.

Not surprisingly, those who are married are also least likely to have had a one-night stand, with 56% saying they had never. On the other hand, only 41% of divorcees have not had one-night stands, compared to 50% of singles who have never been married.

There seems to be a distinction between straight and gay Americans, with only 32% of gay people saying they’d never had a one-night stand compared to 54% of straight people. As for race, 45% of African Americans and 47% of Latinos have admitted to never having a one-night stand compared to 74% of Asians.

It seems there isn’t much difference among income earners, with about the same percentage of people earning less than $25,000 a year saying they’ve never had a one-night stand compared to those earning $125,000 or more at 56% and 55% respectively. However, those earning in the median range from $75,000-$99,000 were the most likely to have had a one-night stand, with only 49% saying they hadn’t.

As expected, the South and Midwest are more conservative, with 54% of their residents saying they’d never had a one-night stand compared to the Northeast at 50% and the West at 51%.

The study surveyed 1,080 respondents over the course of three weeks, balancing responses by age, gender, income, race, sexuality and other factors in order to accurately represent the U.S. population.

Despite still facing the occasional naysayer, the Internet and dating have proved to be a match made in heaven. With consumers using the Internet more and more each year, demand for online dating services continues its meteoric rise. In particular, the ever-increasing popularity of smartphones has made mobile applications a booming business for dating services.

IBISWorld, a global business intelligence leader specializing in Industry Market Research and Procurement and Purchasing research reports, recently put together a comprehensive guide to the online dating industry's market size and growth prospects. By all accounts, the future looks bright for the industry's biggest forces.

InterActiveCorp is the one to beat. The largest company in the industry, IAC counts Match, OkCupid, and Tinder amongst its brands. The New York City-based company is expected to grab 27% of the estimated $2.2 billion market for US dating services in 2014, according to the new IBISWorld report. Analyst Jeremy Edwards predicts IAC's US Match revenue will rise 11.5% to $605.1 million this year, with operating income up 14% to $192.8 million.

Coming solidly in second place is eHarmony, a privately held company based out of Santa Monica, CA. eHarmony proudly dominates 13.8% of the US dating service market, IBISWorld says. The company’s projected US revenue for 2014 is $310 million, up 6.9%, with operating income up 9.6% to $35.3 million.

Spot #3 goes to San Francisco-based Zoosk, with 5.1% market share. 2014 has been a big year for Zoosk so far. The company filed for an initial public offering in April and IBISWorld predicts it will generate $114.2 million in US sales, up 24.5%, and operating income of $3.5 million. That's a nice change from a loss of $100,000 in 2013.

Finally, occupying fourth place, is dating service Spark Networks, with 3.2% US market share.

Altogether, the four largest companies account for 49.1% of US dating service revenue. The industry’s other winners are mobile dating (26%), matchmakers (14%), and singles events (7%).  IBISWorld expects the US dating service industry to grow at an annual rate of 4.2% from 2014 through 2019 - at which point it predicts sales will reach a whopping $2.7 billion.

"It is estimated that niche dating networks and services catering to the baby boomer generation will see the most growth," Edwards said. "In addition, revenue for the mobile dating market is expected to nearly double in the next five years, with rising smartphone adoption and new location-based features leading the market." 

Facebook has been in the online dating game for a while, albeit subtly. Many popular mobile dating apps use your Facebook networks to help you meet new singles, or at the very least, verify you are who you say you are. For instance, Tinder sets up your account using information from Facebook, even though it is GPS-based matching. So it only makes sense that Facebook would cut to the chase and see if they could get people to interact directly through their site instead of through third-party apps.

Turns out, Facebook is doing this by making user profiles more interactive.

The “relationship status” option of each user’s Facebook profile has always sparked a little bit of controversy becasue people use it to hurt their beloved as well as to share information with friends. After all, how many people announce their status over Facebook before actually talking to their boyfriend/ girlfriend, and how many use it as a weapon to pick a fight? Sometimes “it’s complicated” can bring about a barrage of questions that you don’t want to answer.

So it’s no wonder the new “ask” feature on Facebook makes many people feel even more uncomfortable. Ask allows you to ask another person what their relationship status is if they have chosen not to include it in their profile.

If you’re one of those Facebook users that prefers to keep this information to yourself, you are given the option of sending the “asker” a message or letting them know from the usual drop-down box choices whether you’re single, in a relationship, separated, in a domestic partnership, etc.

While this might seem to some a good way to strike up a conversation with someone who interests you on Facebook, it might seem to others to feel a little bit creepy. If you decide to ask someone about her relationship status, you must also explain why, which can be humbling. A little pop-up box displays when you click the “ask” button so that you can explain yourself.

In addition to asking about someone’s relationship status, you can also ask him about where he lives, what his job is, and other basic profile information.

The upside of all of this prying? Users have to be friends on Facebook before they can use the “ask” feature, so you can’t approach a total stranger. Also, there is no anonymity – the person being asked will see that it is you who is asking (along with your profile).

So maybe it’s better to take an old-school approach: just send the object of your affection a Facebook message, asking her out on a date.

To find out how to use this site to find dates you can read our Facebook review.

Do you have an iPhone or Android phone? Chances are, you didn’t purchase one or the other by chance: you had a definite preference.

Are You Interested, a dating app for singles, decided to test out its own user base and how their dating preferences correlated to the type of phone they used. We know that things like ethnicity, income, and height play a major role in how much success a dater has online. But could your phone have an influence too, considering how much time, money and effort we put into them? In some cases, yes.

AYI found that iOS users were contacted 17% more often than Android users. Turns out, those who prefer Apple products are more desirable dates. I looked into Cupidtino, the dating site dedicated to lovers of all products Apple, to see some profiles of the most desirable users, but found that it is now defunct. I guess more options are better, even for those dedicated to Apple lovers.

Android users seem to be the ones doing the pursuing, while Apple users tend to wait to be contacted. According to the study, Android users were 12% more likely than iOS users to contact someone on AYI.

The dating app company was able to examine 20 million interactions between their users, pulling from a portion of the 2.4 million mobile downloads of the app. Since other online daters can’t see what phone the other person has, AYI looked at what type of dater owned which type of phone. Interestingly, both groups skewed male, but Android users tend to be slightly older, with 42% between 45 and 60 compared to only 29% of iPhone users. Sixty-seven percent of iPhone users were under 45.

In addition, income seems to be a factor. Android users were 30% more likely to make under $60,000 than those with iPhones. Also, 83% of singles making over $150,000 owned an iOS device.

Marital status is another factor, with Android users being 20% more likely than iOS users to be divorced. Another interesting finding from the study: iOS users tend to drink 50% more often and take drugs twice as often as the Android users. On the flip side, they were also 18% more likely to work out every day compared to Android users.

In terms of education, iOS users were twice as likely to have a Master’s degree and 55% more likely to have a Bachelor’s degree. A whopping 72% of Android users had not completed college.

AYI studied profile information from 13,690 of its mobile app users in the United States for the study. For more information on this dating site please read our review of Are You Interested.