Tips

There was a recent article in The New York Times about "the end of conversation." Specifically, it discussed how people are feeling less comfortable meeting and talking face to face, preferring the isolated connectivity of their smartphones.

While being so connected is great for networking and expanding your social and dating circles, it can be a real impediment to starting a relationship. After all, you may create a great Tweet, but could you approach a stranger in a coffee shop and strike up a conversation? It is certainly more intimidating than blasting off a status update.

If you've been struggling to make your in-person relationships work like your Web-based ones, it's important to know what to do. The first thing to think about: what are some ways you can strike up a conversation IRL?

There's no need for a first meeting to be awkward. People are looking to connect with each other. The most important part of a conversation with the object of your affection is not what you say, but how you listen. If you're generally curious about your date, more often than not, she will enjoy your company because of it - so ask questions and listen attentively.

And if you don't have the first clue what to say? It's easy to run down the list of normal first meeting questions: what do you do? Where are you from? Where do you live? But try thinking out of the box. Here are a few examples:

What's your favorite thing to do when you're not working? Most people light up when they talk about their passions or hobbies. Ask what she likes to do in her free time, or the best place she's ever traveled to, or what she would do if she won the lottery and quit her job tomorrow. You can find a lot about a person when they talk about what they enjoy.

Have you ever been to...? Making note of some local favorite dining spots, galleries, hiking trails, or whatever else you may fancy helps open up the conversation. Also, it helps to pave the way to a second date if you're interested - you now have a place to go!

What accomplishment are you most proud of? This gives your date the opportunity to reveal a personal or professional triumph, which is a great way to turn things around if you feel the conversation waning a bit. And it's a great way to open up to each other at the beginning of a relationship.

Bottom line: ask questions, listen and engage. Then see if there's a spark!

We've all heard the expression "love comes in all shapes and sizes," but how often do we accept this in real life? Many times, we have an ideal in mind when we are searching for our significant others - we might picture what she looks like, what he does for a living, or how old he is. So it's easy to be confused when you fall for someone outside of your expectations. When your heart tells you one thing but your mind says another.

Have you dated someone ten or more years older (or younger) than you? Did you feel worried or out of place? Sometimes it's hard to let go of the ideals we've built up, but it's necessary in finding love. And just because someone you're attracted to is outside of your comfort zone in terms of age doesn't mean you shouldn't give things a chance.

Following are some questions you might ask yourself:

Are you happy in the relationship? It's simple but a good way to tell if there might be a future. Being happy doesn't require compatible ages. If you feel good around your date, enjoy spending time together, and want to see her even more, those are all good signs that you should keep moving forward.

Do you listen too much to others? Maybe your friends and family aren't comfortable with the idea of you dating someone so much younger. Even though people in your life might have their own fixed ideas about the type of person best for you, who you decide to date is your decision alone. Be prepared to risk disappointing them if it means you will be happy in your new relationship. They will come around, just give them time to adapt.

What about life experience? If you're dating someone older who's had a few more significant life experiences, this shouldn't be a reason to go your separate ways. Maybe he was married before and learned how to be truly thoughtful in a relationship, and can share that with you. Or maybe you provide a new way of looking at life and the world. You can both give to each other without being in the exact same place in your lives.

What if I haven't made it? Let's say you're dating a successful businesswoman who happens to be older, and you're still struggling to get that promotion. Give yourself a break from comparison in your romantic life. You will have time to get where you want to go, and the right person will support you. Don't spend your time or energy comparing salaries or career success.

There are a lot of reasons to talk yourself out of dating someone outside your age, but trust your intuition. If it feels right, give it a chance. Especially if it's not what you pictured.

Spring is a time of renewal and rebirth, so why not apply this to your dating life? If you've let your online dating subscriptions go or have become a bit of a dating recluse, now's the time to turn things around.

