Single

“I just don't have time to date.”

You've heard the excuse before. Maybe you've used it yourself. You could be a parent, a bootstrapping entrepreneur, a frequent traveler, or someone swept up in the 24/7 life of a major city. Whatever the reason, the outcome is the same: you have no free time and your love life is suffering.

Being busy is the most believable excuse for being single you'll find – because, sometimes, it's true. Obligations are an inescapable fact of adult life. Time is a precious commodity. It can be difficult to create opportunities to date when you're weighed down by responsibilities and have a finite number of hours in which to achieve them.

That doesn't mean it's impossible. What it does mean is that “I don't have time to date” isn't always an excuse. It also means that you're in need of some serious reevaluation.

The process of getting your love life back begins with assessing two things:

• Your schedule
• Your priorities

First, take an honest look at where your hours go. Once you start tracking your days, you may find a surprising amount of wasted time. It's amazing how many minutes slip by when you surf social media, binge watch on Netflix, and hit the snooze button several times. Could you put those hours to better use?

On the other hand, it's possible that all your hours really are tied up in commitments that leave you with no time to yourself. If so, you'll need to get your life into better balance before you worry about dating. It's time to reconsider your priorities.

You owe it to yourself (and your sanity) to lead a life that does not eat up all of your free time. It's a difficult cycle to break, but when you do, everything improves. Counterintuitive though it may be, taking more time for yourself can make you more effective at work (or whatever else is demanding so much of your days).

Let's get cliché for a minute. If you were on your deathbed, would your final thoughts be about how you wish you'd worked more 14-hour days? If so, keep doing what you're doing. If not, make the necessary changes to have a life that actually gives you a LIFE. It won't be easy, but anything worth having requires effort.

You fought hard to get into the college you wanted. To get the job of your dreams. To get a promotion or pay raise. But when it comes to dating, you're a passive player. And you're missing out.

To find love, you have to create room and opportunity. The desire to date isn't enough. You need to make a fundamental shift that creates a better life balance. Make space in your life for dating and the dates will come.

The end of a significant relationship can really take its toll on your overall well-being. It’s hard to move past the depression and heartache, and we often find ourselves indulging – whether it’s binge-watching TV shows, eating poorly, drinking too much or having sex.

We all find different ways to comfort ourselves, but eventually, we know we must move past the heartache and deal with our pain. Part of the process of grieving past relationships is understanding the relationship itself, what you learned, and finding a way each day to move past the hurt – bit by bit.

Following are some ways to start the healing process post-breakup:

Nurture yourself. There’s no time like the present to start taking care of yourself. Book a massage – the power of touch is underestimated, and a very valuable part of the healing process. Take a relaxing bath. Meditate. Do things that help you replenish your energy – you need to recharge your emotional battery.

Get exercise. There’s something about the power of endorphins. I never liked running, but when I started, while it was difficult at first, the payoff of feeling wonderful was too big a reward. You feel better, you gain a little more optimism, and you have something to look forward to each day, rather than wasting away on your couch. Try walking, or a Zumba class, or whatever floats your boat. Any type of exercise is helpful to healing.

Enlist the support of friends. Don’t be afraid to ask your friends for help – likely they want to support you but don’t know the best way. Let them know you want to go out for dinner – don’t just hole up in your apartment until you are ready to socialize again. Talk about your break-up, and ask them about their lives, too. Friendships are invaluable during these difficult periods in our lives.

Find a new hobby. It might sound cliché, but learning a new sport or craft, or really investing time in a hobby that you love does wonders for your healing. For one thing, you can be completely in the moment when you are trying to learn something new, which takes you out of your grief. Another plus – it could lead to a new passion.

Venture into a new routine.  Instead of frequenting the restaurants or coffee shops you went to with your ex, drive to a new neighborhood and try something new. Introduce yourself to a neighbor you never really spoke to before. Try a morning jog instead of going out for coffee before work. Mixing things up is soothing medicine for the soul.

We all know that what you wear on a date gives off a certain impression of who you are. Flirty dresses are feminine and sexy, while pants and more tailored outfits convey some reserve.

