Long-Distance Love: Can it Work?

Here's a scenario: You meet someone and instantly click. You date for a while and things get serious. Then she breaks the news to you: she's moving to another state. Her work is relocating her, and it's a great opportunity for her career so she accepts.

Do you call it quits and move on? Or do you try to make it work long-distance?

My general feeling is that long-distance relationships are challenging. If you live in the same city, you have a chance to see your partner a lot if not every day, and get a feel for how to communicate. When the romance fades you can more accurately assess the relationship. However when it's long-distance, there are a lot of additional expectations placed on the relationship and the time you do spend together. It's harder to get to a comfortable place. You are not a part of each other's lives on a day-to-day basis, so it can be confusing.

If you decide that you want to give a long-distance relationship a try, I suggest you take the following steps to make sure you're off to a good start:

Communicate regularly. Every relationship is different, so it's good to establish good communication habits before you live apart. Set time aside for calling or Skyping each other every few days so it's part of your routine. Share as much as you can about your daily life, even the mundane details, so your partner can feel like she's still a part of your life.

Spend time together when possible. If you live on separate continents it's a little difficult to get together in person, but make an effort with each other as you can afford it, even if it's just once a year. If you live driving distance from each other, take advantage of weekends and make that trip - being sure to alternate turns.

Don't stalk. If you send text after text wondering where your partner is or who he's with, you'll drive yourself crazy. Instead of becoming stalker-like when you don't know what's going on in his day, give him some space. Allow him to have his own life. If you question his intentions or his faithfulness to you, then that is a separate conversation to have. Don't make assumptions about his behavior just because he's not with you.

Cultivate your own life. Instead of dreaming about your loved one or texting him all day long, meet new friends and go out often. Take a class or try a new activity you've always dreamt about. Do things to enrich your own life and enjoy what's immediately around you. It will make you happier in any relationship, and less resentful of the distance between you and your partner.