Studies

In today’s visual world, we put a lot of thought into how we look online. The perfect selfie is only perfect because 27 selfies have been taken before. Instagram filters are layered on until the subject looks more alien than human. And when it comes to choosing photos for your online dating profile, no shot ever seems good enough.

But what if your images aren’t the most important part of your profile? Zoosk surveyed more than 9,000 singles about their online dating dealbreakers with surprising results.

Seventy-two percent said spelling errors are a major turn off, while forty-eight percent said poor grammar is a buzzkill. Knowing the difference between “you’re” and “your,” “then” and “than,” and “who’s” and “whose” wasn’t just important on your seventh grade exams - it could be keeping you single.

Zoosk, who is currently ranked in the top 3 on DatingAdvice.com, found a variety of other interesting facts about spelling and grammar online as well:

1. Don’t fear the period. Previous studies have found that using a period at the end of a sentence can come off as aggressive or insincere online, but Zoosk’s users were mostly in favor. Ninety-three percent said they’d be happy to receive a message with proper punctuation, including the controversial period.
2. Exclamation points are welcome (in moderation). First messages that contain exclamation marks receive a 10% higher response rate. But beware, because they’re also a case of too-much-of-a-good-thing. Use excessive exclamation points and you’ll sound like you’re yelling or disingenuously excited.
3. Women are more concerned with grammar than men. While a significant portion of both sexes find poor grammar to be a turn off, it’s a bigger issue for women. Sixty-five percent of female Zoosk users said it’s a dealbreaker compared to 40% of men. Women were also more likely to assume that poor grammar is a sign of being uneducated, unintelligent, and lazy.
4. Correct grammar becomes increasingly less important over time. Users over the age of 45 are the most forgiving where poor grammar is concerned. Forty-three percent said it doesn’t really mean anything  in the grand scheme of things.
5. It’s not always hip to be hip. Using trendy internet acronyms doesn’t necessarily make you look cool. “YOLO” caused a 47% decrease in response rates. On the other hand, “LOL” increased response rates by 25% - presumably because the recipients were charmed by their suitors finding them funny.

On that last point, Zoosk relationship expert David Pedersen encourages a balance between slang and traditional language.

“While abbreviations such as YOLO and LOL are more popular with millennials, these phrases are becoming more common beyond that demographic and slipping into the everyday vernacular,” he said. “These pop-culture phrases could very well become accepted over time, after all, some of them are starting to be included in Oxford’s dictionary! However, there will always be those individuals that appreciate the use of proper English to abbreviations."

According to The New York Times’ story last year on the current (and dismal) state of dating culture - dubbed the “Dating Apocalypse” - most Millennials using dating apps are just looking to hook up. In this feature story, we read several personal anecdotes from New York singles who were struggling with Tinder, ghosting, and meeting people who had a general lack of interest in serious relationships, which left us feeling like the world of online dating was scary and hopeless.

Turns out, this isn’t a very accurate portrayal of today’s dating culture.

A new study from one of the largest online dating services Plenty of Fish (POF) released a report this month based on over 800 survey respondents ages 18-33 (who also happen to be Millennials). These findings reveal that an overwhelming majority – 75% of Millennials to be exact – are looking for a serious relationship. This means, most are not looking for one-night stands, but real relationships.

In addition, another recent article in The New York Times flips this notion of hook-up culture on its head. Instead of taking Tinder to task for promoting hook-ups in dating, the reporter interviewed couples who had met on Tinder and later married, and even some couples who were expecting their first child after meeting over the notorious app. The conclusion is that Tinder is much more than a hook-up app, and yields successful matches for many members despite its reputation.

Tinder has been associated with hook-ups and the downfall of dating culture, but single people gravitate to it to meet people outside of their own social circles. It is the app with the largest user base, the app that most people have heard of, and because of its unique position, most people are willing to give it a try – simply because there are so many people using it.

The irony is, while some people are using it as a hook-up app, the majority of daters – including Millennials - are using it to seek out serious relationships. Despite the media claim that daters are stuck in a “casual dating” culture whether they like it or not, singles these days are still looking for good old-fashioned love. Dating apps are just a way of finding the right person, despite the superficial methods of swiping left or right based on a few photos.