Following are some tips to restart and refresh your love life:

Open your mind. While your old dating life might have left you a little worse for the wear, you have a chance to start anew - so start with a change in attitude! Accept invitations to go out, even if you feel uncertain about a guy. Respond to emails. Approach every date with a new perspective and don't make assumptions. A way to assist: try meeting your dates in new places that you've wanted to try, or by doing an activity together like walking dogs or biking. Mixing things up adds an element of surprise and fun to any date. You'll find this will open the conversation up more than usual so you won't have to ask the same old questions.

Get focused. Dating is a numbers game, and it isn't always easy to meet someone special. So it's necessary to put some time into it - much like your exercise regime or finding a great job. It takes concentrated effort, so log on to your dating sites every day, respond to emails, and change your profile on a regular basis to keep things fresh and to keep generating new matches. Aren't all good things worth the effort?

Freshen up your profiles. online dating and Facebook. Like cleaning out your closets, freshening up your online presence can make you feel like a new woman (or man). Need help? Ask a friend to look over your description or take some new photos. (And take down the drunken Facebook photos from a friend's bachelor party.) Putting your best online self forward will do wonders in attracting others.

Have fun! Sometimes we forget that dating is supposed to be fun. After all, when you're single you're likely more socially active than any of your married counterparts, spending your evenings getting together with friends or going on dates. So enjoy yourself and take advantage of this particular freedom. It's the best time in your life to try new places and meet new people without feeling guilty or checking in with someone else. Enjoy!

Get away. Sometimes we all need a little break to reinvigorate the spirit. For me, traveling was a necessary part of jump-starting my dating life, especially after a break-up. When I was exploring a new place, I was more open to adventure and possibility. So take a day trip to go hiking or a weekend away with the girls. Getting away from a routine and seeing a new place is a good mental readjustment for all of us.

Wake up. Log on. Browse profiles. Read messages. Write and respond to a few. Chat with a potential date on AIM. Call another potential date for the requisite "get to know you" chat. Gently let down last week's date via text. Log off. Go about your day. Go to sleep. Wake up. Repeat.

Put that way, it sounds pretty boring, doesn't it? Once the sheen of a new online dating profile wears off, the actual process of trying to meet someone on the Internet can get more than a little monotonous. In fact, it can get downright discouraging.

Online dating fatigue sets in when you're sick of sending message after message and going on one dead-end date after another. No inbox to check...no awkward pre-date phone calls...no meetings with people who looking nothing like their profile pictures...it all starts sounding like a dream come true, and before you know it, you're ready to throw in the online dating towel for good.

Hold up. Before you log off for the last time and give up on online dating altogether, consider taking a break and recharging your cyberdating batteries. Online dating fatigue is a treatable affliction. Here's how to switch up your routine and beat the burnout:

• Call in sick. Life goes on if you don't log on every day. Take a vacation from online dating - read a book, catch up on your Netflix cue, meet friends for drinks. Fill your days with something other than browsing profiles, and consider making the break a regular habit. Set up no-dating days at regular intervals (every 3 days, 5 days, 14 days, etc.).
• Try a new approach. Mix things up. Do you normally wait to receive messages from other people? Start initiating contact. Is your profile picture several years old? Upload a new photo. Have you had the exact same profile since you joined the site? Refresh it with some new text that reflects who you are now.
• Remember that dating is supposed to be fun. Don't take it all so seriously. Sure, it can be frustrating at times, but once you let go of the pressure, expectations, and need to control, you can recapture the joy that dating is supposed to be about. Online dating should be a part of your life - not your whole life. Once it feels like you're forcing yourself to do it, it's time to take a break.
• Explore other options. There's a whole wide world beyond your computer screen, so why not reacquaint yourself with it? Revisit your social life, take up a new hobby, pursue a passion. Work towards a goal. Take a class. Learn a lesson. And try out other ways of dating that you may have forgotten about, like volunteering, speed dating, and good old-fashioned nights on the town.