But what about your lips, the starting point of any romantic triste? Apparently the color lipstick you wear says a lot about who you are and what you want.

Mashable decided to look into this phenomenon by asking Professor Karen Pine, a notable fashion psychologist and author of Mind What You Wear, The Psychology of Fashion, what her thoughts were about lipstick and dating. While all of the shades she examined were various shades of red and nude, they each provide a very distinct impression of the person wearing it. A small change in hue can make a huge difference in how your date perceives what you are really looking for.

Not surprisingly, classic red lips provide a lot of sex appeal with very little mystery. Professor Pine states: "You are sending out emotionally charged signals, wearing a color associated with passion, energy and action. You’re a bold, confident woman and one in her sexual prime."

As lipstick shades go lighter, the woman’s intentions come across as a little more mysterious. For instance, Pine notes: "Pink is the color of innocence, but you’ve added some heat too, signaling a mixed message of approach-avoidance. Your date may be confused as to what you want from a relationship..."

Purple hues indicate strength, but depending on whether you go bright or dark, you can give off different impressions. A bright fuchsia for instance indicates artistic sensibility and creativity – and you’ll likely expect your date to be interesting or at least a good conversationalist. Burgundy however is much more serious. It shows your strong, decisive character but there is an element of reserve. Your dates might feel that you take a while in getting to know someone, and they should expect to be patient.

Orange hues, much like pink, indicate a certain degree of playfulness, without any specific intention of where you want the date to go.

Neutrals and wearing no lipstick also give off a distinct impression to your date. Nude lipsticks let him know that you want to be taken seriously. Pine states: “There’s a vulnerability and sensitivity to your approach but with the right partner, you're willing to bare your soul and wear your heart on your sleeve.” Wearing no lipstick however, means business. Your no-nonsense approach to dating says “take me as I am, I have nothing to hide.”

Don’t take this article’s word for it. Why not try out a few different shades of lipstick on your next several dates, and see what kind of response you get? At least you get to have a little fun with color.

Lauren Urasek was surprised when a reporter from a major New York magazine contacted her to interview "the most popular girl on the dating site OkCupid."

The makeup artist and self-proclaimed technology nerd became an internet celebrity when the dating site declared her its most messaged female user in New York City. She made the most of her new-found notoriety, spinning it into an article for xoJane, a Tumblr blog and now a new book.

In Popular: The Ups and Downs of Online Dating from the Most Popular Girl in New York City, Urasek offers advice, personal stories and essays to help singletons navigate the crazy world of digital dating. Here are a few of her tips for making the most of your online dating experience:

1. Post photos that are flattering, varied and recent. Flatting goes without saying, but it doesn't count if your pictures are pixelated or highly filtered. Show off the real you. Group shots, sunglasses and outdated photos are also on the don'ts list. Be sure to choose a selection of snaps that feature face and body from different angles, as well as different facets of your personality.
2. Have realistic expectations. It's ok that you want to ride off into the sunset with Prince or Princess Charming. Just don't expect do it on the first date. Someone who seems awesome online may prove incompatible in person. Anticipating instant fireworks puts too much pressure on the date and is bound to lead to disappointment. Focus on more lowkey goals, like having fun and meeting new people.
3. Don't waste your time. Online dating can be a total time-suck. It's easy to fall into the trap of an endless message exchange, but writing back and forth for weeks before meeting can backfire. You don't want to go on a date only to discover that your fiery text chemistry translates to zero chemistry in person. Meet sooner rather than later so you can both move on if the spark isn't there.
4. Answer the compatibility questions. Not every dating service includes these, but if yours does, answer them. They may seem pointless or tedious, but they serve an actual purpose. Whether or not you believe in a dating algorithm's scientific accuracy, there's something to be said for knowing that you have common interests and values (or don't) with people you're interested in.
5. It's ok to be single. Despite being OkCupid's most popular female user, Urasek says she's happily single. If your swipes and messages and winks don't lead to love, that's ok too. Don't let societal pressure to couple up get to you. Being comfortable with your self is just as – if not more so – important.

