Dating

The scenario: You've met a woman you find incredibly attractive. You've been dating for a few weeks, and are considering a relationship. The problem? She posts constantly about her personal life on social media, and checks Facebook and Instagram constantly, which makes you a little uncomfortable. What will she say about you?

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and other social media sites have become a huge part of our lives. Most of us regularly check in. But we all have different levels of comfort with what and how much we share.

If you're in your twenties, you're more likely to friend someone before the first date, and you're more likely to share aspects of your life over social media. There isn't such a divide between your virtual presence and your real life, because the Internet and social media have been ever-present. So it might be harder to discern where the line is when you discuss your love life. For instance, do you blog, Tweet, or share stories on Facebook about your dates? Do you look at someone's relationship status before her ring finger? Do you like to post photos of you and your dates on Instagram?

Social media can play a large role in developing relationships, so it's important to discuss how you will use it if you decide to take your relationship to the next level.

Maybe you're worried because your girlfriend checks her Facebook page when she first wakes up in the morning, or because her Instagram account is full of pictures of her getting drunk with friends. Before you make assumptions about her online behavior going forward, it's important to discuss what makes you uncomfortable and set some boundaries as far as what you'll share online.

For instance, let her know that you love her blog, but you don't want to be the subject of any posts, positive or negative. Talk about your relationship status in person before you make decisions about what it is on Facebook. Maybe you're fine with her posting pictures of her meals, travel, or friends on Instagram, but you're uncomfortable with her keeping a visual record of every date. Talk it out. Together you can decide where the boundaries are, what you can compromise on, and what will make both of you happy.

Bottom line: if you're uncomfortable with how much or the content of what your girlfriend shares, let her know. Don't expect her to have the same opinions or judgments as you do. Everyone is a little different when it comes to what they are willing to expose and the stories they wish to tell publicly. So don't make assumptions based on what you think is right. Discuss how much you want to share of your love life over social media.

Friending someone on Facebook before your first date might be more acceptable than you think, according to a recent survey by Mashable.com.

One out of four people send a friend request before the first date, according to the responses of 3,000 participants who were asked what they found acceptable in regard to dating in the digital age. Roughly 39% of college-aged participants friend request before the first date, but then the number drops to 26.2% for 20-somethings and 16.4% for those in their thirties. For all ages, only 12.5% prefer to wait until you mutually decide on relationship exclusivity.

So what does this mean for your Facebook profile? Since friending early on in the dating trajectory seems to be the trend, it's important to know what you post on your page and make sure to adjust your privacy settings. If you've been ranting about your awful ex boyfriend or posting drunk photos with your friends, you might be putting off potential dates. Most of us don't take the time to filter each post, but if you're choosing to friend virtual strangers before you've even started to date, you might want to consider the importance of your digital first impression.

And what about announcing your relationship status on Facebook? As it turns out, women are slightly more reluctant than men to do so. Almost 79% of women say they must be mutually exclusive in a relationship before posting, whereas only 63.5% of men agree. Over 19% of men say that they would become Facebook official after multiple dates compared with only 10% of women.

Do you check your phone on a date? Has it become a more acceptable practice? Not really, according to respondents. Over 50% say that you should never check your phone on a first date, or only if it's an emergency. However, 37% are willing to check their phones if a date has left the room. No age group was okay with checking your phone whenever you wanted while on a date.

Another statistic that was intriguing: despite our culture's increasing preference for texting vs. calling someone, more people in their twenties, thirties and forties prefer a call over a text from someone they just met and who might be interested in dating. There was a bit of a gap among the age groups however. Twenty-three percent of women in their twenties preferred a phone call compared to 15% who thought a text message was acceptable. But for women in their forties, 47% felt that a phone call was an acceptable way to follow up with someone compared to only 7.7% who felt that texting was okay.

I live in southern California, so I have to admit - dating here, and especially in the summer, is awesome. There's no need for a back-up plan because it rarely rains. Outdoor concerts, hiking, and kayaking are all great dates that can be planned in advance with no hiccups.

But for the majority of the country, it's not so easy. Plans for taking a picnic to the beach are easily thwarted with afternoon thunder showers or the occasional cold, overcast evening. Instead of cursing the local weather person, try one of these indoor date ideas:

See some art. Museums often stay open late in the summer, especially if there is a special exhibition. Other good alternatives are galleries, which tend to be smaller, more intimate experiences with wine and cheese offerings if it's opening night. Check your local listings for what's available.

Cook together. When was the last time you bought special ingredients and prepared an elaborate three-course dinner including dessert? One of my favorite dates is cooking together - sharing a bottle of wine and trying out a new recipe. Not a chef? That's okay. Look for cooking classes in your area. Most will give you a specific assignment and provide ingredients so you don't have to shop. Go for an informal, fun setting so it doesn't become stressful or a contest. The point is to have fun and enjoy what you create together.

Painting parties. Many cities are starting to offer "wine and paint" parties, which are exactly as they sound. You pay a set fee for supplies, and then you're given a painting assignment while you sip some chardonnay. Don't consider yourself an artist? That's okay. It's a chance to be creative and have some fun indoors. (And if you're single, you could meet potential dates.)

Watch old movies. There's nothing like a movie marathon to help boost your spirits. Pop some popcorn, crack open a bottle of wine, and login to your Netflix account to revisit some of your old favorites, whether it's Breakfast at Tiffany's, Say Anything, or Pulp Fiction. You get to decide in the comfort of your own living room.

