Tips

Let’s face it: sometimes you’d rather go to the dentist than go on another date, especially if you’ve been online dating and meeting a ton of people. It can be exhausting, because not everyone is going to be right for you. In fact, the vast majority of romantic candidates aren’t going to make it past a few dates.

But sometimes dating can go horribly wrong. Let’s say you meet a man, and he says something offensive, or he is on his phone for half the date instead of talking to you, or he keeps flirting with your waitress instead of you. Do you make an excuse and take off? Do you sneak out through the bathroom? Do you throw your glass of wine in his face?

First, it’s important to have a little perspective, especially if you’re holding a glass of wine that you’re tempted to throw. Is he really that awful, or are you just not a good fit? Before you go storming out, it’s important to give it a real chance. There’s a high potential for misunderstanding when two people don’t know each other.

So how do you make the best of a bad date? Here are four tips:

Don’t pre-judge. If you decide within two minutes that your date isn’t right for you, don’t just mentally check out or make an excuse to leave. Engage a little more. Give it a real chance. How many friends do you have where it took time to get to know them? Each person is different, and those who are good “daters” might not be great partners. Give every date the benefit of the doubt.

Don't be a jerk. I was on a date with a man who confided in me that if a date wasn’t going well, he’d make an excuse, head for the bathroom, and make a hasty exit – leaving her with the bill! Not only was this rude, but it totally ruined any chance of our connecting. Consider how you like being treated and extend the same kindness to others.

Switch up the venue. Are you bored to tears over coffee? Instead of just hanging around for another twenty minutes until you make an excuse to leave, suggest you take a walk. Try a different setting and see if it helps stir things up.

Cut it short with respect. Not everyone is going to be right for you. But if you feel that your date is hopelessly angry or rude or is otherwise making you uncomfortable, then try an honest approach. Let him know that you’re just not a fit, and politely excuse yourself. Just make sure it isn’t within the first ten minutes of the date – that you’ve really given things a chance.

When it comes to choosing that perfect partner, some people are more flexible than others. We all have a dealbreaker or two, but some folks are straight-up close-minded about their love lives. For their latest study, Zoosk decided to identify where the most open-minded daters in America live. For the purposes of the study, “open-mindedness” refered specifically to how willing the person is to date someone different from himself or herself.

After using “advanced data technology” to analyze nearly 1,000,000 “deep conversations” (defined as communications that included two or more exchanged messages) between users, Zoosk handed the info over to their “brilliant data nerds” for interpretation. The top 10 most open-minded cities for dating are:

1. Las Vegas, Nevada
2. Detroit, Michigan
3. Columbus, Ohio
4. Sacramento, California
5. San Antonio, Texas
6. Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
7. Indianapolis, Indiana
8. Jacksonville, Florida
9. Nashville, Tennessee
10. Memphis, Tennessee

And the top 10 least open-minded cities for dating are:

1. Raleigh, North Carolina
2. San Jose, California
3. Birmingham, Alabama
4. Richmond, Virginia
5. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
6. Washington DC
7. San Diego, California
8. Atlanta, Georgia
9. Riverside, California
10. Orlando, Florida

Some cities that didn't score well for open-mindedness overall also ranked on specific dating criteria:

• The most open-minded daters when it comes to height are found in New Orleans. The least open-minded are in Salt Lake City, UT and Richmond, VA.
• When it comes to age, the most open-minded men are located in Seattle and the most open-minded women live in Indianapolis. The least open-minded men and women are found in Raleigh, NC and Richmond, VA.
• Prior marriages are looked down upon in Hartford, CT and Cincinnati, OH, but daters in Salt Lake City and Vegas are unlikely to care about the ups and downs of your marital history.
• Religion isn’t a big deal in California, where men in San Francisco and women in San Jose were rated the most open-minded. In Alabama, on the other hand, faith is extremely important. Birmingham is the most close-minded city for both men and women.
• They like ‘em educated in North Carolina and California. Men and women who call Raleigh and San Jose home are the least flexible about college degrees. In Salt Lake City, on the other hand, college degrees aren't deal breakers for either men or women.
• Body conscious? Then move to San Antonio or Oklahoma City, where citizens are most open-minded about body type. Steer clear of Louisville, KY, the least body type-tolerant city in the country, unless you're super fit.
• Beware of your vices. Smoking is most acceptable in Columbus, OH and Buffalo, NY and least acceptable in Miami and San Jose. Drinking is most acceptable in Providence, RI and least acceptable in San Jose in Salt Lake City.