You walked down the aisle with someone you thought you'd spend the rest of your life with, only to find yourself single years later. Moving on to a new life takes a lot of courage, but you want to build a life with someone new. Dating can be an overwhelming prospect. Where do you even begin?

There are so many ways to meet people - including online dating. But if you've never done it, maybe to you it seems like taking out an embarrassing personals ad. But it doesn't have to be. The majority of single people meet others through online dating sites. In fact, it's one of the biggest online industries out there, with more and more sites popping up each week - and more subscribers every day looking to meet people like you.

I've put together some tips to help you ease in to the online dating experience if you've been out of the dating scene for a while. The main thing to remember is, take your time. There's no rush, and it gets easier the more you do it.

Start with research. Since there are so many websites out there, how do you know which one to choose? Chances are, you'll like some formats better than others but this is after you've tried them out for a while. Most sites offer free trial periods so you can check them out with no obligation. The key thing to determine first is: are there any non-negotiables for you? For instance, do you only want to date people of a certain religion, age, political persuasion, or anything else that might be important to you? There are niche sites for these specific parameters. On the other hand, if you are open to meet many different types of people, you may want to try some of the larger, more popular sites like Match.com.

Don't overshare. There's no need to divulge all the details of your divorce or past relationship in your profile or over email messages with your matches. Think of dating like forming a new friendship. You're getting to know each other to see if you'll enjoy each other's company. Focus on the present - what you want, how you envision your life, and who you are.

Be safe. If you're on Facebook or Twitter, don't friend your dates until you've started going out with one on a regular basis. People you meet online don't need access to such personal information, especially when you don't know if you'll continue to date. Arrange to meet in a public place for the first few dates; don't agree to be picked up. Let a friend know where you are. These are some basic safety rules for online dating worth mentioning, because it's better to keep yourself out of harm's way when you're meeting someone new.

Have fun. Dating isn't a chore, it's a way to meet people and try out new places together. If there's a museum exhibit you'd like to see or a restaurant you'd like to try, invite a date out with you. Have a friend check your profile to help with your photos or descriptions of yourself. Most importantly, take your time and focus on meeting people and enjoying yourself rather than the end result.

Happy dating!

Here's a scenario: You meet someone and instantly click. You date for a while and things get serious. Then she breaks the news to you: she's moving to another state. Her work is relocating her, and it's a great opportunity for her career so she accepts.

Do you call it quits and move on? Or do you try to make it work long-distance?

My general feeling is that long-distance relationships are challenging. If you live in the same city, you have a chance to see your partner a lot if not every day, and get a feel for how to communicate. When the romance fades you can more accurately assess the relationship. However when it's long-distance, there are a lot of additional expectations placed on the relationship and the time you do spend together. It's harder to get to a comfortable place. You are not a part of each other's lives on a day-to-day basis, so it can be confusing.

If you decide that you want to give a long-distance relationship a try, I suggest you take the following steps to make sure you're off to a good start:

Communicate regularly. Every relationship is different, so it's good to establish good communication habits before you live apart. Set time aside for calling or Skyping each other every few days so it's part of your routine. Share as much as you can about your daily life, even the mundane details, so your partner can feel like she's still a part of your life.

Spend time together when possible. If you live on separate continents it's a little difficult to get together in person, but make an effort with each other as you can afford it, even if it's just once a year. If you live driving distance from each other, take advantage of weekends and make that trip - being sure to alternate turns.

Don't stalk. If you send text after text wondering where your partner is or who he's with, you'll drive yourself crazy. Instead of becoming stalker-like when you don't know what's going on in his day, give him some space. Allow him to have his own life. If you question his intentions or his faithfulness to you, then that is a separate conversation to have. Don't make assumptions about his behavior just because he's not with you.

Cultivate your own life. Instead of dreaming about your loved one or texting him all day long, meet new friends and go out often. Take a class or try a new activity you've always dreamt about. Do things to enrich your own life and enjoy what's immediately around you. It will make you happier in any relationship, and less resentful of the distance between you and your partner.