Dating app culture might just be about convenience – we are always on our phones, and it’s easier to just swipe through photos rather than spending hours reading lengthy profiles. In fact, most of the long-standing dating sites have now launched apps that are more convenient and user-friendly, with photos front and center.

So the next time you are hesitant to try a dating app because you think that people are only looking for hook-ups, remember that 75% of the people you swipe through are looking for love, just like you. For more on the dating services mentioned you can read our POF review and our Tinder review.

Dating apps are popular in part due to the low commitment factor. Most apps are free to download and begin using, so there isn’t much incentive for people to pay for enhanced services, or pay to use an app at all. You can swipe left and right, checking back for new matches at any time.

Because many dating apps have also modeled themselves after the swiping aspect of Tinder, where potential dates are judged instantly, and some argue, superficially, there is not much incentive for singles to get serious in their searches, and especially to pay for an online dating service. This has contributed to a dating app culture where daters aren’t necessarily invested or interested in serious dating.

However, a new study from Earnest, an alternative lending firm based in San Francisco, California, has revealed that people are willing to pay for a dating app, if it means they get more quality matches and have a better chance of connecting with someone and starting a relationship.

As we saw with online dating sites like Plenty of Fish, free doesn’t necessarily mean that daters are getting their needs met. In fact, many daters tried these free services only to return to the paid services later on, assuming that people using them were more serious.

Online dating services and apps vary in cost, with some starting as low as $10 per month while some can cost as much as $65 per month.

One surprising find from the study is that men seem to be more serious in their search, outnumbering women in terms of who will pay for dating services by sixteen percent.

Another interesting find: those living on the West Coast are 55 percent more likely to pay for a dating service than in other parts of the US. (So no, California residents aren’t so flaky after all!)

Overall, nearly 10 percent of those surveyed said they paid for a dating app, with Match, OkCupid and E-Harmony edging out Tinder as go-to romance resources. Forty-four percent of participants were willing to pay for Match, while 32% were willing to pay for OkCupid’s services and 22% will pay for eHarmony. (Tinder came in fourth at 9%.)    

And no surprise, older singles ages 36-50 are 50% more likely to pay for a dating app than their younger counterparts, aged 18-26.

For more information on the services mentioned in this study, you can read our reviews of Match, OkCupid, and eHarmony.

Hinge is focusing on helping their customers find long-term relationships these days in order to compete with apps like Tinder, an app known mostly for its hook-up reputation. One of the ways Hinge is catering to the more serious dating crowd is by studying their behavior online.

Now, Hinge has published a new relationship study, with data from 1,000 couples who met through Hinge within two months of joining the service. The company found several insights about what seemed to work for these couples and the experiences they shared.

One interesting revelation from the study is that men who are successful with dating apps (or at least with Hinge) were actually pickier than your average guy. Instead of endlessly swiping right in the hopes that a few women will respond in kind, these guys on Hinge decided to be a little more selective in choosing their matches.

On the other hand, women from the study who managed to find love on Hinge turned out to be less picky than your average female dater. The successfully coupled females on Hinge were 20% less picky on average. (Yes, they were swiping right more, not less – keeping more of an open mind.)

This change of approach seemed to make a winning combo for both genders. Also, in case you were wondering, Sunday turns out to be the best day of the week for online dating, so be sure to log in to your app. Response rates are 36% higher on Sunday evenings compared to any other day of the week. (Perhaps because the Tinder dates over the weekend didn’t quite work out as planned?)

So, if you’re using a dating app but want a more focused, successful experience (read: not just hooking up with people or messaging endlessly), here are some additional stats for you:

• Don’t just stop messaging, because you never know. Couples who met on Hinge messaged an average of 16 people before finding their matches.
• Messaging can work. On average, couples who met through Hinge messaged for 3 days and swapped 25 messages before giving their phone numbers to their partners. (However, don’t get carried away and message endlessly – try to get to the date sooner than later!)
• 80% of the couples listed their education and job, because they considered them important factors in making decisions about potential dates.
• Don’t expect instant gratification. Couples who met on Hinge went on 4-5 dates on average before meeting their significant others.

The bottom line? Keep an open mind, and keep your options open. For more on this dating app you can read our review of Hinge.

Maybe you’ve heard the statistics, but if not – pay attention, and turn on your spell check. Correct grammar usage and spelling goes a long way when you’re online dating. In fact, according to recent studies by online dating site Match, bad grammar is one of the biggest turn-offs for men and women – a close second behind poor hygiene.