See the infographic here. To find out more about the dating site which brought us these statistics you can read our Zoosk review.

Embarking on an office romance might seem like a nerve-wracking idea, but many people in long-term relationships have met each other this way. It’s easy to get close to a co-worker, because you get to know them a friends and colleagues first. There is a comfort level that you just can’t get on a first date.

Not to mention you’ll get an extra little bounce in your step on Monday mornings when you get to see each other again. Your focus, time and dedication to work will become even more commendable. Plus, the workday will fly by with a little flirting over texts or IMs.

Unfortunately, carrying on an office romance can also make things much more complicated at work. Chances are your co-workers will notice, and they might assume that it either affects your work quality or you’ll have an unfair advantage if you’re dating a supervisor or someone at a higher level than you are.

So what can you do? Following are five tips if you’re thinking of dating your co-worker:

Know the company rules. If your office doesn’t permit workplace relationships, then you have a choice: stay in your job and let go of the relationship or be willing to change jobs. Don’t take a chance with your job and risk being fired. The rules are in place for a reason, so know how the company operates.

Know your career goals. Are you in a job that leads to your dream career, or are you willing to sacrifice your career trajectory for a chance at a great relationship? You are the only person who can make that decision. If you want to keep your job and get promoted, then reconsider getting involved with someone at work.

Visualize what happens when things go wrong. I know it’s not a pretty thought, but you have to go there – what happens when you break up? Will you have to walk by his cubicle every day? Can you tolerate him flirting with other women? If the thought of working with an ex makes you crazy, then reconsider dating a co-worker.

Don’t date a supervisor or subordinate. If you’re going to pursue a workplace relationship, it’s better if there isn’t a power struggle between you. Don't date your boss or someone in a higher position, and don’t take advantage by dating someone who is a subordinate. If you’re hiding your relationship, assume that everyone already knows. Office gossip spreads fast and likely it will be hard for you to hide.

Be professional. Don't let your work suffer. In many ways, when you’re dating a co-worker you might have to go that extra mile to ensure your personal life doesn’t overshadow your job.

Does dating sometimes feel like you’re beating your head against the wall? Do you spend way too much time pursuing women to no avail? Maybe it’s time to take a step  back and pay attention to what the object of your affection is telling you – maybe not with words, but with body language and cues.

The key to knowing whether or not a woman is interested is simpler than you think. Often, women are more subtle when they are flirting with men, and sometimes a guy could miss the cues to pursue her. Instead of trying to figure out what she wants, it’s time to pay a little more attention and see if she’s signaling her interest.

Following are some ways to tell if she’s really interested in you:

She texts and calls without waiting for you. If a woman is interested, she won’t let too much time go by without contacting you. The old three-day rule no longer applies, nor does the adage that the guy must make the first move. If a woman calls or texts you just to say hi, you can bet she’s interested.

She shows genuine interest in you. Does she look around the room while you’re talking, trying to get a friend’s attention? Or does she pay attention to what you say and engage you in conversation? If a woman doesn’t want to talk to you, she’ll find a way to excuse herself. She will say she has a work commitment or that she’s meeting a friend – she will have a reason for leaving. If she’s wrapped up in what you have to say, she’s interested.

She makes a lot of eye contact. When women are uncomfortable or uninterested, their eyes wander. But if you notice her eyes locking on yours, if she’s meeting your gaze without turning away, then she’s open to getting to know you.

She makes references to seeing you again. Women can be direct or shy when it comes to letting their feelings be known. If she’s direct, she’ll ask you when you two will be going out again. If she’s shy or uncertain how you feel, she might drop a few hints about what she likes to do, or mention where she’ll be in the next few evenings so that you’ll know and plan to be there, too. Pay attention, and then if you’re interested – ask her out!