Go dancing. Were you looking to get some exercise? If your date admits his dance moves aren't the best, maybe it's time to take some lessons. Most cities offer informal classes in salsa, two-step, and other popular forms of dance, and then open the floor for everyone later in the evening. Even if you're not the best dancers, it will help you break a sweat, listen to good music, and have some fun.

When you're online dating, sometimes it can be hard to tell what a potential match's relationship goals might be. Is she looking for a fling, or something more substantial? Many people don't reveal their true intentions in a dating profile, but they do provide some clues.

New research by The University of Texas found that when a woman is looking for a fling, she tends to talk about herself in her profile. But if she focuses on the traits she desires in a man, she's likely looking for something more serious.

For the study, researchers asked single women to record video profiles for an online dating site. After the video was recorded the women were asked questions about their relationship goals. They discovered that women who talked about the kind of partner they wanted were more selective, whereas the women advertising themselves were just looking to have fun.

Following are a few more tips to help you recognize what her relationship intentions are:

She's completed a profile. Most women who are serious spend a lot of time answering questions and writing profile descriptions, compared to those who aren't. The more thoughtful she is in her approach and the more she shares what she wants, the more likely she is looking for a relationship. If she leaves a lot of blank spaces, chances are she's not so committed.

She's responsive. Many people set up online dating profiles just to scroll through pictures and see who's out there. If you notice she hasn't checked in for a week, or she responded to your emails and then abruptly stopped, then chances are she's not really invested in finding a new relationship (or she already found someone else). However, if she's engaging you in digital conversation, respond in a timely manner. It means she's interested.

She pays for the site. Yes, there is a difference between daters who sign up for the free sites compared with those who are willing to shell out some dough. When you pay for online dating, you tend to be more serious, because let's face it - it's easy to meet people for free. (This is especially true for women---they get all kinds of emails when they sign up for free dating sites.) But if you want to meet a quality match who is also willing to pay (a.k.a. find a real relationship), then you're best bet is to pay for it.

One of the best things about online dating is its ability to connect you with more potential partners, from anywhere in the world, than you would ever encounter in real life.

One of the worst things about online is its ability to connect you with more potential partners, from anywhere in the world, than you would ever encounter in real life. All that choice is more than a little overwhelming, and when we're faced with an overwhelming number of choices we tend not to make any decisions at all.

What's the point of spending all that time browsing profiles if you're only going to window shop? Online dating doesn't do you any good unless you actually remember to do the 'dating' part, too.

Learning how to online date efficiently wasn't easy, but after enough wasted hours and dead-end profiles I've finally figured out a few key ways to identify dates with real potential. If you're in the market for something more serious than a few flirty messages or a quick hookup, be on the lookout for these four signs you've found a promising partner:

1. They've got a positive outlook on life. You wouldn't want to spend your life with someone who was consistently pessimistic, so why start a relationship with someone who is already showing off their negative side? Profiles that are cynical about relationships, whine about their exes, or otherwise talk about the ways life gets them down are not good date material.
2. They're confident but humble. There's a fine line to walk when you're dating online - you have to present your positive qualities (because if you don't, who will?), but you don't want to come off as arrogant or narcissistic. Avoid profiles that cross the line and seem more interested in talking about themselves than learning about you.
3. They've got something going for them. That 'something' can be pretty much anything - an intriguing hobby, a passion for travel, an interesting job - as long as it exists. What you don't want is a profile that seems totally directionless. If every picture takes place in a nightclub and is captioned with something about how wasted they were that night, long-term dating probably isn't in the cards.
4. They're taking it seriously. We've all run across those profiles that consist of only a few sentences, one of which is probably something about how they don't know what to say or aren't really sure about the online dating thing. Don't date a waffler. Unless it's clear that they have a profile because they're genuinely interested in meeting someone to date, don't waste your time.

While everyone loves a Hollywood ending, in real life, things can get much more complicated and murky. Instead of the leading man and the object of his affection coming together despite all the odds, there is usually a trail of miscommunication, resentment, and mistakes. All too often, it just doesn't work out.

If you're waiting around for your prince to find you like Tom Hanks finds Meg Ryan in Sleepless in Seattle, then you might want to rethink your strategy. Love takes two people actively searching and putting forth the effort. Developing a strong relationship takes time, trust, and courage - not to mention actually meeting first.

Following are some of the other myths about love we could do without:

Emotionally distant men will come around. I know - who didn't think Carrie should pursue her affair with Mr. Big? And let's face it, there is something really sexy about Don Draper. But these are poor examples of worthy men when it comes to finding the right relationship. A man of mystery doesn't know how to give love or communicate, which can lead to frustration, mistrust, and resentment over time. Instead of seeking to turn the bad boy into a loving partner, find a new love.

I want my boyfriend to pursue me. It's very romantic to picture a man running through the streets of New York trying to catch us before we board that plane to London and leave him for good. But is that really plausible? If you are waiting for that moment where your man decides he can't live without you, then you're likely chasing a dream. When a man is truly interested, he makes himself clear. He pursues you, calls you, wants to spend time with you. He doesn't keep you from his friends and family, he looks to incorporate you into his life.

Changing my appearance will help me get a man. Many women go to great lengths with botox injections, breast implants, tummy tucks and lip fillers. But does this really attract a man with long-term potential? Most men find a woman attractive based on her energy and her confidence rather than her size. If you embrace your physical flaws and exude sexiness, you'll be irresistible.

We should just "get" each other. As romantic as it sounds to be able to stare into one another's eyes and know what each other is thinking, this is not the case. Communication is essential in any successful relationship. If you aren't getting your needs met, it's important to speak up instead of thinking he should figure it out. Talking with each other about what you both want creates emotional intimacy.