In other words, make sure you know the difference between "your" and "you’re" before you message a potential match.

Website Grammerly did its own collection of data regarding dating and grammar usage, and came up with some interesting findings. As it turns out, people aren’t only aware of grammar mistakes – they pay attention to the specific words you use, too. Some terms are more attractive than others when you’re writing messages or an online dating profile.

For instance, men who use the word “women” rather than “girls” in their messaging are 28% more successful at getting responses. And those who use the word “whom” correctly do even better – they are 31% more successful than those who use it incorrectly.

Men are a little easier on women overall, but there are certain phrases they don’t like. When women use the words “divorce,” “separate,” or “my ex” they receive 4% fewer messages than those who don’t. (So maybe save your dating histories for the actual date, ladies.)

Spelling can be a big deal too, at least for women. Guys – if you have just two spelling errors in your profile, you reduce your chances of a response by 14%. As for the ladies? Men just aren’t so picky – spelling errors don’t affect their chances of getting a response. (Which may explain why women make nearly twice as many spelling, grammar and punctuation mistakes in their messages and profiles than men---it doesn’t seem to matter as much!)

Some other fun stats:

• According to OkCupid, women receive 17 times as many messages as men – which may explain why they can be picky, but don’t have to watch their spelling and grammar mistakes.
• Both men and women rate grammar as more important than confidence in online dating.
• Eighty-eight percent of women judge their dates’ grammar mistakes, compared to 84% who judge their dates by their level of confidence. For men, it was 75% and 69% respectively.
• Men use 21.9% more words than women do in their responses to questions                regarding their online dating profiles.
• Roughly 11% of American adults (24  million people) have used an online dating site or app

Bottom line: check your messages before you hit “send” – it could make a huge difference in your online dating success.

Seeking assistance in the search for love isn't new. From professional matchmaking services to blind dates arranged by friends, human have long sought help in finding soulmates. It's no different in 2016, but these days our efforts are more tech savvy.

According to a survey published by the respected Pew Research Center, 15% of all Americans used online dating sites or mobile apps in 2015. In early 2013, that number was 11%. Broken down, it looks like this:

• 12% of American adults have ever used an online dating site, up slightly from 9% in early 2013.
• 9% of American adults have ever used a dating app on their cellphone. The share of Americans who use dating apps has increased threefold since early 2013 – at that point just 3% of Americans had used these apps.

The Pew Research Center found that online dating's growth has been especially strong with two groups: the youngest adults (ages 18-24), as well as those in their late 50s and early 60s.

The number of 18- to 24-year-olds who report having used online dating has nearly tripled in the last two years. “Today 27% of these young adults report that they have done so,” says Pew Research Center, “up from just 10% in early 2013. Meanwhile, the share of 55- to 64-year-olds who use online dating has doubled over the same time period (from 6% in 2013 to 12% in 2015).”

For the young adult demographic, the growth goes hand in hand with the explosion of mobile dating apps. Twenty-two percent of 18- to 24-year-olds now report using mobile dating apps, a more than fourfold increase from 2013.

Outside of the 15% of American adults who now use dating sites an apps, 41% say they know someone who uses online dating and 29% know someone who has married or entered into a long-term partnership with someone they met online. College graduates and the relatively affluent are most likely to fall into into those two categories.

Though many have tried online dating, or know someone who has, there are mixed opinions on the experience. “On one hand,” writes Pew, “a majority of online dating users agree that dating digitally has distinct advantages over other ways of meeting romantic partners.” The stats reflect the sentiment:

• 80% of Americans who have used online dating agree that online dating is a good way to meet people.
• 62% agree that online dating allows people to find a better match, because they can get to know a lot more people.
• 61% agree that online dating is easier and more efficient than other ways of meeting people.

But it's not all pros. A minority of users noted the potential negative consequences of online dating:

• 45% of online dating users agree that online dating is more dangerous than other ways of meeting people.
• 31% agree that online dating keeps people from settling down, because they always have options for people to date.
• 16% agree with the statement “people who use online dating sites are desperate.”

To peruse the original Pew findings, complete with informative graphs and an explanation of their methodology, visit the Pew Research Center website or visit our own Dating Statistics page.