Her body language is playful and flirtatious. Women generally keep their hands to themselves if they aren’t interested in a man who’s flirting with them. If she touches your arm, shoulder, or hand, or leans forward towards you a lot, then that’s a cue that she’s open to flirting and interested in you.

Related Article: 5 Ways to Tell if He’s Interested in You

Have fun, and happy dating!

Women aren’t the only mysterious creatures around – guys can be every bit as baffling when it comes to dating. One minute you think he’s interested, and the next you wonder if you imagined your mutual attraction as he suddenly disappears.

While some questions might go unanswered, if he’s truly interested in you – he sticks around. With my significant other, I had no doubts about his interest (as I had with previous men who were incredible flaky). That’s because he knew what he wanted - and he let me know.

Instead of trying to convince yourself he likes you, see if he’s displaying the following signs of his interest. Then you’ll really know:

He pursues you. We might be living in a society where women are increasingly the pursuers and taking charge, but if a man is interested, he wants to pursue a woman. He will call you, text you, remind you that he’s thinking about you by keeping consistent contact with you. This is because he’s focused on the goal – getting together with you. If he’s dropping in and out, he’s just not that interested.

He keeps his word. Does he often flake at the last minute? Chances are you aren’t one of his priorities. If he’s really interested, he will make time for you and when he makes plans he will follow through. If an emergency comes up, he will call you to reschedule. He doesn’t mess around or leave you hanging.

He pays attention to you. Does your guy look around the room when you’re out on dates, seeing who else might be there? If he’s truly interested, his eyes will be focused on you. He wants you to know that he’s interested – that he doesn’t want other guys taking his place. He’s not interested in what he’s missing, either. He listens to what you have to say and engages you in conversation.

He wants you to meet his friends and family. This might not be true in the beginning of the relationship, but as it progresses, he will want to bring you into his world. If he makes excuses about introducing you to friends and family after you’ve been dating a couple of months, it might be that he has someone else in his life or that he’s not interested in anything serious.

He’s affectionate. While some women think men are all about sex, the men who are interested in you are focused on other things, too – like showing you affection. If he grabs your hand in public or kisses you without an ulterior motive, then he’s showing you his affection. Enjoy it!

Related Article: 5 Ways to Tell if She’s Interested in You

If you've been single, chances are you've also had a few bad dates. Unfortunately, sometimes a bad experience is enough to turn someone completely off of dating. I've heard many women complain, "I just can't meet any good men in this city, so why should I bother?" I live in L.A., and while dating can be a strange thing to navigate here, there are certainly many people looking for love just like you.

So what do you do to bounce back when dating can feel like a waste of time? Bad dates happen. But this doesn't mean that all dates are bad. Think of it this way - some people you hit it off with and share instant chemistry. With others, you might feel a spark of interest or curiosity, and still others there's not much making you swoon. In other words, there are lots of gray areas. Not everyone is going to be amazing, but then - not everyone is going to be horrible, either. Some may pique your interest when you're not expecting it.

You might feel otherwise if you haven't met anyone special, or if you've just experienced a string of bad dates. But this is the best time to kind of recharge and adjust your perspective on dating. Following are some tips to help:

Join a dating site with a friend. Have you ever asked a friend to take an exercise class with you to help inspire you to actually go? It works well with dating, too. If you're over online dating, it's a lot more fun to join a new site with a friend. You can check in with each other to see how often you're logging in and who you're meeting. You can edit each other's profiles. When you're in it together, you don't feel so overwhelmed or alone.

Go someplace new. Instead of meeting for coffee or drinks at the places you know as a first date option, try something new. I like to recommend active dates, like jogging or wandering around a gallery or walking your dogs together. Check your local online listings for what's happening, and explore together.

Agree to a second date with someone you weren't so sure about. Maybe one of your past dates wasn't so bad - he just didn't exactly rock your world, either. He's worth a second chance. Most of us enter relationships based entirely on chemistry, but this can be misleading. How many relationships started this way but fizzled out quickly? People are more complex and rich than we could ever know in one meeting. Take more time and get to know them. You never know what could happen.