Urasek's debut book Popular is available now on Amazon.

Single and looking for love in the UK? You're not the only one. Far from it, in fact. According to data from the 2011 Census, the single population is thriving in England and Wales.

An analysis of the data examined how the single population changed over the decade between 2001 and 2011. Over 15.7 million adults (35% of those aged 16 and over) in England and Wales had never been married in 2011, up significantly from 12.5 million (30%) in 2001. In contrast, there were 23 million (51%) ‘not married’ (meaning never married, divorced, or widowed) people in 2011, a rise from 19.4 million (47%) in 2001.

According to the analysis from the UK's Office for National Statistics, the rise in the single population could be the result of a number of factors. One explanation could be the proportional decline in marriage since the 1970s. Another could be the increased social acceptability of remaining single or cohabiting (either never marrying or not re-marrying following divorce or widowhood).

The Office for National Statistics also teased out a few interesting tidbits from the Census to highlight:

• The single population in 2011 was older than in 2001. The single population aged over the course of the decade, perhaps due to the increase in older divorced and widowed people. Of those who had never been married, women were younger than men, likely due to the trend for women to marry men older than themselves.
• Islington had the highest proportion of single people in its population. The majority of the top 10 local authorities with the highest proportions of individuals who were either never married or unmarried were in London. Islington had the greatest concentration of both these groups. The area with the lowest proportion of both never married and not married was East Dorset.
• There were 21 never married men for every 10 never married women in Richmondshire. In some areas, the ratio of single men to single women was drastically imbalanced. Richmondshire was home to 21 never married men to every 10 never married women. Within Richmondshire, Scotton had the largest difference between males and females who had never married: 97 men to every 10 women. There were no local authorities with considerably more women who had never married than men.

The Office for National Statistics also released an map that plots the results of the Census analysis. Use it to search by relationship status, gender, postcode or address to find out which parts of the country are most densely populated with singles. If you're looking for love and having no luck at home, it may be time to consider a move.

You'd be forgiven for thinking dating is an extrovert's game. With all the messaging and the meeting and the inevitable talking, dating sounds like an introvert's nightmare. The kind where you wake up screaming and then realize you've wet the bed.

But even the shyest of the shy need love and companionship, right? Online dating is for everyone, and in fact may even offer advantages for introverts.

First, online dating can be done from the comfort of your own home (or whatever space you're most comfortable in). Second, it doesn't involve any of the pressures of meeting via traditional methods, like striking up conversations with strangers or jostling for space in crowded bars. And third, it eliminates the pressure of needing to having insightful, witty, flirty conversations on the fly – all of your communication can be done thoughtfully, on your own time, over a series of messages.

With that in mind, here are 5 tips for introverts dipping their toes in the online dating waters.

1. Proceed at your own pace. Your friends are swiping like crazy and you'd almost swear they go on dates 10 days a week. Don't feel pressure to do the same. Go on one date a week, one date every two weeks – whatever works for you. And if it ever feels overwhelming, take a break.
2. Be honest in your profile. Own your introversion. You can outright call yourself an introvert in your profile or, if that's uncomfortable for you, indicate it in more subtle ways. Mention how much you value quiet time, or how happy you are curled up with a book. Drop enough hints and people will get the picture.
3. Choose your dating service wisely. Some dating services may be more suitable than others. A site highly focused on compatibility, like eHarmony, may make you feel more at ease. Or a service like Bumble, that only lets you communicate if mutual interest is established. Or perhaps a personality-specific niche site, like ShyPassions.com.
4. Screen carefully for compatibility. Isn't that what everyone is doing online? Well, yes, kind of, but this is about something very specific. If going out every weekend isn't your style, avoid profiles with tons of party pics. If, on the other hand, you're looking for someone to bring you out of your shell, perhaps the party pics are exactly what you need.
5. Share your interests. So you're not into loud clubs and vodka-soaked dance floors. That's OK. Tell people what you are interested in. You'll attract suitors who are interested in similar things and – added bonus – possibly have a first date built right in.